Incinerating SSB: Mission from God
by Midnight Crew
Summary: M.C and Spades are back to take on an author trying to make the next My Immortal in this satire filled story
1. Introduction

Hello everyone, this is just an introduction to the story and the whole warning shit. This story is Super Smash Bros: Mission from God. Yes, I spelt the title better than the author did. It is written by PrincessAmerica, or rather, Sara, who has rather...strong beliefs, and a mindset that if you don't share her beliefs you are a devil worshiping ass. Joy, right? Nope. There are thirty five chapters in this story plus one chapter of the sequel, we did not review the sequel and have no interest in reviewing the sequel.

Because this story kind of rips into a rather touchy subject, you might be offended when you read it. So, if you are easily offended or quick to anger by the following subjects; Extreme homophobia, terrible, and I mean _terrible _spelling, grammar, story telling, major character derailment, plot derailment, inability to keep two worlds separate, extreme narcissism from author, racism, main character slash author being a complete bitch but everyone loves her, altering history on infamous and serious points in time and thinking she's right, than you might not want to read this.

I want to point out now that Spades and I become rather harsh further in the story as our patience for this author begins to disappear. To put it simply; we say rather mean things and have the utmost hatred for this story.

But whatever we say, no matter how cruel, no matter how angry, are just words. We don't actually want to hurt the author, we could care less about Sara to be honest. She's just an obnoxious, racist thirteen year old with serious homophobia problems. We say we want her to die a lot later in the story but we do not. We do not actually want her to die or anything. We just want her to stop writing these awful stories.

That being said; read at your own risk.


	2. Chapter 1

**This story is a collaboration between M.C and Spades, this is meant as satire to TrollFics. This one is so well known that it has it's own TVTrops page. That's how we found it.**

**We own nothing that isn't in the bold, or before the story actually starts.**

**Basically, if it's spelled correctly and makes sense, then it's what we wrote and not the story we're reviewing.**

The room is dark, the seats are all empty. Popcorn is littered on the floor from previous sessions. In the front row, there are two seats with VIP reservations on it, though it might not be needed.

The doors open and a grouchy teenage boy stalks in, obviously suffering from sleep deprivation. He should probably stop using 'Play Video Games' as his insomnia medicine. It doesn't help. At all.

Behind him walks a peppy girl of the same age wearing a cloak much like that from Attack on Titan, her hair is tied in its usual ponytail and she is sporting new glasses.

The two look around at the empty theater, then at the screen.

The boy takes on look at it all before yelling and making his way to leave, but the doors are locked.

"For the love of God! We're doing this _again_?" M.C cries out in anger as he trails behind Spades, "I thought we were done with this when our _Burning My Immortal To The Ground_ was deleted. _Twice._"

Spades just smiles and ruffles the cranky guys hair, "Come on M.C! This is fun!"

"Maybe for you…" M.C grumbles as they take their seat.

M.C looks straight at the camera, giving the viewers and readers a hard glare, "I don't know why you guys read this. But fine, I'll start."

He gets up and clears his throat and points his thumb at himself, "I'm M.C, your host, this is my co-host slash friend slash crazy stalker, Spades."

Spades gives a smile and a wave.

"We're back from God knows where to bring you another satire filled commentary of another horrible story." He picks up some cards and scans through them, before making a face between horror and rage. "Actually, this story is an attempt someone had at making the new _My Immortal_."

He pauses, letting that information sink in, "Yeah, we're reading another shitty version of that fucktastic disaster. Joy, right? First, remember I'm bold, she's underlined."

Spades interrupts him as she shoves him back into his seat and took the cards from him, "Anyways guys, we'll be reviewing _Supper Smash Bros: Mishonh From God _by PrincessAmerica," she paused as she read the card.

"Um…did our producers misspell the story's name…or is that the actual title?" She whispered to M.C.

He glared at her, "What the Hell do you think?"

"….oh God. This is going to be long."

M.C sighs and picks up the last card, "Okay, view discretion shit. This story is going to contain content that some may find highly offensive. You have been warned."

X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X

Hi my name is Sara (not Palin unfortanetly)

**I think she would lose any fans or supporters if you were her.**

and im a 13 yearold girl who loves America and God and the Constantution

**You're thirteen? Shouldn't you be better at typing and spelling then this?**

so i librul soshalist

**….What?**

who likes barrack obama than LEAVE NAO and go back too getting wefare

**Hey MC, aren't you a Liberal?**

**Spades, my parents are Liberals, I'm a 'I don't give a shit, leave me out of it'.**

for noting and trying to turn every1 into gay athists

**Um, yeah, this chick is a complete moron. **

**Stereotypes are stereotypes.**

also I lik video games like supper smash bras

**Does it give boobs the power to smash shit like Hulk? If so, I want a Super Smash Bra!**

**Oh God….**

and otters even thou im a gril (my mom sad id turn a les if I play video game

**Oh fuck no. I play video games, I'm a girl! And I'm about as straight as the pole shoved up MC's ass!**

**HEY!**

but I put pics of jaykob from twilit and juston beber in my room so idont).

**Jacob is gay, (The fans have made him and Edward boyfriends it would seem) and Justin Beiber is just a douche.**

CHAP 1: MISSON FORM GOD

**I'm sorry, but if God gave her a Divine Mission, then screw this, I'm switching religions.**

**To what?**

**The VIKINGS!**

**….You're just saying that because you think Loki is hot, you do know this right?**

**God of Mischief is God of Sexy.**

**Once again…oh God…**

I was in my seance class one dat when my librul teacher mr jonson was talkin about evilusion.

**A topic that teachers are ****_supposed_**** to teach.**

"an tat is why humins came form monkees and their is no god" he said.

**Um, he's doing a bad job at separating Church from School.**

**But we are from monkeys, Spades here is proof.**

**Asshole.**

I razed my han.d

"yes Sara" he said.

"if humin came from monkees why r their still monks"

**Because monks are humans, moron.**

my teacher had no anser for that so he give me a ditention and an f on my test.

**Sterotypical bad teacher**

**I can answer why there are still monkeys: Evolution doesn't mean that the entire species is going to evolve. Some monkeys evolved and changed while others didn't.**

**I don't think that's completely right.**

**Shut up.**

"hahaha!" he sad "you Christens wil be defeet on day!

**And this is why I ignore my teachers**

**This has nothing to do with why you ignore your teachers.**

athests alreedy rule dis cuntry becuz of obama car and son all Christens will goto deaf panells!"

**This girl is kind of a bitch. Okay a major bitch.**

just then the door toteh science room opened and God walked in. he was waring a rob and had a bread like he allways does.

**And how do you know what God would look like? He could shave, he could be wearing a suit. Just because society evolved doesn't mean God can't evolve too.**

"mr jonson ur gong too HELL!"

**I'm pretty sure God wouldn't do that.**

"no cuz u arnt reel" mr jonson said.

**I have to agree with the teacher here. Not that God isn't real, but why the hell would he believe someone who just randomly walked into his classroom is really God?**

**Why the hell would he walk into a classroom to condemn someone to Hell for? He could just have him die and then do so.**

"lol ur a moran" God said and he stroked mr jonson with lighting and mr jonson ded.

**I feel like this is one of DarkMatter's videos.**

"yay!" said all the Christens in the class.

"boo!" said the Heatrans so God stroked all them to.

**Okay stop! STOP! Right here!**

_The screen stopped and Spades stood up and glared at everything, "Okay, Christians who are reading this or anyone really. Do you really think God would do something so pointlessly cruel and stupid?"_

_MC raised an eyebrow, "Well, there was the Arc and flood incident," he pointed out only to be shushed by Spades._

_"Would he just waltz into a science classroom, _murder_ a teacher and students, just because they don't believe in him? That goes against everything, at least everything I've been taught about him!" Spades yelled._

_She sat down and MC gestured for the monkeys to continue playing the story._

"ok now I nead too talk too Sara God said. "so everbuddy else leave."

**God is kind of a jerk.**

**This isn't really God.**

**I know.**

"ok" my classmates left the room.

"Sara Osborne ive bean watching u for sum time," he sad, "this world isnt the only on I mad."

**Yes, he made another world where Kangaroos were the superior species.**

**What?**

**Oh my God. Haven't you ever watched ****_God, The Devil, and Bob_****?**

**No.**

"for real" I ask.

"yea do u no about video games."

**Um, who doesn't know about video games? I mean sure not everyone plays them, but I'm sure everyone in America has heard of them.**

"yea I play them with my bro and Lauren"

**Yet didn't you claim earlier that girls playing video games makes them lesbians?**

**Spades is proof that it isn't true, as is lots of female gamers.**

(my bro is my brother and Lauren is my BFF forever and shes a PCC (Pretty Consertative Christen) like me to)

**More self inserts and friend inserts. This is just as bad as My Immortal.**

**Only because its insulting a bigger subject then Harry Potter, Goths and Preprs.**

"well they are real because when u play the nother unevirse I made"

**So, Tamriel is real? Does that mean that the Nine (Eight not counting Talos) Divines are real? And the Daedric Princes are real?**

**I guess according to this story they are.**

**Oh screw Loki! Sheogorath! Master of Madness!**

**I think you're becoming the spawn of madness….**

"cool God" I hi fived God.

"ok but theres treble. Satan found out about this and now hes in Nentendo World.

**Oh leave him be. It's just a fucking video game! I'm pretty sure all the protagonists in Nintendo can kick Satans ass.**

Only u can stop him b4 he dose evil stuff their."

**Okay, ****_The Chosen One _****trope****_?_**

**Check****.**

"oh no."

"right this is the hardest thing u ever done even harder than ur math test last month.

**Did…did he really just say that?**

**Seriously kid, wait till you get to high school, ****_everything_**** is going to be harder than that math test.**

**We know, three years in and we're still at the 'Pull hair out' stage of frustration.**

God thing i'm God and I can give u cool powers and stuff."

**DON'T!**

**DON'T!**

So God gave me some power and I fell to sleep.

**We are so screwed now.**

**I'm sorry, but since when was God an idiot? **

**He should know what a terrible idea that was.**

When I woke up I was outside of the Smosh Manshon!

**Fuck. This.**


	3. Chapter 2

**The second chapter to this. Again, we own nothing.**

* * *

First of all whats a troll?

***Inserts long and descriptive explanation because every Troll denies knowing what a troll is***

I men I think I fot sum in a game b4 but there not in my story so why did you mention them in the revew.

**Because, sweetie *Gags* you are a troll.**

And whats a mary sue?

***Inserts long and descriptive explanation because everyone using a Mary Sue denies knowing what a Mary Sue is***

And my mom and dad sad that I need to spred the truth of God's word on the intranet

**Look girl, this isn't spreading the Truth of God. This is making people feel ashamed to be Christians, Catholics, or any other religion.**

and speak out aganst the soshalists destroying America.

**Not. All. Socialist. Are. Bad.**

**Honestly, you're doing more damage then they are PrincessAmerica.**

Also I didnt updaty yesterday becuz my family thought that their woud be the raptor.

**What?**

Lauren said their woudnt and she was rite so I gess that provs who smart she is.

**I think that proves how dumb you are.**

CHAP 2: SARA MEATS CHARECTERS

**Even the chapter title is spelt wrong.**

the smash mantian

**Is this Mansion**

**Or Martian?**

was a really big hose with like a gatrillion romos

**Okay, I really doubt this bitch is 13. Either that or she's actually a troll.**

an was alota stories tall I was inteminated by who big it was. Suddenly someon came. It was like a robot except a person was in it.

**Um, so a robot with a person hiding inside came to visit you? I'm pretty sure Bender is the only robot who's allowed to be hollow.**

**Unless it's Al, but he's a suit of armor, not a robot.**

**Honestly I think she is talking about one of those futuristic suits like in Halo.**

"hai their pretty gurl" the robot person said.

**NO! NO LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!**

"u think im pretty" I saod.

"yea ur the hotist gurl ive ever sean."

I thought it was Mister Chef

**MASTER! Master Chief**

from Hallo but it wasnt but I didnt no that so I cloded my eyes an mad out with robot person

**Why the hell would you make out with someone just because of that!?**

**What do you expect?**

but when I open them its not Mastre Cheef but SAMAS ERIN!

**Their suits aren't the same style, their suits are NOTHING alike. How the hell can you mistake them!**

"hahahhaha I triked u in too thikning I was a dud but im a girl" samas said.

**….I hate this. **

"why do u do these! I liek guys nit girls ima Christen!" I shooted.

**I'm pretty sure there are homosexuals who are also Christians. I don't think there is any law that says that you can't believe in a God and be gay.**

"BECAUSE IMA LESBAN!" Samas said "anf im a antithesis so I want u 2 goto hell for bein gay like me."

**Spades, you're cousin is gay, right?**

**Yeah…?**

**Is she like this?**

**Oh Hell no.**

**Thought so.**

than Samas tred too rap me she took of my shirt

**Isn't she in a suit of armor? Kind of hard to do that when I suspect that it takes like a few minutes and the use of both hands to get out of that.**

(I had my bra under so I wasnt tipless)

**For once a girl in a shitty story like this who knows what a bra is!**

adn my shirt which had pantees under it so I still wasnt nakid.

**This is the one thing she's done right: WEARING A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR! Do you know how many times I read a story and the girl just doesn't wear anything underneath?! It's like she's prepared 100% of the time to have sex or be raped! It's stupid!**

"no help!" I screemed. Lucklily Link and Math and Icke wear nearbye so they git hoarses and ran up and came b4 iy was to late.

**To be honest? I would just let it happen.**

**….**

**What? It wouldn't be rape. Besides I have a thing for badass women.**

**You like any fictional girl so long as she knows how to kick ass.**

**Yes I do.**

"stop been a gay librul Samas" Icke said.

**Oh, everyone here is going to have the authors mindset aren't they.**

"yea wereman and your a women so lissen to us" Link said.

**I thought Link was the silent character?**

"but im a lesban so im a femanast and im not gonna lissen to u"

**Stereotypes are stereotypes.**

Samas said. She taked of my shoes next. They were fancy hi-hells from goosepy zanaty that cast my mom $2000.

**Who the fuck buys shoes that expensive?!**

**Any girl who is an idiot?**

butthan Marth grabed Samas with his hercule arms and through her in teh moot off the manshan

"r u ok" he asked. He kissed my hand romanticly.

**Oh God, not again.**

"yea sorry I mad u do that"

"its ok Samas is a librul so she hadit cumin" March said.

**This girl is a bitch.**

I looked into his eyes. He was like if the looks of Jaykob and Juston Beeber were combined with the genus of Sean Hanety and Ross Limbog. Expect he had blue hare.

**Then he doesn't look like them then. Who the hell is he anyways? **

My hare was long and bland and really petty.

**So you have a pretty rabbit, no one cares.**

"u hat libruls to" I asked.

"yea me and Link and Icke r all borne-agen Christens" Marth said

"cool can I meat everyone els" I sad.

"ok" so I climed on Marth's hoarse and rod too the manshan and went in side. In the manshan I met other Christens like Peach and Zelda and Ton Link and Pit and Nas and Luckas and Kerby and King Deedee and the Maryo bros (Mary and Lugia)

**Uh, Mary and Lugia? Da fuck are they?**

**Mario and Luigi's derange dumb cousins?**

and Sonec and Sold Snape, who was Marth's father (I dont think he was Marths father ibn the gam but wouldnt it be cool if he was)

**No, it wouldn't be.**

and Clod Strafe and the real Master Chef (those 2 werent in smash bros for some resin but there in this).

**Maybe because they aren't Nintendo made? Not all videogames belong to Nintendo you idiot.**

But their were also libruls

**I'm just wondering. Halo is, and I've only played Halo ODST, but the point of it is basically a war with Aliens. Kind of a Religious War on the Aliens side right? So according to this author, does that mean that Covenant are going to Hell?**

like Bowser and Ganandorf and Waro and Donky Khan and Diddy and Metal Nite and Picachoo and Pacman Tranner and the other Pacmans and Wolf and Fux Mcledo and Falcon and Captan Falco (who was Samas boyfrend b4 they both turd gay from a govermint vaksine).

**Turned gay? TURNED GAY? Oh come on! There is no vaccine or serum that will make someone gay! Only the biggest idiots believe that!**

I new I had my work cut out for me.

**I know that if this story had any realistic subjects in it, you would be beaten to a pulp. Because honestly, you wouldn't survive in a video game world. **


	4. Chapter 3

It was time to return to the review. Smoke began filling up the room as the lights dimmed, music began playing.

When the door opened, instead of a badass entrance, or anything awesome, M.C and Spades were on their knees coughing.

"Turn off..." M.C was cut off by another coughing fit, "Turn off the smoke!" the smoke turned off and the two collapsed onto the ground, gagging and panting.

"On...onto the review," Spades said.

* * *

Stop atecking my storey!

**We wouldn't be attacking if you weren't writing.**

God will juge u when u dye and if u insult Christens tehn he will send u too Hell!

**I'm pretty sure that doesn't work.**

And thanks 2 the people who said nice things.

**Why would anyone say anything nice about this story?**

I no u will goto Haven.

**You can't tell who's going to Heaven or Hell.**

Also I no that Samas is a lesbain

**Because you don't like her.**

becuas when I firts playted I only saw her in amour soi thought she was a hot guy. but then I usde her finale smash and fond out she was a gurl.

**Oh! So it's because YOU thought she was hot! I'm sorry but games don't work that way.**

I had to star at my pics off justan beber and jayncob

**SPELL THEIR NAMES RIGHT.**

4 even longer then I usuely do wen Lauren comes over 2 kep me strait.

**Okay, stop. I'm going to explain something to you, and all idiots who think the same way as you. Sexuality doesn't work that way. If you find yourself attracted to someone, you can't help it. People can't alter or change what they're attracted to. You can change your sexual conducts but that's about it.**

**This was just the authors note and I already have a headache.**

CHAP 3: HE FINALLE SMASH

the next day I was in my first mach of my carer.

**Career? So you were able to get a job? Who the Hell would hire you?**

It was Me and Zelda fitting Bowzer and Falcor. We were the rad tem becuase were consercativs and they wear the blu tem becuas they wer libruls.

**Why is she making this so focused on politics? **

**Don't know. Wish she would stop though. Thank God she didn't bring in the actual Red and Blue team. If I saw Church, Washington, Meta-slash-Maine or Donut here, I would scream.**

**And have a meltdown like the Twila story?**

**Yes.**

I was waerinmg a pretty red dress that everone expect the libruls complamented me on.

**Why the Hell do girls have to wear dresses when fighting? Wear mjolnir armor! God knows that you'll need it since you will suck at combat.**

Boozer keeped breathing firs at us an Falco shat lazors form his gum.

**I want Gum that shoots lasers.**

Zelda turne dinto Shrek

**Just. No.**

and throw needs at Boozer

**ITS BROWSER!**

and hit hem wiht a chan. Son bowsar was defet. Ten Falcor git a smash bell

**Readers, can you tell what's going on? Because I. Am. Lost.**

and sumoed a gina tank call a lendmaster and shat Zelda so she flyed of and loosed. I thout I was domed butthen I herd Gods vois.

**"Sara! You are a major racist, homophobic bitch. I'm going to throw you into the sun now! Bye! See you never!" He said and then Sara was launched into the sun where she burned to a crisp.**

"Sara! Remamber the powerz I give u at scool."

**Oh God no. It's a deus ex machina!**

**Do we capitalize that or...?**

**Dues Ex Machina. Dues ex machina, dues ex machina. I don't care if it's capitalized or not!**

I used on of the powers that God gav

**Which brings up a valid point: The hell was God smoking that made him think it was a decent idea to give her powers?! It would be better to give LOKI the powers of God then give HER the powers!**

me and I insanely had my finale smash. I actived it and it cussed me to turn into an angle.

**NO!**

**No! No! No! No! No! *Gets up* No! No! No! No! No! No! No! *Begins rolling on the floor and screaming No!***

**...I think M.C is having a mental breakdown.**

I used my holly powers to stroke down the lendmaster and defete Falco.

**NO! NO! NO! NO!**

**M.C.**

**SHE DOES NOT GET HOLY POWERS!**

***Rage Mode Active!***

**SHE IS THE FURTHEST THING FROM HOLY! THIS IS FICTIONAL AND HER BEING AN ANGEL IS A NIGHTMARE!**

"this gams winer: rad tema" the narater said.

When I laft the fit Mart hwas waiting for me.

**KILL HER! KILL THE ANGEL IMPOSTER BITCH!**

"OMG! that was amazon! I nerver seen someone us a finale smash withotu a smash ball b4!" he said.

**NO! FUCK YOU! KILL HER! ****_KEEL HER!_**

**M.C! CALM THE FUCK DOWN *Tackles him* Shoosh! Shoosh! SHOOSH MOTHERFUCKER! *Slaps him***

***Deep breath* I'M-...I'm calm. I'm good. Thanks.**

***Rage Mode Ended***

"Its because of the powers God gave me."

**FUCK!**

***Rage Mode Active!***

**Oh for the love of God!**

"Cool. Now me and my dad are fitting Samas and Wario."

Greet! Ill wach" I said.

So tghe next fit began and Marth and Snake are the red team and Samas and Warop were ther blue team. Samas saw I was washing so she tred to deduce

**WHO THE-**

**Who the fuck would want to seduce you, you ugly hag?!**

me with her lucius lips and huge beasts but I was strate

**You're about as crooked as the Joker.**

so it didnt work and Mark hit her with his sord while she was distrected and his dad threw gonads at her. She got blowed up and lots a stack.

**I'm...I'm going to vomit because of how bad this is. *Walks to the trash can***

"Samas! Get ur had in the game! Present brock obana wode want us to kill all Christens," Waryo said.

**Okay. This is where I draw the line. I'm okay...all right, I'm ****_somewhat_**** okay with destroying FICTIONAL characters like this. But Obama is a LIVING. BREATHING. BEING! That's crossing the line from being a bad author who needs to quit righting to being a complete and utter douche bag.**

**Obama isn't perfect. But we've never had a perfect president, but he's done all right. I'm sick of people flaming him. But going as far as to say 'President Barack Obama wants to kill all Christians' is too far. I don't care how old you are. I don't care if you're parents made you right this. **

**YOU are a horrible person. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are one of the worst people I've ever met! I've never met someone as racist, as homophobic, as big of a bitch as you, or someone who butchered the English language as much as you have!**

**MY FUCKING IMMORTAL WAS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT!**

***DEMON MODE ACTIVE***

**...I'm...going to hide now.**

"Rite" Samas said. She ataked Marth and Snake.

Son everybuddy only had on stack left. Wart rain tords Snack and het him with a motosicle. He flowed off and explode.

**LET THIS ENTIRE STORY EXPLODE!**

"Father! NO!" Matt said. He ran at Waryo with is sore.

**Sore? What's he going to do with a sore?**

"Ate hem!" Samasa sad.

"I cant im a librul vogon now so ican only eat vegetas." Waryo said.

**Liberals are not all vegetarians. **

So Waryo was lose. It was a on-and-on fit betwine Samas and Marth.

**KICK HIS ASS!**

"give it up Samas u no libruls cant won."

**Yes they can.**

"never! BY THE POWAR OF LORD SANTA I SHALL BANESH U TOO SUBSPAS WORLD!"

**What?**

then a porthole openend an sucked. Math into subspas. The fite was over. The libruls had won.

**Go Liberals! I don't care what you support so long as you're against Sara!**

"wat did u do 2 my sun!" Snake said wen the match was over and marth didnt come back.

**He doesn't want to come back.**

"Ill never tell!" Samas said. She blowed me a kiss (witch I dogged) and waked away.

***Vomits in trash* This is a sick story.**

I was worred when Marth didnt come back. He still wasnt back for the tee party relay so I went with Clod Strafe insted. When I went to sleeped at nite I preyed for marth.

**He. Doesn't. Want. To. Come. Back.**

Then I lacked the widows and doors so Samas couldnt rap me wile I sleeped.

**She's not a rapist, bitch. She's apparently a rap artist.**

That nite I had horble nitmars that Math was farced too have gay sax with Satin and Bark Obameh.

**You are a very sick person.**

It was the scurrest thin ever!

**THIS, this story, is the scariest thing ever!**

* * *

**Chapter three is over**

**Leave a response to let us know what you thought**

**Give us YOUR opinion on the story we're reviewing**


	5. Chapter 4

Mary CHRISmes Eev everbuddy!

**Happy January 18th everyone!**

I hop the pepole who sad gopd thins abot my storey get what they want and the pepool who said bed thins donut.

**I like Donuts**

Hopfully ican finish anutter chaptar 2morow but its CRISmos (NOT HAPY HOLDAYS LIBRULS)

and I hav stuf with my famaly and then ill spend the knight at Laurens hose were well chang in2 are new close 4 each otter

**Wow, that doesn't sound awkward at all. Now, let's repeat that, Spades.**

**MC! Lets go buy clothes, go to my house, and change into them for each other!**

**Does that sound kind of...weird to you guys too?**

(I cant wate. Im shur shell be riley pritty).

**For someone who's such a homophobe, she really loves to talk about Lauren, nonstop.**

CHAP 4: THE SERCH 4 MATRH

**The whatthewho now?**

the next day all off the Christens in the Manshon were locking for maerth.

**Shall we pretend we understand what she's talking about?**

**Yes.**

He was still not back from were Samas put him.

**Oh yeah, that one dweed that she's obsessed with.**

I preyed and preyed

**She must be so fat. Or is this the sexual kind of prey?**

that we woud found him but he was nowere near the manshon.

**Obviously.**

I new I had to confont Samas about were Marth was but I new she woud try 2 rap me agen

***begins beatboxing***

***Begins rapping***

if I came along so I bringed Clod and Sonec and Maryo with me.

**What about Cloud, Sonic and Mario? Sonec can't be his evil twin, that's Scourge.**

Samas wasin bad with 4 womens and they were kissing and dong it to each otter.

**Good for her. Now get out.**

"discussing!" Maryo vomated.

**Maryo! It's disgusting to vomit when yelling Discussing! No one knows what your discussing about!**

"stop it Samas!" Sonec said.

"girls sholdnt do that 2 otter girls!" Clod said.

**Here is some words of wisdom: Love is love. Now shut the fuck up and mind your own business.**

"Sara! U must jonus and be gay!" Samas and the otter lesbamns said.

**So wait, is she in bed with a group of female otters?**

**Bestiality? **

"No! Im ten trillian percant strait!" I shatted.

**About as straight as curve.**

"ok then well gagrap u into been gay!"

**I'm sorry, but sexuality isn't something that's like a sickness. You can't become gay by contact with another guy or girl. **

**It's written by a homophobic bitch. What do you expect?**

**Some maturity and common sense.**

**Your asking for too much, Spades.**

Samas and the other lesbans got outta bad. Clod pulled out his gina sore and smucked a lesban with it. She flyed out the widow. Then Maryo shat furballs at anotter lesban and she burst into fame. They Sonce rolled into a bill to defete another one and I used my unbettable marital arts on the other one.

**Mary Sue~ Mary Sue~**

**Won't you drop dead?**

**Mary Sue~ Mary Sue~**

**How bout a jump off a bridge?**

**Mary Sue~ Mary Sue~**

**I got a bullet for you!**

Samas was bye herself.

"tellus were Marth is!" I smacked her.

"No!" Samas said. I started stroking her with lighting from my fingers like in Stair Was becuz one of the powers God gave me was tobe a yeti with the forc.

***RAGE MODE ACTIVE***

**RAHHHH! GRAHH!**

**...Well, MC has gone feral and rabid. Not only is she mentioning powers blessed upon her by God, but she's bringing Star Wars into it. Great.**

"Tell us now!"

"NECAR!" Samas said.

**NECAR: Never Ending Car racing!**

"Stop Sara ur 2 powerful if u keep atecking Samas shell die and than well never fond math!" Sonec said.

**GRRRRRR RAWR! **

**Translation: Sara is not too powerful.**

**Sara is such a Mary Sue.**

I new he had a pint so I stapped using lighting on Samas. We had 2 find someone eels who could find Marth. I preyed that God wood show me were Mart was.

**God! CAST HER OUT! PLEASE! WE'RE BEGGING YOU!**

"Sara! Mark is in Subspas!" I herd God say.

**Fictional God sucks. SARA HAS DESTROYED GOD! WE ARE SCREWED!**

"Thanks God!" I sad back.

"Were is Marth" Maryo said.

"Hes in Subspas!" I said.

"Oh no how did u no!" Samas sad. Clod hit her with his sord to knack her unconshus.

**GRRRR!**

"Not Subspas that place is terryfine!" Clod said.

**Grow a pair and suck it up!**

"But we havto Marth is in treble!" I said.

**He joined a choir apparently. **

"Well ned more people Snoop will want 2 cum too

**Pffft!**

save his son and Lonk and Ick are Marth's beast pals.

**Who?**

Zolta an Pech shuld came to and also Kerby and my bro Luweegee and Pete cuz hes an angle" Maro said. So we get everbuddy adn goto Subspas to fine Marth.

In Subspas were insanely atecked by Subspas stuff but we beet them.

**Way to be descriptive.**

Then we find Master Han and Crazy Hanes.

**Master Hand and Crazy Hand? Oh God! She has you too?!**

"Whatter u dong her" Mister Hans said.

"Weve cum

***Spades is currently on ground laughing***

2 find Marth" I said.

"No Sara u will dye!" Crazy Ham said. He tred to pinch me but I puled out my dads shitgun

**Hehehehehehehe! *Curls up laughing like a hyena***

**Oh shit! hahaha! I'm dying here!**

(its one of my specal movs no that im a smasher) and shat him until he ded. Than I did the sam to Master Hemp.

"Well dun but Marth is still mine" Tatu leder of Subspas came.

"ILL KILL U!" I said.

**You're doing it wrong! It's SILANCE! I KILL YOU!**

I tred too shat him but he took my gum away b4 I cold.

**Finally someone does.**

"Ha! U shuld no im a librul so I allways take teh gins away!"

**You know, I'm sick of this gun thing. This author is like 13 years old! She shouldn't care if there are laws made on guns!**

He said. I was rite I shuld have nown that. I tred my lighting buthe bloked it. Tehn I tred all my otter atecks.

**That she doesn't care to list or explain.**

"who r u dong this" I aked "my powers cum

**Spades. No.**

form GOD!"

"yes wile mine come from Satin."

**Fictional Satan Fictional God. Bad Fics have proven that he's more popular, and thus in the Bad-Fic world, he is stronger.**

**FYI: No, we are not supporting either sides in this fucked up story.**

"Bit Santana is weeker then God!"

**Music will always be stronger.**

"Yes but im alos the antichris!"

**Nope. Sorry, but that's Damian.**

"how r u relly" I said.

So Taboo roped of his musk and reveled that he was a bleck guy.

**Racist.**

But he was wering a soot not gane close so I new he culd only be presadent brock Obama!

**You racist little bitch!**


	6. Chapter 5

**We are so sorry for just now noticing this, but it seems doesn't like me during dual-review time. It likes to say that what I say is what M.C is saying by removing my underlines. I am _really_ sorry about that. So I went around and tried to fix it best I could**

STOP WRATING BAD THANGS ABOUT MY STOREY! If yall dont ill tell Lauren to beet u up

**Why can't you fight your own battles?** .

She rans crass country and plays batskeetball so shes in reel god shap (but she doesnt try to look manely or anythang becuz shes not a lesban and nether am I.

**You know, I don't have anything against Lauren, we got some new information about the author of this and Lauren and I kinda feel sorry for her (Lauren, not Sara)** **Oh well.**

We were makeup an nic close and put alota tim in r hare)

**And that has to do with sexuality? Let me have Spades here for example: Spades idea of nice clothes is a pair of jeans, shirt and a random hoodie. She never wears makeup if she can help it.** **True that, and lets not forget the cloak once I get a legitimate Attack on Titan cloak. Now, let's look at our friend *Censors name here* who is gay; She likes to wear skirts, wear nice and extremely cute clothes, makeup, and spends like twenty minutes on her hair. Moral of this tidbit: Clothing and hair do not make the sexuality.** .

Alos my bro is a senor lintbecker on the hi school fatball teem so he cold beet yall up even easer.

**Yeah, and guess what. My brother is in the air force, so who do you think would win in the fight between siblings?**

**The guy with the military training.**

Marry CHRISmass (NOY HAPY HOLEDAY) to the good people who wote good revews! (Im up erly becuz im so excite. I no ill get godo stuff this yer)

**I hope you get a bunch of coal.**

CHAO 5: SARA VERSAILLES OBABA

I stud infrant of Ibama, reddy too fite. He keeped taking about how he was the greetest evul 2 evar live and how he wood give my sole to Satin.

**I wouldn't mind selling my soul for satin, I love that fabric.**

I new I coldnt bet him in my curant stat, so I activated my finale smash.

**You know, we probably should have more information on the concept of Super Smash Bro's before doing this review.**

**The downside of both not being Nintendo players.**

"impassible! Noone can use there finale smash without a smash bell!" Brak Osama said. Now iwas moor powarfel then him and I quackly wan.

**Stupid story is stupid**

**Hey! That's my thing.**

"Ha! Your alredy to late!" he laffed evully and flyed away "i hided Marth somewere in the Grate Mase tho."

**Grate Mase, what's that?**

"im to late what dos that men" I said.

**That you are too late.**

**Simple as that.**

"idont no lets fine math" Kink said.

**Anyone who solves a math problem will be fined.**

So we all went in2 the Miz to find Marth.

**Oh, we should probably mention that we finally found out who the fuck Marth was the other day. Some prince.**

**So Sara is dating a prince. Ugh.**

We seerch all over and fote bats aganst bad people their. But Mark was nowere to be fond. We war about to give up wen we herd the sowd of a musial cumin form one of the dores we werent in yet. We open the door and saw that Marth was insid with Captan Futon and a buncha otter gay guys.

**He found freedom**

He was dress lik a dreg quin. He saw us and skiped over.

**It's the skip party.**

"ew, dad. Those are last moths shos" he sed to Snack.

**Isn't his dad Cornelius.**

Snak was wering last months shoos but Marth shuldnt no that. He also taked with a hi-patched vois witha lasp insted of his normel depp manely vois.

**Stereotypes. I hate stereotypes. **

Captan Fakkon skiped up to.

"thisis me bofrend captan facon" Mark sad. then I relized wat happen. Marth was turn gay!

**You mean he wasn't already?**

"NO NOT MY SUN!" Snarf said.

**Your sun is unharmed. Relax.**

"now wer gonna rap u an make yall gay to silly" Captan Vulcan said. Tehnb Mark an Captan Favan and all the otter gays in The Room skiped at us. I new they culdnt make me gay becuz only getting repad by lesbans turns gurls gay but it was still scury.

**Can we just stop reading this?**

Snale got ot his rockette luncher an shat rockettes at the gays and blowed a buncha them up but their wer to maney. Clod used a lamer brake to get rad of more gays. Zelda shat furballs and used the dimand sheld thin b4 turning into Shaq and using kun fu and ninja stuff. Link throwed his bonerang

**Bonerang**

**Great...now I'm thinking Boner and Aang. Thank you Sara, I just _wanted _that mental image. *Shudders***

and Ikr used his sord to held back the gays. Maryo and Loogey jamped on the gays heds to kill them. Peech throwed turdaps and Kerby hit them with his hummer. Sonec used supper sped ball on them and sence Pete is an angle he sant gays diretlay to hell usin the powar of God. Despit all these their war to many gays in The Room so we had too retret. Everbuddy ran out the dor expect Soldi Snak

"cum on Snaek!" I shatted.

**Hehe**

"no yall leve ill hild tem of they alredy got my sun I hav noting to liv 4" Snack

**Marth isn't your son you idiot.**

fired rockettes into the gays like a maidman wile ever1 elese ran out of the grate max. Soon more gays and lesbans and otter libruls started poring out of the other doors. We wer trap.

**Now death to the infidels!**

"ono" I said. I thout I wold be rapped into a lesban and then id hav too kiss girls and stop wering makeup and start wering flanel

**Oh no.**

***RAGE MODE ACTIVE***

**There is nothing wrong with Flannel! I love Flannel! I hate makeup! THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A LESBIAN!**

and id only shop at homs deepo insted of gud storks.

**Okay, there is nothing wrong with Home Depot. This girl is just so...argh! I don't think I've ever hated someone as much as I hate her! How come no one has killed her yet because of her personality?!**

**If she doesn't grow up soon, trust me, she'll end up one of those people murdered that no one gives a shit about.**

Butthan mister han

**What?**

and crazie hen flyed out of the sky.

**Didn't they die?**

"hirry! Well crary u2 safe!" Masterham said. I new that God sent them to save us from the gay librusl.

**Didn't you kill them?**

They take us back 2 teh Manshan. I was gong to find Samas and beet her up 4 sending Marth to Subspas were he turd gay but she wasnt in the manshan she was shoping at helms deep becuz shes a lesban.

**RAGH! **

**I think she may be more of a High Blood then I am.**

Since Math was gay no I went on a dat with Link insted. We eat at chickfila (Ha! Take that gays!) and then saw a movie.

**Wow, can you say whore much?**


	7. Chapter 6

**Sup guys, just me for the next few chapters. Spades is sick, so she will be updating the Starkits Prophecy from home. Hope she gets better, this is a bit more fun with two in my opinion.**

I fond out that Laurens sister in collage voted 4 sum guy named garry jonson (wonder if hes relative 2 mr jonson)

**Johnson is a common last name**

insted of matt ramnoy in the erection.

***Snickers* some of these spelling errors are just fun.**

That mad me relly upsat but Lauren sed it was ok becuz romni still won soth caroline (were I live) and I gess shes rite. Lauren looked relly pretty in her new crismas close and she said idid to and im gled I got to sped the nite at her hous.

Also yall need to stop saiyan bad thans about my storey, libruls! Also im not a slot ima CHRISTEN!

**You're a Christian slut.**

CHAP 6: THE CONSART

thew next day all the conserbatovs wer sad that March and Snak were gay libruls now (Snak evan chaned his nam frum Soiled Smock to Solendra Snaef).

**What?**

Mastre Hanes saw this and so he skeduled a hug consort

**Nah, a consort joke is to easy.**

4 us. He called lots of relly great people like Bard Palsy and Tobe Ketrh and Care Underwode and Honk Willems Junor and Tod Nougat and Justyn Bebur

**Who is being deported for a drug bust. That's right everyone, Justin Beiber is being kicked out of America.**

and On Directon and a buncha other people. And beast of all he got TALER SWIFT to cum.

**Okay, that just sounds wrong, but funny!**

Tailer Swuft is my favorit musec person and I relly lick her alot

**And you're not gay? I think it you lick another girl a lot, it calls for some questions.**

BUT NOT IN THAT WAY BECUZ IM NOT A LESBAN

_**Sure.**_

just as a frend. I was gong to were my best red dress for the consart. I had my hare dun up nice and put on some reed lipstake an sum eyeliner and eye shadoo. And I put on my best hi hells.

I walked through the manshan but than I saw Samas but Lin was their to protract me so she didnt rap me. She walked the otter way but drapped a notbook. I piced it up and red the cover. It sad "SECRETE PLANE 2 MAEK TAILAR SWOFT MY LESBAN LUVER."

**I have no problems with this. Mainly because I just don't care.**

That fightened me alot becuz Tailer Swift is my favaret muzican and if she was turned into a lesban than shed rite sons with secrete backwerds massages that turn people gay

**Music doesn't work that way.**

(my parents said that hevy medal muzic alreddy does sumthing like this to turn people into Stanists).

**It's sad that people think that.**

I red the plane and new I had to stop it. So I caled Tayler Swift becuz I have her privates numner.

**Liar!**

"Hi Sara" she said "im lookin ford to seen u et my consort."

"SAMAS IS GUNA RAERP U AND TURN U INTO A LESBAN!" I scrammed into the fone.

**No need to scream!**

"Uno!" she said, "i ned more budygards!"

So she hanged up so that she cold hir some budygords. Later I went to the consort with Lnik and lessened to the muzak. I saw that Tailar Swift had mor buddygurds now including Radley from Samas Game. She was the hedlane of the consort so she was on last. She was in the maddle of signing "Luv Storey"

**Ugh, I hate Taylor Swift to be honest.**

(mine and Laurens favorit of her sons. We lissen 2 it 2tegeter al the tim. I no ill find a guy to lissen 2 it with sumday).

**Good luck, I don't think there are that many guys who like Taylor Swift.**

"Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come. Is this in my head? I don't know what to think. He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said..." Tailer Swift sang.

Suddanly Samas stod up.

"IM GUNNA RAP U TAYLAR SWAFT!" she began ranning 2 the stooge.

**Way to blurt it all out.**

Lotsa bodygards tred to stap her but a buncha gay guys including Mart and Snick and Captan Facon roped them 2 turn them gay. Luckly Rudley cold fly so he grapped Tayler Soft and carred her out of Samas clatches.

Wen Samas got too the stag Tad Nuget grabed his asalt ruffle and shat her like a billion times. Wile she was destracted by that Tobe Keeth sneaked up behind her and shaved a boat up her ass

**What?**

(sorry for swering. I prayed for fergivness from God for tiping that) like in my favoretest sing of his. Than the otter muzakans ran over and beet Samas with there instraments until she was unconshus and then the polite came and throwed her in prisan (unfortunetly they toke her 2 womans prism so she culdnt be reaped becuz shes alredy a lesban).

**I think we need to take Sara to prison.**

Once allthe gays were scarred off Ridlay came back with Talar Sweft and she famished her consort.

After it was dun all the musicans gave autotrophs to me and the other smashers. Talar Swift gave me the bigest best autotroph of all time becuz I warned her about Samas.

"Ur my bettest frend" Taylir Swut said (off coarse Lauren is my BFF but I didnt want to hart Taylers felons by tellin her that).

**Why would Taylor like a bitch like you?**

Wen the consort was ovary and the muzikans laft I wenton anotter dat with Link.

**I find it funny that in less then a day of having her boyfriend Marth turned gay, she is going out with Link**


	8. Chapter 7

I loked up wat a Marisoo

**What's a Marisoo?**

**Mario plus soo?**

was and I thenk this chapper will prov that Sara isn't **It wont.** won so all of u libruls wil have 2 make up now ways 2 ignor the TRUTH in my storey. **What truth? I see no truth!** **Don't lie to her Sara, she has a bat.**

CHAP 7: FEETBALL GAEM

**I think you got it wrong. **

the next day Link waked me up an told me that the No Yirk Jet were playin agenst the Hirool Fotball team that day.

**So...the Jets are playing against the nonexistent Hyrule football team? Anyone going to question how the Jets got into Nintendo?**

"The Ne wYok Jars?!"

**New York has jars? Jars?!**

I said. They were my favorte footbal teem even tho I liev in Suth Carelyna becuz they have Tim Tibo playin 4 tham

**I'm more of a Vikings fan.**

and hes relay awsom and a Christen. I used 2 lik the Danver Brikos becuz they had Teboo

**So, you don't have a favorite team, just a favorite player. You suck at team loyalty.**

but than they get rad of him prolly becuz there couch was a gay librul soshalest or sumthin.

**I'm pretty sure that's not why they had to get rid of him.**

**Why do you always call anyone you don't like a gay liberal?**

"And I hav sum tikets" Linj said.

"Yay! We ned 2 go" I sade.

"Absalootly Nit!" Mister Hem said, flaying don the hale.

**I agree with him.**

"wynaut" I said.

**Wynaut?**

**She became a Pokémon?**

"becuz we nede 2 fite maches 2day and allso im brotesh so I thank socer is football becuz king jorge the turd was a America-hating commanst who hated America and name socker fetball in enguld so thet reel footbal cant be in brutishland."

**Another failure in history.**

**I take this as an insult because I like soccer. **

I strummed off becuz Master Han was been such a jurk! He ran aftar me.

**Ran?**

**He has legs? Why weren't we informed?**

"But theirs sumthin eels 2day. Sinc Samas is in prisan now we neded anew smasher to replac here." Just than Crazy Hanie flewed up and withim was LAUREN!

**NO!**

**Well Lauren isn't as bad as Sara, she just brainwashed the poor girl like she did with the other Smashers.**

**I say we hunt Sara down after this is all over.**

"Hey gurl!" Lauren said. We higged each other.

"3" I said.

**I just love to say numbers as greetings!**

"Shell be stay in ur rom becuyz Samas had losts of lesban sax on her bed so she prolly dont wanna slip their" Crapy Hans sad.

**So they had Lauren a room already before even deciding to bring her?**

"Yay! Were romies!" I charred.

"No teem up 4 ur first mach 2day" Mister Hens said "u will fite Math and Captan Fukton.

**You know what I think whenever I see her type 'fukton' instead of Falcon?**

**Fuck Ton?**

**Exactly.**

Goto the studiem nao."

I was sad that I had 2 fite Marth even tho I was dating Link. I still had felons 4 Mark.

**So, you went to jail multiple times for Marth.**

I told Lauren abot this.

"Its ok im her" she huged me agen and I falt beater.

**Watch out! She's in an abusive mood!**

We want 2 the mach agenst Marth and Capten Fulcone.

**Captain Matress! Kick their ass!**

Wen we got 2 the stag they wer havin gay sax onit. I throwed up and so did Lauren and so did all the otter Christen watchen. Tehn the frat begun.

**Can you say weak stomach?**

"Ew! Ur fashon sanse is like so bid" Marth said.

**It probably is.**

"Liar!" I sad. Both Lauren and me allways had the best close ever.

**Doubt it, nothing can ever compete with a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.**

Marth tred 2 hit Lauren with his sord but she dogged it. Even tho Lauren did not have powars frum God, neither Marth nor Capetn Falcan were fat enuf 2 hit her.

**The only way to beat her is to be obese. **

I didnt evan have 2 us my powars in the fite.

**Really? I doubt it.**

Lauren was that guds on her one that I barely evan hed 2 do anytin. She basecly wan the fit buy herself (c Sara cant be a marsu if theres sum1 batter then her).

**That doesn't mean she's not a Mary Sue**

**It does mean she was super lazy in this fight.**

"this gaems winnar red teem" the narater sade.

Lauren and me hagged agen wen we won. After a few more fites (wich we alos won) we were dun 4 the day. Aftar we wer don we went 2 r rom and Laurens stuf was alredy their. We massed the fettbill gam but we saw that the Jers won and Tom Tebo scared a buncha pants.

**Good to know he scares pants.**

I called him 2 congradulat him (I had his privet fone nomber)

**Wrong!**

**You can not have a celebrity's private number!**

and than LAuren and me went 2 slap.

**Slapfight!**

We slipped in the only bed but NOT IN A LESBAN WAY WE SLEP IN THE SAM BAD AL THE TIM BUT WERE STRATE

_**Suuuuuure.**_

WE WERE NISE CLOSE AND MAKUOP AND PUT EFFART IN R HARE AND DONT TRY 2 LOK MANELY!

**Okay, the clothes don't make the sexuality. Lesbians don't have to look manly to be gay. **

The next day Lauren started dating Ike

**NOOOO!**

and they want on a dooble dat with Me and Limk. We wrent 2 Chickfela agen becuz they opos the gay agands.

**I never liked that place.**


	9. Chapter 8

I loki up the defanation of "troll" an I jus have 2 say that its tipecal librul behavor to just call me a troll

**Uh, no, it's not.**

**Do you even know what a liberal is? They're basically people who are willing to accept new perspectives and ideals.**

**The author is an R-word, she wont understand.**

because yall dont wanna accept that everytrthing I say is tru and u libruls are wrong and agenst God himself.

**I'm sorry, but I think God is against people like you who want to destroy and hurt everyone who disagrees with you. Yeah, you're more like Ebony than you know.**

Yall refuse to accept that any1 has a difring oponion frum u

**Um, I'm pretty sure that's you.**

becuz if u do that then yule hav 2 accept that ur opinyon is wrung.

**Opinions can't be wrong, idiot.**

U R Text

**U R Nt Getng a TXT frm us.**

CHAP 8: SAMAS BRAKES OUTTA PRISAN

**What kind of prisan?**

Lauren an Me had lotsa fun and wan alota maches over the naxt weak. Havin her in tha manshon was the best thin ever. We also went on a tun of dobbie dates with r boyfrens Like and Ink.

**Ugh, never trust Like. Never.**

**Don't take my ink!**

On dya I was bye myself tho and walking around the manshon. I had the day off becuz Lauren was teeming with Ike and Link had a 1-an-1 mach agents Ganandalf. I was walking past a buncha door an stuf. Than Zelda waked up to me.

**Hello Princess Zelda. Please, She fucked up Link, stop her!**

"Hi Sara" she said. She was starring at my shirt. I was wearing a pink tank top that staryed out blake but then I took alota glitter and spel "Obama Sux" onit.

"Lick my shit?" I said.

**Ew! Ew ew ew ew ew!**

"yes. Thats why I was luking their" Zelda said she loking bak at my fase "lets go2 my rome"

**Obvious lie is obvious.**

"OK" I said. I fellowed Zelda 2 her room. Wen we want inside the room was dirk

**DONT! DONT BRING A STRIDER INTO THIS! HE IS TO COOL FOR YOU! **

and I herd the dore slum behind me.

"hai their pretty gurl" I recognized the vois imedietly. It was SAMAS ERIN!

**Oh, it's Samas Erin.**

**So long as it isn't Samus Aran we don't care-wait...FUCK!**

But she was supposed 2 b in prism.

"But ur supose 2 be in prisan" is aid.

**It can't hold her! NO PRISON CAN HOLD HER!**

"I braked out" she said. It was my worstest feer. I new she wuld evantully be pardanned by Bareck Obaka but I hopped the wasingtan burowcrasy wuld dely her pardan lon enuf 4 a Republeken too be elect or for Obamuh 2b impech.

**You would have to wait two years and he's not going to be impeached.**

I didnt except 4 Samas to brake out.

**You didn't expect her to break out? Of couse she's going to break out!**

"Zelda we ned to ran" but Zelda was bloking the door "whats gone on?"

**How dumb is this girl.**

"U didnt figar it out yet?" Zelda said. She runned ovary and stated to ripe off my close and she kissed me.

**NO! ZELDA!**

**What about Link?! ZELDA!**

"Ono ur a lesban now" I sad, puling away. Howevar Samas grabed me form behind and than started ribbing my butte.

"Yes I am sexay Sara" Zelda toched my brass.

"I turmed her into my luver when I return from prisan" Samas whispared in2 my eer.

**This is just...awful...**

"And son yule

**Yule Ball.**

be a lesban to" Zelda whaspered in my otter era.

"No ples no" I said "i dont wanna be a lesban. Ima Christen! Sumbuddy Halp!"

**Religion has nothing to do with sexuality.**

**That is why I worship the Enkindlers.**

**Your only doing that because you feel ashamed to say 'god' because of this story.**

"Noone can here u. We mad sure every1 els was in the stadiem" Samas said.

"God can her me" I said.

**God: *vacationing in Hawaii* I cant hear anyone now, yay!"**

"Ha! Im an athist librul now! I dont beleve in God anymor!" Zelda said.

**Well, Din, Nayru and Farore are going to be pissed.**

"Yes now we both warship Satin!" Samas said.

**They are going to be _very _pissed.**

"Just becuz u dont beleve inhim doesnt meen hes nor reel" I sade.

**I find it just depressing that a girl who claims to love her religion so much doesn't even know the difference between Atheist and Satanist.**

**Atheist: The disbelief in any supernatural deity, be it God, Satan, Farore, Enkindlers.**

**Satanist: The worship of Satan.**

"Well I used my magik combined with the pwoar of Santa and Barak Obema to seel the door to this room" Zelda said "lik it or not yule be a lesban sun!"

**I don't care anymore!**

**Just turn her gay so this story can end!**

I runned into the coroner of Zeldas room.

"Sty back!" I sad, praperd fora fit.

**Yes, prepare for it. They're going in dry.**

**And you say _I _have a gutter mind.**

"Been a lesban isnt sumthin to be afeared of Sara" Zelda said "Im hapy now that Samas and I r dating."

**That is very good for you.**

"It doesnt matter how hapy u r. Its an abomasnow!" I sed

**Their love is a Pokémon. I want that.**

"God hats u 4 it!"

**Your brainwashed god can suck it.**

"Beleve me yule be hapy 2 wen u becom 1 of us" Samas said.

"Maybe ucan turn Lauren into a lesban than u 2 can dat eachodder" Zelda said.

**Oh the Ship has been sailing since she was first mentioned.**

"No! Id never do that to my best fren!" I said "she may be the prettest gurl evar but we ned 2 goto hevan not hell.

**Oh, you're not going to Heaven after writing this abomination.**

**You'll be lucky if you get to Hell.**

WERE CHRISTENS NOT LESBANS!"

"Not 4 long" Samas and Zelda said in unisan.

**Unison Raid!**

**Lets dance!**

As the 2 lesbans aproched me I was more scarred than id evar ben in my life. Al I culd do was prey and prey

**The eating prey?**

**Or sexual prey?**

that sum1 came to my rescue. Did I mak it out safe or did Samas and Zelda tune me in2 a lesban athist librul? Find out in the next chaptar!

**Well obviously she made it out safe. I mean come on, is this bitch going to kill of herself? She's too self centered too.**

**She isn't doing very well to hold up the ideals of a Christian, being kind, accepting, etc, etc.**


	10. Chapter 9

So u libruls kep callin me a troll? I aint a troll! IMA CHRISTEN!

**There is no rule that says you can't be both. But now I'm doubting your a true Christian.**

As allways thank all yall who worte god revews! U r good Christens and I prey that good thjins happen 2 u evary

**You know, I'm going to call her Tara 2.0. She is just as bad as an author as Tara, maybe even worse.**

CHAP 9: SARA ESCAPS

**Sadly.**

So I was cowing

**Cowing? Is that sort of like kitting?**

**Sara is giving birth to cows. I can see that.**

in the cornor of Zeldas rome preying and preying 2 God 2 sav me frum becaming a lesban.

**He's on vacation you selfish bitch.**

"SNAPE OUTTA THIS ZELDA!

**Don't bring Snape into this!**

U R A CHRISTEN!

**No she's not. The Golden Goddesses. **

REMEMBER WEN WE FOTE BOOZER AND FALCOR AND LATER U TEEMED UP WITH ME 2 TRY 2 SAV MARTH EVER THO IT DIDNT WORK?" I said.

**And I stole your boyfriend as soon as Marth was gay.**

"Yes u wer relly sexay in ur red dress that day Sara" Zelda said "u make me wanan rap u evan mor!"

**Samus made Zelda her rap apprentice.**

**That might just be cooler then Banes rapping scene.**

"No go away!" I said. But Zelda and Samas keeped slowly approching me loking as deductive

**What does a deductive look even look like?**

**Its a look that says they've deducted something?**

as passible. All I cold do was prey and prey and prey.

**And continue to confuse us by what you mean by prey.**

Then I had an idiom.

**Or was it a metaphor?**

"So Zelda am I pretier then Samas?" I sajd.

"OFF COARSE NOTE!" Zelda sad.

"Dame rite she aint" Samas culd swer becuz shes a lesban and goin 2 hell aneway.

**Um, I swear, I swear all the time. I'm pretty sure swearing isn't against the Bible.**

**She spoke like a sailor in freshman year.**

Than Samas and Zelda lusfully loked in eachodders eyes and prassed there lucas lips togetter. B4 lang they ware crassing eachotters subtitle beasts. It was a discussing abomnation

**Their boobs are discussing the abomination that is Sara?**

**Tara 2.0, not Sara.**

but at lease they werent dong it 2 me. Evantully they forgote I was their so I sneaked 2 the door but itwas still seel! I tred to kick the door and scram 4 halp but it was a relly stron seel and sondprof.

**And the two didn't hear her I bet.**

So I went bak into the corner curred up in a fatal positron and preyed sum moor.

**Seriously? You are a pathetic example of strong women! I would have attacked Samus! Fists a flying! Boob punch them!**

I was abot to gave up hop wen the door braked down. It was LAUREN AND LINK AND IKE!

**No! No! and No!**

"God gabve us a massage so we came!" Lauren said. I ranned over 2 Lauren and huged her and crayed.

**God, why?**

**God forsake us when Tara 2.0 wrote this. **

"They wer gone 2 turn me into a lesban!" I sad.

"Its ok im here" Lauren rubed my hare as a frend.

**As apposed to rubbing her hair as her master.**

"Zelda! Wh lesban now?" Link was clergy very sad abot this.

**This is your fault Link. You weren't there to protect your princess, you were to focused on being with Sara that you failed your princess. You failed.**

"Becuz I raepd her" Samas said.

"Than u well dye!" He drawed his sord.

**if only it was that simple.**

"No Link wen gayz and lesbans have sax they charg up with the powar of Satin and Barak Ovama! There 2 powarful rite now!" Ike sad

**Seriously?**

Samas and Zelda gut outta Zeldas bed and rane at us. Lukly Lauren brot a crust which she hald up so that the lesbans hissed and backed away

**So, they can't be near crust? WEAK.**

and we 4 Christens cold escap.

**That escape was freezing.**

Later we went on anotter doble date 2 chikfela. Link was sad that his frend Zelda

**His Princess, not just his friend.**

was an evul lesban now so we all chered him up bye goin 2 the movie he wanted 2 see afterword.

**If you get cheered up that easily then just wow.**

The next day Link and I wer walking down the jhall

**J'hall. **

wen Zelda bloked ar path. She had her hare cute vary short and wasnt wering makup anymor

**I'm pretty sure that they can still wear makeup.**

and was wereing a plad flanel shirt and paints insteed of a dress.

**Sounds like she has a day full of physical but fulfilling manual labor ahead of her.**

"DONT RAP ME ZELDA!" I sade.

**I wanna hear her rap!**

"Im nut her 4 u thes tim Sexay Sara" Zelda sed.

"Than why r u here?" I said.

**Yes, why?**

"Link as u no im the princess of Hirole so I mad a new law" she said "STRAITNESS IS NOW ILLEGAL! U WILL HAV 2 MARRY GANANDORF OR GOTO PRISAN!"

**I like this law, it's funny!**

I gasped! How wode Link and I fine or way outta this one!

**Well, he could always go to prison.**


	11. Chapter 10

Thank u 2 everone who gave good revews. And all the athist libruls who say bad thins need 2 stop dong thet.

**We won't stop until you stop being an idiot.**

Im relly excite agen becuz Lauren is coming 2 my jhous for new yatrs. Its alweys relly fun wen im with her and I fel relly good. She is my BFF forever and I adorn her with every fibber of my bean

**every fiber of your bean? Wow.**

CHAP 10: LINK RENONCES HIS CITZENSHAP

"NO I WILL NOT MARRY GANENDORF!" Link sed.

**I wouldn't marry him either to be honest.**

"Than yule go 2 prism!" Zelda said "the weddings 2marow so be their. I ned 2 go to Hom Depo with my girlfren Samas now tho so im leving."

**Home Depot isn't that bad of a store.**

Zelda blowed me a kiss and than she laffed evully and than she left.

"wat shuld we do!" I said.

**Get out of Nintendo so everything goes back to normal.**

"well im not gonna marry Ganandarf!" Link sad "I luv u so much! And im not gay and nether r u."

**I'm not so sure about Sara.**

"rite" I new Link wasnt gay and even mor then that I new I wasnt a lesban.

**Well, that isn't helping to deny that you aren't one.**

If any yall think ima lesban then I shuld let u no im 100 percant not and nether is Lauren.

**You're just making it worse every time you mention Lauren.**

Since I was alredy thinking abot Lauren I new we shuld ask her wat 2 do now.

**Lauren: Jump off a cliff.**

"why dosnt Link just renonc his Hirole citzenshap" Lauren sed wen we fond her.

**He did that the moment he swapped religions and became a Christian and ignored the Goddesses. Seriously, they are pissed. I guess Link can lose his title as Hero and all too now.**

"Gud idea" I sad.

"It hirts me 2 do this becuz im saposed 2 be the protractor of hirole" Link said

**You failed.**

**Badly.**

"but noting can protract them from Gods devin wreath now that theres so much gayness their"

"ok so that saddles that"

**Is there a horse here?**

I sade "but we ned 2 do sumthin abot all thes gays and lesbans in the manshon."

**Why not move?**

**To a volcano.**

"I no wecan rappel them with a kriss.

**A Kiss?**

But thats only a temprary soluble becuz if any Christens r cot with there gard don theyll be rap in2 mor gays and lesbans" Lauren sed.

**Rapping turns people gay. I guess.**

"I wish makin people strait Christens was that easy!" I said.

**You can't change sexuality.**

"If it was that easy God wodnt have 2 sand u" Link said.

**He shouldn't have sent you in the first place!**

We gathered a mating of all the remaning Christen Consertatives in the Manshon. Everbuddy got a buncha mor crasses. Than we all mad sure 2 lack r dors and widows at nit so no 1 cold brake in and rap us wile we slep

**I'm sure that if someone rapped to me while I was asleep, I would wake up.**

(thats wen Samas got Zelda. She want 2 bed a Strat Christen Consarvetav and waked up a lesban athist librul)

**...**

**...**

. We new we had 2 prepar 4 whatever Satin and Osbama had plened. It was prolly sumtrhinh vary evul.

**Satan: *Sneeze* What?! I'm in the process of making a new breed of geese!**

Wen Zalda and Samas got back frum the manshon we told her that Link was renoncing his citzenshape.

"I excepted this" Zelda sad "so I writed up anotter marrege cirtefikat. Now Ton Link must marry Ganindalf."

"NO HES MY BRUTHER!" Link said.

**I don't think they're brothers. Are they?**

"Its 2 late. Hes not old enuf 2 renunce his citzenshop and I declard myslef his legel garden so I wont do it 4 him. The wadding is 2morow and theres noting u can do 2 stop it."

**Good job Link.**

Zelda blowed me a kiss and walked away.

"We ned 2 stap this weeding!" I sed.

**Why not just have Link get married, its not that big of a sacrifice.**

"I no!" Link sid.

We gathered the Christens 2getter to thank up a plane.

**I don't think you can get planes that way.**


	12. Chapter 11

Why dose everone think ima lesban?

**Because how you talk nonstop about Lauren.**

How meny tims do I hav to say im not a lesban IMA CHRISTEN!

**So?**

Lauren and I r jus frends and noting has EVAR happen like that. Lauren is a pretty girl but I dont like girls that wat and nether dos she. I hed 2 tak a brake frum riting becuz I was so hurt by ur accuzations

**No one cares.**

**I'm happy you're hurt by them.**

CHAP 11: TEH WADDING

**Wedding Bells Thaw.**

The next day wuz the weeding

**An Extreme Gardening club.**

betwin Tone Link and Ganondalf.

***Shuders* The age diff...**

It was in the tempo of tim in hirole.

**A great...wedding place?**

**It's basically ruins...**

All of the Christens wer their becuz Poon Link neded molar support.

**I say he needs more than moral support.**

Also we wer gonna stap the weding. Gangnamdorf was alredy gay so he was wering a weding dress with a wite vale

**THE IMAGES! *Shudders***

**I...oh Enkindlers...**

and Bozor was waking him don the isle. Ton Lenk was wering a taxemo.

**Tuxedo Mask: I think that taxemo is mine.**

Ther was a athist pastor wading at the alter.

**Kind of redundant isn't it?**

I wor a nice dress but not my best one becuz I didnt aprov of the weeding.

**It doesn't matter if you approve or not. Why not wear a suit or something?**

Lauren loked relly petty but I didnt want 2 kiss her becuz im not a lesban.

**Suuuuure.**

Wen Gandalf retched the alter the athist pastor began taking.

"Were gathared her 2day 2 jon thes 2 in UNholy mantramoney. If any1 objects 2 this onion speck

**I object to this onion speck!**

now or forevar hold ur piece" the athist pastor sed.

I pulled out ny dads shitgun

**Pffft.**

and shat the athist pastor. He dyed insanely.

**Did he die spazzing and laughing like a madman?**

"No! Ur failing my plane!" Zelda sed.

**You failed my plane! You get an F for piloting!**

Suddenly everyone pulled out there wepons and Link runned over and garbed his brother away from Ganandorf.

**Not his brother.**

All the normel people wer ejaculated

**...Mental images. **

***Laughing like a madwoman.***

out of the tempal of tim wile the Christen smashers including Lauren and me strayed 2 fite the libruls.

**Fighting in a dress has to be uncomfortable.**

**Why would anyone fight in one?!**

It was the greetest battal I evar fot in. Lauren and me killed like a lot of gays and lesbans

**For such a 'Loyal Christian' you sure don't pay attention to the Ten Commandments. Spades.**

**"Thou Shall Not Kill."**

**And according to that, Lauren and Sara are going to hell.**

that began poring in wen we stapped the weding. Link was fiting Gamondirf.

"ho dar u stap my wedding Link!" Ganandarf sad. He punked Link reptadetly.

**He is an ace prankster. I didn't know that.**

Then he kiked Link with his hi hells. I new I had 2 sav my bofrend. I shat Ganpndorf with my dads shitgun

**Why?! WHY! I don't know if she's seriously talking about a shitgun or a shotgun anymore!**

but it didnt kill him becuz he has like magic powars and stuff. It gut his atention tho and he runned over to me and tred 2 fite me. I used my supper strenth 2 through him threw a wall and than shat him agen

**,,,,,**

evan tho it still didnt do anythin. It was fun tho.

**You are a sinner.**

"U insolvent FOOL!" Ganandarf sed. He riped off his wedingf dress and ther was his armoire underneth.

**Now that I can see.**

**I can see it too. Funny image.**

He flayed up into the are and fired a magic blust at me lik in the gam macarena of tim.

**I doubt you've played it now.**

I defrocked it bak at him. It hit him and he felled don. Than Lauren runned over and nocked him unconshus. I looked arond and sawed that all of the othar libruls were unconshus 2. R plane worked!

**Your plan sucked.**

We coldnt call the polite 2 arest the libruls becuz we wer in Hirole and Zelda was the riler and she was a lesban now so we just had 2 leve.

**I think the Police should arrest you.**

Frist we returned 2 the Manshan and mad sure Toin Link was ok. Once we did that, Lauren and me went on a doble dat 2 chickfila with r boyfrends.

**Still hate that place.**

We told everone ther abot the gay weding we stopped and their were hi fives al around.

**They were also high at the time.**


	13. Chapter 12

**I still can't believe we're twelve chapters in.**

**I still can't believe our brains are still intact.**

Why exectly dose everbuddy thank that Lauren an Me r lesbans?

**Because of how you go on and on about her.**

Iv sad like a thosand tims that we ant. Weve nevar hed sax!

**Well, I'll fix that. Here's a saxophone. *Throws a sax at Sara***

We both were makup and put efirt in r hare and dont try 2 lok manely

**That has to do with it how?**

**I feel...I feel personally insulted. **

and r relly pretty and the 1 tim my dad tok me to hom depo I thot it was boaring and hatted it their!

**Just like how I feel in any store that's just for clothes. **

Lauren had 2 comfart me (NAT WITH LESBAN SAX!)

**You said it not us.**

wen I telled her ur lyes abot us! STAP LAYING YALL!

**It's not lies. You need to stop lying to yourself and just come out of your closet.**

CHAP 12: THE 4 HOARSEMANS

It was a few dyas aftar the wreding and everone was still scarred form the experyance.

**Come on!**

**It wasn't that bad!**

Me and Lauren were waking don the hall han an han with R BOFRENS LONK AND ICK.

**What happened to Link and Ike? YOU TWO ARE CHEATERS!**

Wen we want passed one rome we herd voises cumin from inside. I opaned the door and saw sum TV screans that wer all showing the sam thin. In Subspas World, Barak Osama was talking 2 STAN HIMSLEF!

**And you have cameras broadcasting what's happing in their evil lair of evil how?**

**Plot device.**

"Zeldas atampt 2 mary Ton Link 2 Ganandorf falled!" Satin sad.

**Obviously.**

"I no! It wasnt my falt! It was Jorge W. Boshs falt (becuz Ubama alwas blams Bosh 4 his fallures)"

**No he doesn't.**

**I think you need to stop listening to the rumors.**

Bork Ogama said.

**Oh it's just Bork Ogama, not Barack Obama, so it's all good.**

"Its tim we sumun r ultamet wepons! The 4 wurst comanasts in all of histary! The 4 hoarsemans of the alpacalips jus liek in the Bibal!" Satin said.

**Are things going to get awesome? **

**Conquest, War, Famine, and Death. Sara, you better not fuck this up.**

Satin opaned a porthole an the four mos terble comanists

**The fuck is a comanist?**

in allof histary came on at a tim. The firts comanst was Adulf Hitlur.

**Oh, maybe War in disguise? Maybe Conquest?**

**I think he's Death.**

He was the president

**I think you mean Dictator, there wasn't a 'president' in Germany.**

of Germeny during one of those world war thins.

**Oh COME ON! 'One of those world war things'?! IT WAS ONLY THE WORST WAR IN HISTORY!**

He was a leftwang excrement who killed consertatives in conservation camps.

**Oh FUCK YOU! He murdered _JEWS _not Conservatives you selfish bitch! **

Wen America defeeted him he channed the nam of Germeny 2 the Saviet Onion and fot us agen in the coald war.

**One; Hitler died in April, 1945, WW2 ended, or at least Germany surrendered in May 8, 1945. I might be off on the dates but Hitler died before WW2 ended.**

**2, The Soviet Union was _RUSSIA _not _GERMANY. _The Cold War was the Second Red Scare and no one fought! It was just tension!**

**How do you fuck up history on World War 2?!**

The naxt comanast came out dong the Ganon Style dance. He was Charmen Moa.

**Um...Famine?**

Charmans Mow was the presadent of Asia 4 awile.

**Okay, Asia is a continent NOT a country! Mao was chairman of China if you're talking about the person I'm thinking of.**

First he boned perl habor so we nuked him

**That. Was. _Japan._**

than he chaned his nam 2 Charlie 4 sum resin and fot my grandpa in Vetnam.

**I hope your grandpa lost just because your fucking up history.**

Wen he did his lesban dotter Kimmy Jonquil tok ovar as presadent but than she died 2 recantly I thenk.

**I don't know who your talking about but your probably wrong.**

The next comanst was King Jorge the Thard.

**King George the Third?**

Like I sad erlier he was the resin that socar is called fotbal in Britishland

**Britishland.**

**...**

***Demon Mode Active***

**Spades, calm down, I know your angry but she's not worth ripping apart into a bloody mess.**

so that reel fotball dosent get plaid their. Also he was the king of british two thosand yers ago wen Jesas and Jorge Wussinton

**They. Were. Not. From. The. Same. Era.**

**You know what, for someone who claims to love God so much, you fucking suck at knowing anything!**

teemed up 2 fond America. King Jorge crusifed Jesas but than Jorge Wasinton killed him 2 make America free and becam the first presadent.

**FUCK YOU.**

The last comanast was sumon I new very wall. It was MR JONSON!

**Who is dead!**

Mr Jonson is my sinance teecher and hes an athist who trys 2 shave evilusion don r throts.

**He has to teach evolution because he's a teacher you bitch!**

Also hes givin Becky a beter grad in his clas prolly becuz shes an athist 2 and a lesban (she sad shes a femanast wich is the sam thin).

**THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING YOU BITCH! *Lunges towards screen but held back by MC***

Hes the wurst teecher evar

"Gesunhate ("Hello" in Germen) Lord Satin!" Hitlur sad.

"Konichywa ("Hello" in Asian) Lord Satin!" Charmans Moo said.

"Ello guvnuh. Bluddy hall, u wankar! (thats how they talk in Britishland)" King Jorge said.

**NO ITS NOT!**

**I have to agree with her. Bloody is used as a negative word and wanker is an insult if I have this right.**

"Hello my Master Lord Satin!" Mr Jonson said.

I new that all of us Christens wer in sirius treble if we had 2 fite thes 4 comanasts. I returned 2 my room 2 prey to God that I cold defeet them wen they showed up.

**DIE YOU BITCH! BURN IN HELL! *Breaths fire* I WILL KILL YOU SARA!**

**Don't worry everyone. This is just an average Demon Mode, more or less.**


	14. Chapter 13

**Warning: Spades is still in Demon Mode. But enjoy the 2 in 1 update. Next chapter will be out sometime this weekend.**

Sum of u libruls r gettin upsat abot the TRUTH in my storey.

**WHAT TRUTH?**

Yall say Yall wil do bad thins 2 me if I post chaptar 13? Well, fin. THEIR IS NO CHAPTAR 13!

**This is still technically Chapter 13**  
Also my KRISSmes brake is ovar now so im beck in scol. That mens im in Mr Jonsons class agen

**I hope you _suffer._**

and he alredy sed that Becky was rite abot sumthin wen she razed her hand

**Razed? *One Percy Jackson check later* So she destroyed her hand?**

and ansared a questan (She sad that humens wer in the primat ordar OFF COARSE MR JONSON WUD THANK THATS RITE)

**If she's right she's right!**

but sed I was ron wen I ansared a difrant questan (I sed that see spanges are pants but Mr Jonson sed they were anemals.

**WHY WOULD YOU THINK SEA SPONGES WERE PANTS?!**

I men he evan brot a ded on into class 2 sho us and it CLERGY wasnt an enemal) latter. LIBRUL BYASS!

**CONSERVATIVE BITCH!**

**...Don't drag the real conservatives into this Spades.**

**Fine! FAKE CONSERVATIVE BITCH!**

THEIR IS NO CHAP 13

**Except there is.**

I was scarred abot the four hoarsemans cumin 2 get me wile I slapped.

**What? You think they're going to find you while your in a slap fight?**

Lauren and I had 2 take turds

**Ew.**

**Gross!**

been awake so that noone culd snek upon is. Lauren was relly pritty wen she sleped but I didnt kiss her on the lips becuz that is what lesbans

**And you are a lesbian.**

do and im not a lesban.

**I WILL DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR CLOSET!**

Also noone snacked upon us that nite.

**What? you don't _want _midnight snacks?**

The naxt day I was lissening 2 Rash Limbag on the radio with Lauren and Lank and Oak

**PROFESSOR! RUN!**

and I reelized wat the for hoarsemans were dong last nite.

**Partying? That's what I would do if I came back from the dead.**

"Today acorn rugged the electron in Germeny so that Adolg Hetlure is now there presadent agen.

**WHO IS ACORN?! WHY WOULD GERMANY LET HITLER RULE AS DICTATOR AGAIN!?**

They also riged it in Asia

**Asia-**

**ASIA IS A CONTINENT!**

so that Mosey Dong

**Who?**

is now presadent of Asia agen to. And they also got King Jorge the Thud electred King of Britainland agen by latting Mikey Moose vote.

**THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?! **

**Well the mouse is pretty popular.**

Also Mr Jonson is now the principle of my frend Saras scool in Soth Caralena becuz Obaba premoted him.

**I think it's the school boards decision not his.**

He also fired all the good Christen teechers and replaced them with otter athists like Charls Darwen and Ricard Dawkans and Lennon and Clare Marx and his bruthers," Russ Limbog said.

**No comment.**

"Ono!" I said. Not onley was Barak Ovary the dictater of America and Zelda was the rular of Hirol but now Germeny and Asia and British and My Scule were also ran by evul pepole.

**So your school isn't a part of America?**

I wasb afeared that evantully the entare world wod be run by comanism.

**ITS NOT COMMUNISM! CHINA WAS ALREADY A COMMUNIST COUNTRY**

"We shud tell the otter Christens in the Manshan" Kink sad.

"No they must of alredy lassened 2 Rosh tell it" Lauren sed. I new she was rite.

"But we ned 2 do sumthin" Ick sed.

**Just die.**

**DIE!**

"I no" I sed "but we cant do anythin rite now becuz were all the way in Nentendor World and their in the reel world. Its not essay 2 go betwin them I neded God himself 2 do it."

**Lazy little bitch.**

So we want 2 Chikfela agen

**Does Nintendo even have one of those?!**

to help fite the gay ajenda.

**You can survive, Gay Agenda! Fight, Gaysparkle! Fight!**

**Gaysparkle?**

**Hidden Prophecies review.**

**Ah.**

We culled the otter Christens their so we had a huge meting 2 discus. We were all relly scarred by what happaned that day.

**You're _always _scared.**

We neded a plane for what 2 do but it was hard becuz of how far awey the reel world was from Nintando World. We preyed 2 God 2 show us the whey becuz we didnt no wat 2 do. God sant us a massage.

**"Suck it, Sara. You're on your own. Ciao," **

"Dont wory" God sed "u dont have 2 go to them theyll cum 2 u evantully. I no becuz im God and I no everthin thatll evar happen.

**Yet you don't do anything at all.**

U just ned 2 trane so that u can bet them."

**DIE DURING YOUR TRAINING!**


	15. Chapter 14

My parants r so STUPED.

**That we can agree on after what you've said of your parents.**

Laurens birthdey is on Janary 26 and then Velantens Day is on Febrary 14. And my parants onely gave me $1000 for both togetter. I wanted $1000 4 EECH!

***Does a spittake* $1000 dollars...**

**THE FUCK?! THATS MORE THAN ENOUGH!**

**You don't need 1000 for both!**

I cant by pore pepole close 2 Lauren she desarves mor then that. Shes tuning 14 (isnt it cul that my BFF is a yer oldar than me?)

**Not really, there are lots of people who's best friends are a year older than them.**

**I'm half a year older than MC.**

and shell be gong 2 hi scule next yare wile ill onley be in ate grad. Im afeared that Lauren well fine a new BFF in hi scule and forgat abot me.

**It's best if she does.**

**Everyone needs to forget about Sara.**

THE FURST HOARSEMAN

I was gong 2 anotter doble dat 2 Chikfela with Lauren and Lunk and Uke.

**What is with you? You're here to save Nintendo but you care more about dates.**

We wer waking 2 the restarant

**I still hate Chick-Fil-A. **

wen suddanly we turd arond and the ANTIRE BRETISH MILTRY WAS SNEKING UP BEHIND US. They wer all in ther red cots and marking in strate roes with there muskrats and they had drummar boys to kep them marcing in rithum. They had cum outta nowere.

**Yeah, they had come out of nowhere.**

**How the fuck do you not see them coming? THEY HAVE A FREAKING DRUMMER BOY!**

"Were gunna bloody kill u old chap" the genital in charg of the Britush miltary sed.

**You know that's not how they talk.**

"no u aint" I sade.

"yes we bloody r" the genital sad.

"no u aint" I sid.

"YES TEHY BLOODY R U WANKARS!" sudanly I saw King Jorge the Thurd ranning up 2 us.

"Ono were undar ateck!" I sed.

**Because an entire army isn't considered an attack until George appears.**

Likn and Iek drewed there sords and Lauren and Me got in a fitting posse.

"BLOODY KILL THAM" Kin Jorge said.

**You're overusing the word 'bloody'! Ugh! You are a bloody idiot!**

**Spades, be careful, you're starting to talk like the story there.**

**Shit!**

"bloody ok" sade the genital and son like a millan muskats wer ponted at us. We startad fitting the Bretosh Milatry lukly it taks a reel lon tim 2 relode a muskrat

**It does but after they shot them, the group would be dead.**

so we cold like stab them and punk them and stuff wile they wer buzy dong that. We mangered 2 beet alota them by dong that.

**I call bullshit.**

Howevar their were 2 many of them. Sun it was clare that we were defeet. The Bratish luned us up in a row so they cold kil us by faring skwad.

**by faring skwad? What?**

"bloody 3... bloody 2... bloody 1..." the genital sed.

**JUST STOP SAYING BLOODY! IF you can't use a word right, don't use it at all!**

We tred 2 dog the bullats and Lauren and Ike mangaged 2

**You can't dodge the bullets. **

but I trepped and falled don so Link shelled me frum the muskat ballots. He was shat like a bajillian tims.

**Yay!**

"I luv u Sara" Link sed.

"I luv u 2 Link becuz ur a guy and im strate" I repled.

**Oh quit lying about your sexuality!**

And than Link ded. I was vary upsat abot this becuz he was my bofrend and I was vary attrected 2 him.

**I would hope you were attracted to your boyfriend.**

"ILL KILL U ALL THE BRITASH MILATRY!" I sade.

"no u bloody wont" King Jorge said.

Than I stareted ranning firs and bronystone from hevan on the Britash Miltry.

**Firs and bronystone? so it's raining trees and rocks?**

"I say!" they solders sad as they were crashed or burst into flem.

**Ugh, I hate this chapter.**

**I hate it too.**

"No now im bloody ded agen" King Jorge the Turd sad as I kelled him "but u wont stap the othar bloody 3 hoarsemans!"

**Sadly she will, because she's a Mary Sue.**

Once King Jorge was ded the British didnt have 2 fit us anemore.

**You just killed their king.**

**They have to fight you.**

"Your r bloody hero u wanker" they sed "bloody thank u Sara"

But I was stil sade abot Link been ded now.

**No shit.**

"Were all bloody sorry abot killing Link" the Britush genital sad "well halp u with the blody funarel."

**ARGH! QUIT SAYING BLOODY!**

So the Britash Militry came bak 2 the Manshan with us so that they cold help with Links funarel wich was the naxt day. It was a vary sad day and wen it was don the Britesh Miltary left 2 return 2 Enguld becuz they neded 2 elect a new king agen.

**You don't 'elect' a king and you guys already have a Queen. I don't think Sara understand what a 'king' is.**

I was still scurred frum ranning into King Jorge on the wey 2 Chikfela so that day me and Lauren and Ike and Clod (my new bofrend becuz Link was ded and Marth was stil gay)

**Seriously?!**

**Barely a day later and you got a _new _boyfriend?!**

ordared piza delivary from Popa Jans (they hat Obamacar so there a gud plaec 2 eet 2) insted.

**WHO CARES?!**


	16. Chapter 15

U libruls ned 2 stop atecking my storey.

**How do you know if we're liberals?**

Everthin init is a thosand percant troo

**No. No it's not.**

and I stil dont no wy everone think ima lesban. IM NOT A LESBAN PEPUL!

**Time to get out of your supersized closet.**

EVUL CLON SARA

**Well that title isn't obvious.**  
A few deys aftar Oinks deth

**Who is Oink?**

**A pig?**

I was wakking threw the Manshan with Lauren and Clod and Uke.

**I still think she's a slut.**

I wkald past the room wuth the TV scrans that shood us wen Satin and Omaba brot the for hoarsemans.

**Plot device is plot device.**

Their was taking frum insid it agen so I opaned the dore agen and saw that it was stil shoing Subspas World with Obummer (Haha!) and Satin.

**That joke was awful. **

**Like, really awful**  
"King Jorge is ded agen" Satin sad.  
"OMG that sux" Obaja sed.

**Yes, yes it does.**  
"I no" Satin sid "nao theres onley 3 hoarsemans and whatif Lauren an Sara an all those oter pepole kill them 2"

**They obviously will.**  
"Dont wary my mastars!" Mr Jonson came into The Room.

**So important that it needs to be capitalized.**

**The. Room.**  
"u have a plane Mr Jonson" Ona,a saod.  
"Yes" suddanly I WALK IN SUMHOW EVAN THO I WASNT THEIR!

***Cringes* No need to scream. We already know its an evil clone.**  
"ONO ITS SARA!" Satin and Obana pupped their paints.

**Ew.**

**Double ew. Why are they that scared of Sara? She's a weak, whiny bitch.**  
"No thes is a clon of Sara" Mr Jonson sed "I mad her in my siense clasrom with the halp of my favortest stoodant."

**Thank God you weren't an English teacher.**  
Suddanly Becky waked in The Room.

**Go Becky!**

Becky is relly stooped but thinks shes so smart becuz she wares glases and gets relly gud grads

**Oh shit!**

**...I wear glasses...I get good grades...that makes me stupid? *Runs off crying***

**Spades! Come back here! She doesn't know what she's talking about, your not stupid! You're smart!**

and stuff but shes an athist and a librul and a "femanast" wich relly mens shes a lesban

**It doesn't mean that. **

my dad sed wen I aked him wat a femanast was

**Your dad is an idiot.**

also she has lotsa zots and acme on her fase and shes relly fat to I men I sawd her bying a SIEZ 6 pans frum Targat

**Okay I think I'm ove-...I have acne! *Runs off crying***

**Spades!**

**...**

***Rage Mode Active***

**SARA I WILL KILL YOU FOR MAKING MY BEST FRIEND CRY!**

(lol shes so pore and morbadly obase) I dont lik her at all!  
"This clon is exectly like Sara EXPECT SHES A LESBAN!" Becky sed.

**Becky! YOU BETTER KILL SARA! Avenge yourself and Spades!**  
"How didu maek that hapen" Satin sed.  
"First we mad a normel clon of Sara and than Becky rapped her" Mr Jonson sad.  
"Iv alweys ben jelus of Sara becuz shes so much pritter and smartar than me and I hav an obveus lesban crush on her so it was fun 2 rap her clon" Becky sid.

**I...I will-*Sobs***

**It's okay *hugs Spades* Its just fiction. Once this is over I'll get us some taco's. **

**And how egotistic can you get?! Becky is another living being, your being a complete bitch! I hope someone shoots you for writing this trash!**  
"Can I go kill the reel Sara and than rap Lauren and have a treesam with her an Becky now" Evul Clon Sara sed.

**Well...if it's _rap._**  
"No u dont hav Reel Saras God Powars since I got her ganetics b4 that hapend so u cant kill her u ned 2 rap her into a lesban 2 so that shell turn into an evul lesban and use Gods on powars agenst him"

**Wouldn't it just be easier to kill Sara? I mean obviously God can't do shit in the Nintendo world or he would have killed them all by now.**

Mr Jonson sid.  
"Ok" Evul Clon Sara sed "than well have a lesban 4 way aftar I rap my good verson and Lauren"

**Fuck...you...**  
"Thats the sperit" Obaba seid.  
"I luv u Evil Clon Sara" Becky sed than she and my evul clon startad makin ot wich was DIGUSING becuz evan if I was a lesban WICH IM NOT id dat Lauren becuz shes so pritty and Becky is so uglay.

**Oh fuck you! You selfish, self-centered bitch!**

**I think you're taking your first steps in accepting your gay.**

But im not a lesban so I wan 2 dat duds

**You want to date video game characters over saving a world.**

not ether of them evan tho Lauren is my BFF and shes so pritty and I luv her in a frend way not in a romentic 1 becuz im not a lesban.

**I WILL RIP YOU TO PIECES AND DRAG THEM PIECE BY PIECE OUT OF YOUR CLOSET! Your death will bring much joy to the world!**

**Did you enter Demon Mode without anyone noticing? **

**SILENCE!**  
"OK Evul Clon Sara sinc u dont have Saras God Powars Lord Satin and I will giv u ars" Barock Obema sed.

**I think she should be stronger than Sara now. **  
So than Omaha and Satin gav Evul Clon Sara there powars.  
"Now go 2 the Smash Manshon and rap Lauren and the reel Sara!" Satin sed.

**It's not going to work, Sara hates rap it seems.**  
"I cant wate until thos 2 r lesbans 2" Evul Clon Sara sed "I will hav so much lesban sax with Lauren wen shes a lesban."  
I new that my clon was NOTING LIEK ME AT ALL wen she sad that becuz im not a lesban Lauren is my BFF not my luver.

**Suuuure. **

**I don't believe her.**

**Why is she so persistent to deny the truth we all know?**


	17. Chapter 16

U no wats relly funny?

**Not whatever you're about to say.**

I sed Becky wers a siz 6 paints in the lust chaptar

**Lust Chapter?**

**This is _not _the Book of Eibon! there is no Lust chapter! There is no Greed chapter!**

but I checked her pints siez in jim class today and she acsholly weres a SIZ 8 now.

**Do girls actually go and check their classmates pant size in gym class?**

**No. At least not the girls in my class. But...they're not normal girls so...**

Lol she git evan fattar.

**That isn't funny you bitch.**

I wer a siz 2 in case ur wondaring.

**We weren't, but thanks for the blatant lies.**

Im trying 2 get 2 a siez 0 lik Lauren

**Not gonna happen.**

CHAP 16: EVUL CLON SARA CUMS 2 MANSHAN AND ALSO THE SECANT HOARSEMAN

The naxt day I was along outsid of the Manshan loking at all the flowars

**Venusaur must be there. **

and stuff becuz they smolled like Lauren and were pritty liek her.

**But there is no way that she's a lesbian!**

**Such an absurd idea! Why all these things she says when talking about Lauren like her rants of how beautiful her best friend is just reek of Heterosexuality!**

It was all pacefel and stuf and I dident c aney dangar. I wuz on hi alurt tho becuz I new Evil Clon Sara wod cum 2 the Manshan son and I wantad 2 be reedy.

**Thanks for the spoiler. We now know what's going to happen.**

Butthan wen I luked arond agen I sawed MOSEY DONG THE SECANT HOARSEMAN and he was ridding Godzela

**Godzilla!**

**How the Hell don't you notice him behind you!?**

and had a buncha samereyes and nunjas and otter asoan stuff with him. I was all along and scurred and I crayed for Lauren 2 cum sav me but she wasnt nier

**Nya nya!**

so I culled 4 my bofrend Clod but he wasnt their ether

**Nya nya!**

so I stated culling nams of allthe Christen smasers but I was al along.

**No one can help you now, Sara.**

"Noone is here to herp u" Charmen Moo sed. Than Gidzela rored.

**GODZILLA!**

"Ono" I sed.

"Now Godzera

**Godzilla!**

is gunna eet u" Cheerman Mow "but firsts I wir sand ar of thes sameris and ninjas to kir u"

**Count me in!**

"Please no" I sed.

"To rate. Rord Satin wir be vary preesed" Charming Moai sid.

Suddenly the sameris and nonjas atuked me so I hed to fit tham. I killed like a thosand of eech b4 thay wer all defeet.

**Blatant lies.**

Than Godzela

**GODZILLA!**

attecked me buy tring 2 eet me an he wuz so hug that I coldnt beet him normely. So I hed 2 us my finale smosh and turd in2 a angle. I reined divyne furry on Gidzola and Mosay Dong as an angle and killed them both.

**...Godzilla?**

"u kirred me!" Charmin Mai sed as he dyed.

**Because you weren't already dead?**

Godzula jus rored and falled ovar.

**Godzilla!**

I retuned 2 the insid of the Manshan and tolled Lauren and Clod and Ack and aney utter Christen smasgers I cold fine abot my fit with Mosey Dong an Gozala and the samires and the ningas. Wen I got 2 talling Maryo he wuz confised.

**After all that's happened, I would be confused to, Mario, I would be too.**

"Bat ho wer u outsid fitting Charmun Mos wen u war in her minuets ago" he sed.

**Uh oh.**

"no I wusnt" I repled.

"ya u wer u wen in2 peeches rom 2 take 2 her alon" Maryo sed.

**Shit.**

**...Peach?...As in...Princess Peach?**

"ONO THATS NOT ME THATS EVUL CLON SARA AND SHES A LESBAN SO PECH IS IN DANGAR!" I yeled.

**Fuck! Peach! Don't worry! I'll save you!**

"OMG thats turible" Maryo sed.

**You don't seem concerned that your wife/girlfriend/princess is about to come face to face with the madness that is this story.**

**She is not his wife! No! Peachy!**

**And MC's inner fanboy is at high alert and panic mode.**

So Me and Maro runned 2 Pechas romo 2 trey 2 sav her frum Evul Clon Sara and we mat up with Lauren and Clod and Oke alon the wey. Wen we gut 2 The Room we opaned the dore and insid PAECH AND EVUL CLON SARA WER HAVIN LESBAN SAX! WE WER ALREDY 2 LAT!

**Oh Enkindlers! It may just be a clone but fuck! I don't want to see a naked Sara! THE IMAGES! CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR!**

**...Peach...*Whimpers***

**Oh don't worry, when this is done, go play Mario or read some comics online.**

"Ono my gurlfren is a lesban now!" Marui sed.

***Perks up* _Your _girlfriend?**

Pach and Evul Clon Sara stapped having lesban sax and luked at us.

**"Can you close the fucking door?"**

"hi good Sara... and Lauren" Evul Clon Sara stated aprochin Lauren deductivelay.

**Deductively? **

"Stey bak" Lauren puled ot her crass 2 repealed Evul Clon Sara an Peech.

"Lauren! I jus went 2 hav a forsam with u and Good Sara and Becky" Evul Clon Sara sed.

**Because that is such a turn on. Nope. **

"Ew Becky is so discussing!" Lauren sed "shes so fat and stooped."

**Shut up bitch. **

**Seriously! Aren't the really religious people like Sara supposed to be really nice goody two shoes?!**

"Ino but shes the resin ima lesban so im grateful 2 her" Evul Clon Sara sed.

**Keep Becky out of this!**

"Wy wold u be grateful 4 the persan who mad u a bad persan whos gong 2 hell" I sed.

"becuz im hapey that ima lesban" Evul Clon Sara sed.

**This Sara is _happy _about herself unlike the real Sara. Get your fat ass out of the closet, Sara and you can be happy!**

"it dosnt matar ho hapy evul maks u ur stil evul and u wil be vary unhapy wen u dye and go2 hell 4 been a lesban" I sed.

**Hey, you don't know what Hell is like. For all you know it could be one giant amusement park with cotton candy, rollercoasters, nonstop anime marathons...chocolate...sugar...fire...**

**MC? *Waves hand in front of MCs face* you okay?...you're starting to drool? MC?**

**And unlimited supply of video games...and high definition TVs...and awesome as fuck bikes...and the _fire_!...oh God! _Burn..._fire!...it will all burn...so warm...so fucking warm it feels so fucking good...**

**We got a problem, we've lost MC it looks like. Eh, this chapter is almost done anyways.**

"wel than ill mak u an Lauren jon me in hell" Evul Clon Sara sed.

"Lets ran outa her" Clod sed.

**The fuck?! You're inside of her?!**

So Lauren and Me and Maryo and Clod and Icke runned outa The Room

**So important it had to be capitalized!**

lukily Peech and Evul Clon Sara want bak 2 lesban sax and didnt chas us.

**So lazy! Wow! So MC, what do you think of this?**

**The fire..._the fire..._**

**...Well this is what you get for having a fire-loving Co-Host. MC snap out of it! Seriously! You're drooling and that dopey smile is creeping me out!**

**...**

**I'm getting out of here.**


	18. Chapter 17

stell dont no wy everone thanks ima lesban wen im not.

**Quit giving so many homosexual undertones when you're talking about Lauren and we'll stop assuming your a closet gay.**

Been a homasexal is a choys so im not a lesban becuz idont chos 2 be 1.

**The whole 'choice' and 'not a choice' is an argument I don't want to get into.**

I CHOOZ 2 BE STRATE! Taht wey ill go2 heven an nut hall

**A nut hall?**

**I can see her in a nut hall.**

wichis wer lesbans go wen they dye.

**No, Nut Halls is where Sara goes when she died.**

**She's probably in a Living Nut Hall right now. She's nuts.**

CHAP 17: LONK IZ EN SUBSPAS

**Oh Enkindlers.**

I was wakling passed the rom with the TV screans agen and I herd voises cumin frum insid it agen

**The Room is a magic room meant only for Sara, which must be why it only shows up when there are plot related shit going on.**

and I went insid the rom becuz the last 2 tims it was impotent. Wen I luked on the screns I saw that Limk was tid up in Subspas World and Bark Obems and Satin wer naxt 2 him.

**Isn't Link dead?**

**Weren't Master Hand and Crazy Hand for a chapter?**

**Good point.**

"Haha we hav u prisanor!" they sed "and sone well hav a gay guy in her 2 rap u so u tirn gay"

**Not you too.**

"No that wont work" Loin sed "I new that mite hapen soi pored alota supper gloo in my butte

**And how are you going to take a dump? That's going to cause more damage than a change in sexuality.**

**Oh dear Enkindlers...**

so gay gays coldnt rap me evar becuz there man parts cant getin their wen its close all the tim."

**You can tell this was written by Sara.**

**I'm seriously wondering if Sara is related to Tara, I mean their shitty writing skills are so similar!**

"Ono u otsmart us but we ned 2 fin sum supper glo remuvar

**Does that even exist?**

**If it does get me some! I'm getting sick of getting super glue on my hands when I use it!**

well kep u tid up wile we do that" so Satin and Borat Obaema leaft the room. I runned outa the tv scren rome becuz I new I onley had a lettle tim 2 sav him befor Saten and Ohama got the supper gloo removar

**Can't Satan use...I don't know...Hell Powers to remove the super glue?**

and I didnt want 2 fale lunk like I falled marp. I runned don the hellway until I fond Lauren. She wasnt in the Manshan yet wen Marht was turn gay so I new shed be an impotent fector in saven Pink.

**Um, how?**

**Wouldn't it be better to take people with experience in Subspace?**

Hoever b4 I cold talk Evul Clon Sara runned from the otter way.

**Look out! She's on the Otter Way! She's got an army of Otters with her!**

"Stey away from Lauren Evul Clon Sara" Evul Clon Sara sed.

**Oh! Mind games!**

**The most cliché scene ever with an Evil Cone and the Original.**

"No ur Evul Clon Sara" I sed.

"No im the reel Sara" Evul Clon Sara sed "u r Evul Clon Sara. And ill led Lauren into the safty of r room 2 protact her from u. Fillow me Lauren."

"No dont lissen 2 her shes Evul Clon Sara and shell jus rap u wen u go2 r room with her" I sed.

"I dont no wich on of u is the reel Sara!" Lauren sed "we hav 2 do a test!"

**Because it is the best way to find out who is the real one!**

**It would be better to just shoot them both, Lauren.**

"OK" I sed. I new I cold win becuz im the Reel Sara.

**You sure?**

**There have been times where the Clone wins.**

"OK" Evul Clon Sara sed. She felled rite in2 the trap becuz I new Lauren wodnt fall for her trikes. Also unlik me Evul Clon Sara was a lesban so she coldnt passibly get the rite ansars 2 questans that a strate gurl lik me wode no.

**Bullshit.**

"Firts queston is for thes Sara" Lauren ponted 2 Evul Clon Sara "How ded we first meat."

"R mothars wer in Bibal stody togetter so they lerned they had dotters around the sam aeg so on day wen I was 4 an u wer 5 thy brot me 2 ur hose. U wer play legan of zalda the wide wanker on ur gamcoob and it was the furst tim I evar saw a girl playing vido gams evan tho my bruther had a plystashun 2 that he playd Maiden Fitball gams on. U wer waring a gren shit and bloo genes and evan than I thot u wer vary pritty. Wen I spant mor tim with u I stared 2 like vidoe gaems 2." Evul Clon Sara said. ONO! THAT WAS RITE! EVUL CLON SARA MUSTVE HAD ALL MY MAMMARIES!

**Wait, aren't mammary glands-**

**Yes! Yes they are! Ew but yeah, duh.**

"Rite" Lauren sed. Than she turd 2 me "now othar Sara what was the first gam u oned for urself that wasnt ure bruthers."

"I got the playstaton 1 gam fenal fantesy steven wich was old evan than 4 my fiveth birthfday that septamber. Thats the gam with Clod inet" I sed

**Don't all Final Fantasy games have Cloud?**

"I pleyed it at ur hose erlier becuz ur sister oned it 2."

**And didn't you say in an earlier chapter that playing games turns girls into a lesbian? **

"Rite" Lauren sed "sence both of u were rite we hav 2 do a tye braker. Both of u at the sam tim yell the nam of ur favoret stor."

"Victoras Secrete"

**That store is...eh...**

I sed. I dont acsholly by stuff ther that oftan but I like 2 lok at all the pritty womans in ther catlog and on pictars in the stor but onely becuz I hop 2 lok liek them sumday not becuz ima lesban.

**Sure. I call bullshit but sure.**

"Hom Deppo"

**How is Home Depot bad!? Readers! Is Home Depot a bad store?!**

Evul Clon Sara sad revelling hersalf 2 be the fak. Lauren stapped away frum Evul Clon Sara becuz we both new that my clon was a dangaros lesban.

**Eh.**

"Ono u fond me out!" and Evul Clon Sara runned away.

I telled Lauren abot how I saw Link captared in Subspas so we had 2 sav him.

**So, Link who is dead is going to be rescued, are you going to cheat on Cloud with him, are you going to get Cloud killed or turned gay so you can be with Link?**

**I wouldn't be surprised if she cheated on Cloud.**

We fond the otter Christen smaserrs and prepaired 2 goto Subspas agen. Hopfully thes tim turd ot bettar.

**Okay. That's it. We are ending this chapter on a better note! **

**321 Go!**

_**While the brainwashed Smashers were preparing to rescue Sara's dead boyfriend so she could dump Cloud, Sara and Lauren scampered down the halls. The two girls were well out of earshot of the other Smashers, on the other side of the house now, about to do some things that would bring more accusations of being gay that Sara would deny. While they were talking and rambling about how beautiful they were and the other was and holding hands, the lights in the hall turned off leaving them in complete darkness.**_

_**"What's going on?" Sara asked letting go of Lauren and looking around, trying to see in the darkness.**_

_**After a moment, the lights turned back on, but this time, instead of lighting up the halls with a bright light, they were instead light dimly. Lauren squinted her eyes trying to see better but to no avail.**_

_**They paused when they heard the sound of wood against the wall and saw a figure walk from around the corner at the other end of the hall. It's form was standing straight, a long object in its hand touching the ground. It was hard for the two girls to make out who it was, but they could see glowing white where the beings eyes would be .**_

_**Footsteps caused them to turn around again, and this time a smaller person was behind them at the other end of the hall, preventing the two Mary Sues from running. It too held some object in it's hand.**_

_**At once, the two began walking to the girls. When they were close enough, you could see who it was, the Reviewers; M.C and Spades. The objects they were holding were their weapons; Spades baseball bat and M.C was carrying a metal pipe. **_

_**The girls looked at M.C then made a face at Spades.**_

_**"Ew! She's wearing a boys hat and flannel! And look at those jeans!" Sara said in pure disgust, "She has to be a lesbian! She must be here to rape us and turn us gay!"**_

_**Lauren nodded in agreement and glared at M.C, "This must be her fellow Liberal Gay Atheist friend!" she said as the boy scowled at her, "He looks so girly and not at all manly like a guy should!"**_

_**M.C bite back an angry remark, but Spades did not have as much control this time.**_

_**"Shut your mouth!" Spades snapped taking a step towards the girls who backed away in fear.**_

_**Realizing they were surrounded, Sara stepped protectively in front of Lauren, "Don't worry! I'll just use my powers from God to take care of these two!" she boasted as she began focusing.**_

_**Lauren cheered and Sara glared at Spades, "You look so much like that dumb Becky! You have glasses and acne! I bet your stupid like her too!" She sneered.**_

_**Had Sara had any brains, she would have realized to shut up right then. M.C backed away, muttering a 'oh shit', and Spades froze. But Sara continued talking.**_

_**"And you're outfit is so stupid! You sure are a lesbian! Do you even try to look pretty?" She asked and continued to talk, and talk **_**and talk.**

**_M.C shook his head as he moved on from her clothes to how Spades wasn't wearing any makeup, "She should _really _shut up now," he muttered, but it was too late._**

**_With a scream that could put a Banshee to shame, Spades was covered in a white light, when the light was gone, a more terrifying figure stood there. _**

**_Spades had entered Demon Mode._**

**_The terror in the two Mary Sue's faces was evident, and they tried to back away only to get hit by the metal pipe._**

**_"Nope," M.C said glowering at them, "You wrote the monstrosity that destroyed Super Smash Bro's, you unleashed _that _monstrosity," He gestured at Demon Mode Spades for that comment, "So it's time for you to pay your dues."_**

**_The two didn't have time to scream before Spades pounced on them. M.C stood back as blood flew everywhere and the screams of pain echoed through the hall. _**

**_About five minutes later, Spades, covered in blood and bits of fabric, was flying M.C out of the mansion while a pair of bloody, and unrecognizable corpses were in the hallway that too was drenched in blood._**

A proper ending to this chapter, where Sara and Lauren are killed in a brutal fashion and the authors fly off into the sunset to watch Anime and play Skyrim.


	19. Chapter 18

Im so scarred 2day.

**Did you read our chapter of us killing you? If so than you should be scared.**

Laurens sister Leslie was bak form collage 4 this wekend and she was waching a sho on her commuter called Baffy the Umpire Slayar

**Baffy the Umpire Slayer? I didn't know there was a show about Buffys cousin who kills umpires. Man she must hate baseball.**

**Yea-**

**Do. NOT DIS BUFFY! This is your _only _warning, Sara.**

wich is a relly old shoe abot lesbans.

**Only Willow, Tara, and Kennedy are lesbians and the main cast. Willow isn't a lesbian until college and Tara and Kennedy don't show up until seasons whatever.**

**ITS ABOUT VAMPIRE AND DEMON SLAYING! FUCK YOU!**

She sed she burrowed the complet DVD sat from on of her collage frends. Im afeared that LESlie (c its rite ther in her nam)

**Oh my god...**

was turn into a lesban at collage wich I herd happans 2 good Christen gurlsd sometims.

**Fuck. You.**

This gos alon with her votin 4 that gary jonson guy insted of Mit Roomba.

**I don't really like Mitt Romney.**

I hed 2 slep relly clos 2 Lauren in bed so her sister coldnt rap us wen we seeped.

**And you're _sure _you aren't the lesbian here?**

But Laurens sister is still here and shell be back in 2 weks 4 Laurens birthday whatif her "presant" 4 her sister is LESBAN SAX!

**Oh FUCK YOU!**

**Oh my Enkindlers! JUST DIE!**

CHAP 18: RETUNE 2 SUBSPAS

**Stay there! Die there! JUST DIE!**

Lauren and Me got Clod and Icke and Ton Lik and Pet and Nads and Lookus and Maroi and Looeg and Sonak and Mastur Chafe and Kurby and Kang Deedee

**So many names! *Faints***

and we all want 2 Sunspas 2 sav Loink. We new it was dangares becuz their ware moar gays and lesbans in Subspas then in Sen Fransisko

**All right guys, we know where she lives. Time to suit up and kill her.**

also Stain and Brick Obsma wer their and they war the evullest pepole 2 evar live.

**Oh, I can think of a few people more evil. How about the guy who murdered millions of Jews? What about Atila the Hun? Vlad the Impaler? So many others too!**

We got 2 Subspas and wer insanely swarned by enemas. They atecked us but we fot back. I used my God powars and Lauren used her awsamness and Clod used his ginormes sord and ded omneslush and Icke used his sord 2 and so did Tone Loc.

***Yawn***

Pet baneshed the bad guys 2 hell and Nas and Lucius used there magek powars. Maro and Logi shat furballs and Sonec turn in2 a bull 2 hit the evul pepol.

Master Chef

**Who's Master Chef? From a Cooking show?**

shat them with a ton of gans and Kirb and Krang Deedee used big hamas. It was a reel difecult fit but we 1. Than 2 Germane gay guys with blod hare and blo eys atecked us and they had sastekas and I new that Hitlar the thurd hoarseman had 2 be nearbye.

**Oh, you don't say!**

"Helo Sara" Hetlur sed "i dident excep her 2day."

It was Hitlur and he had his notzee army of Germen gays and lesbans with him!

**Hitler killed homosexuals.**

"Were here 2 save Limp!" I sad.

**"I don't give a shit about Link! I'm here for Limp!"**

"But u will fale since u cant beet the powar of comunism and gayness and LORD STAN!" Hurler sade "NOTZEES ATACK!"

**Excuse me while I go scream in rage *Leaves room***

"Yes mine furor" the notzees atecked us. Than Hitlar pulled ot a jont of pat and begun smoking it.

"Dont do drugs Hitlor or u will go2 Hell" I sed.

**Hey, it doesn't say anywhere in the bible that you can't do drugs.**

***Snickers* What do you expect? This girl is like 'People who do things I don't like I say go to Hell'.**

"I wont stop becuz im evul. B4 I changd the nam of Germeny 2 the Savet Onion

**THAT WAS RUSSIA!**

I chaned it 2 Dutchland so I culd smok wed in amstardam evary day (if u lissen 2 his speches he sas Dutchland alota tims but nevar Germeny)"

**Ahem, I didn't know you knew German, but then you know that 'Deutschland' is German for Germany. LEARN HISTORY BEFORE YOU START SPEWING YOUR FUCKING LIES!**

Hiter sed. I woldve talked 2 Hitlir mor abot hoiw drugs r bad but I had 2 fite the notzees he sant 2 kill us.

**Oh my God! *Facedesk***

King Deedee was hitten the notzees with his humor wen HITLIR SNEAKED UP BEHID HIM AND RAPPED HIM AND TUNED HIM GAY!

**Oh. My. Enkindlers. MC I need your pipe.**

***Hands metal pipe over***

***Repeatedly bashes head with it.***

Than we had 2 fite King Deedee 2. Wen we won I pushed Hitter of the ege of Subspas intoo oblevyon. Now Mr Jonson was the onley hoarseman left.

Aftar Hetler was defeet we runned 2 the room were Likn was and he was stil ted up.

**Link is dead! Just stay dead! Please!**

"Sara! U cam 2 sav me!" he sade. B4 I cold unty him I hed 2 check his butte 2 c if ther was still supper gloo in ther I tolled Icke 2 do that and he did.

**Ew!**

**I wouldn't check someones butt! Not even for a hundred dollars!**

"Yep theres still supper gloo" he sed. So I cute Linl free. Jus than Satin and Barko Bama return with the supper gloo remouver.

**I don't even know if I should root for anyone.**

"stop them they r escap!" Satin sed. Than sum gay guys jumped ot and stated rapping Clod. I new it was 2 lat 4 him so we all had 2 ran away with Libk.

**Wow, how convenient that the moment you get your ex boyfriend back, your boyfriend turns gay!**

We managed 2 get back 2 the Smash Manshan but we wer 2 tired 2 goto Chikfela so we ordared Pupa Jons pezza agen but we didnt tup the delevery guy becuz that encorges lazyness 2 giv muny 2 pore pepol.

**...**

**Oh God. This girl is _the _dumbest person ever! You tip people because its nice and it's how people get money because they're WORKING! *Works as a waitress* UGH! I HATE WHEN PEOPLE USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE NOT TO TIP PEOPLE!**

***Demon Mode Active***


	20. Chapter 19

**We've got a few chapters done already, so we'll be posting them at different times today.**

**Multiple updates today!**

I spant anotter nite at Laurens hose lukily Laurens sister still hasnt rapped us and shes leavin 4 collage agen 2day.

**What have you against rap?**

Im afred that shell try 2 turn Lauren and maybe alos me into a lesban at Laurens birthday party tho.

**You are the most paranoid thirteen year old I've ever met. And I was a pretty paranoid 13 year old.**

Maybe I shod bui Lauren sum pepar sprey 4 her birthday justen case (but that wont be her onley gift becuz im a good frend but not her lesban luver).

**Lies.**

**You know liars go to Hell, right Sara?**

Alos I dont no wy everone thinks ima slit slyts ar gurls who have sax with bois b4 marreg

**That's not the only way they get called sluts.**

**Getting a new boyfriend less than a day after you dump the last one is a way to be called a slut too-wait, that sounds like Sara doesn't it? Heh.**

and iv nevar evan wanted 2 do that. Iv nevar evan wantad 2 kiss a boi b4 marrage.

**..They're is nothing wrong against sloppy makeout sessions before marriage.**

Also they were cloths that sho of there big sexay bobs and there buttes in ordar 2 put lesban thots in the mines of strate Christen gurls like me

**Um, no, that's just the fashion of this era that most girls like.**

**I wish the 'fashion' of this era would be hoodies, loose jeans, and normal T-shirts.**

that we hav 2 prey 2 mak stop.

**Hey, if you get lesbian thoughts in your mind, no one to blame but yourself.**

CHAP 19: GOALITH THE RELLY BIG EVUL GUY

**Now she's bringing biblical figures into this?**

The naxt day Samas and Zekda and Paech and Evul Clon Sara wer having a lesban orgie in the cafatirea of trhe Manshan.

**What have you against Samus?**

**PEACH! I'll save you! *Rushes in wearing flaming armor***

**...Fanboys. Watcha expect?**

"Stop thes" Masgter Han sed "their is a rul in the Manshan no lesban orgys in the lanchrom."

**You heard him, take it to a bedroom.**

"No we wont stop" Evul Clon Sara sed.

"Sara? Ur a lesban" Muster Hen sid.

**Yes. Yes she is.**

"No im not!Q" I yalled ovar frum my table "thats Evul Clon Sara"

"U hav a evul clon" I relized noone told Mastar Hans abot Evul Clon Sara.

**I find it funny that people are eating and then there is this foursome going on at a table in the same room.**

"Yea" I sed.

"U ned 2 tell me wen Evul Clon Sara cum to Manshan" Mister Ham saud "theres lotsa papurwerk that neds 2 be dun whenevar theres a new smashar."

**I love Master Hand. He's just taking this in stride.**

**Master Hand gives no fucks.**

"BUT SHES NOT A SMASHAR SHES MY EVUL CLON AND SHES LIBRUL AND A LESBAN AND A ATHIST AND SHES TRY 2 RAP ME AND LAUREN!" I sed.

"I dont care we ned 2 be tolerate" Mastet Hadn sed.

**Go Master Hand!**

**Woot! I love this guy!**

"No u cant tolert the gay agend theyll tune ever1 into gays and lesbans if u dont sand them 2 prisan until they die and goto Hell" I sed.

"Stop been a homophone Sara" Mastur Hand sed.

**Master Hand: 100**

**Sara: 0**

"U r wrung!" I starmed off angerly and Lauren and Lank and Oke fellowed me. I coldnt beleve that Master Han was been so unresinable

_**He's **_**being unreasonable?**

**PFft! Pot calling the kettle black.**

and I hatted him so much for goin agenst God by tuning a blond eye 2 the gay aganda.

**Master Hand doesn't _have _eyes, let alone blonde eyes.**

I waked passed the TV scran rome agen and herd talken agen.

**I swear, if she goes right away into ranting about poor Becky-**

I want insid and loked at the screns but Beckys fat butte tooked up half the scren and her ginormes zits taked up the other half.

***DEMON MODE ACTIVE***

She was wennin the award form the genius book of word retards both 4 her fatness and how big her zots r.

**OH MY ENKINDLERS! SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!**

Than the award giver persan left.

**Guess what Sara, Becky won an award. Have _you _won any awards?**

"Im vary unheppy!" Staten sed "Hitlar and Moai and Kang Jorge r all died and Lonk escape b4 we cold turn him gay."

**SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CRYBABY PUSSY!**

"Dont wary Lord Satin" Mr Jonson sed "Me and Becky crated a new savant 4 u.

***Looks up Savant* They're going to create a learned person for you. Because you are such an idiot.**

His nam is Goleth lik the big guy in the Bibal who fot Kin Daved expect this Goalith wont die frum a slinshat becuz I spraid him with slinshat repealant."

**...Seriously? Slingshot repellant.**

**Hahaha! Sara's tiny brain is getting even smaller each chapter!**

Suddenly a relly relly big guy waked into the rom. He was relly big and like tem fetts tall and his mussels wer hug.

**Ten feet tall? Pshh, I'll be right back. *Leaves***

"Bloody das boot kawaii!" he sed.I new he had 2 be haf Bretash haf Germen and haf Aslan.

**It's not 'half British, Half German and Half Asian' it's 'A third British, German and Asian'. You idiot.**

That cold onley meen he was mad frum the DAN of the othar 3 hoarsemans.

**You better kick ass.**

I remambered how scurry difecult thos 3 fits were and was vary afeared abot havin 2 fit sum1 with the combened abiletys of all 3 of them.

***Comes back* Of course it's going to be completely weak. **

"I mad him frum the DNS of Hutler and Mosey Dong and Kang Jorge the Turd

**Pfft.**

**Heh.**

alon with a buncha othar comunits ajnd than I replased his blud with sterods so hed get relly relly big lik he is" Mr Jonson sid.

**Steroids are bad.**

**Do we give a shit? Nope.**

"Wanker sourkraut banzai!" Goileth sid.

**...what?**

"Now Becky u must go 2 the Smash Mention and take Goaluth with u to beet up Sara and Lauren so u can rap them" Borak Osama sed.

**LEAVE BECKY ALONE! THATS IT! COME HERE MY MONSTER BABY!**

***A giant monster mixed of video game characters; Brute, Krogan, Tank, and a Necromorph (from Halo, Mass Effect, Left4Dead and Dead Space) enters* **

**Monster: RAWR!**

**...Where the fuck did you get this?**

**The imagination.**

"OK" Becky sed. Than she and the relly big guy laft the rom. She was so fat that it was hard 4 her to fit thro the door

**RAWR! SHUT UP ABOUT BECKY!**

**Monster: RAWR! *Smashes half of the room***

also she coldnt see it becuz she forgat her glases becuz shes so stooped. Mr Jonson had to leed her 2 get tham. I new I was in sirius terible if I runned into Gouldeth

**ARGH**

**Shooh *Paps Spades* Calm your fucking tits, Spades. Shoosh**.


	21. Chapter 20

Hay I hav a queston.

**Ask away.**

I hav a frend nam Lara and she has a BFF Sauren

**...**

**Seriously? That's the best you have?**

and they r both strat Christens and they lik 2 huge ech odder adn held hans but in a strate way (wich is perfactly nomel 4 strate gurls 2 do)

**To a certain extent.**

. Butthan alova sadden last evning Lara and Sauren were in Saurens rom doin all that an than they sidenly kised each odder on the lups.

**Is this her way of coming out of the closet?**

**I think it is. We should throw her a congratulations party.**

How lung wod they hav 2 prey 4 God 2 forgave them and 4 the evul urgas 2 do that agen 2 go awey?

**You don't need to pray to God for forgiveness, there is nothing that needs to be forgiven. You did nothing wrong- I mean Sara and Laur- Lara and Sauren did nothing wrong.**

Agen these 2 pepole im taking abot r Lara and Sauren NOT Me and Lauren but nun of the 4 of us r lesbans.

**Hahaha sure.**

I herd of sumthin relly cole in englush clas 2day and I thenk ill put it in thes storey now.

**Oh _great._**

CHAP 20: GOLATH CUMS ALSO BECKYS RELLY FAT

**And here we go.**

**Oh my fucking Enkindlers! QUIT BEING SUCH A BITCH!**

The nexr day I was train with Lauren on the Finial Dissertation stag. Her lon bron hare blewed in the brez as I starred in2 her depp bloo eys.

**Lesbians. Yes. Her rant about not being a lesbian: 3...2...1**

Even tho we ABSALUTLY R NAT LESBAN LUVERS

**You kissed. You are lesbians. Deal with it.**

were still BFFs so it was difecult 2 hav 2 fit her evan if it was only jus 2 trane.

**Spades and I are BFFS. I have no problem fighting her.**

**Neither do I.**

Evantilly Lauren wan and we laft the aroma. Suddenly Libk runned up.

"Manshan is undar ateck!" he sad. We runned 2 the frant dore 2 the Manshan. I excepted it to be Goleth an Becky and I was rite. The antire Manshan was shuken like an erthquack from the wate of Goalths mussels and Beckys obasety.

**FUCK. YOU**

***DEMON MODE ACTIVE***

**This story has the highest Demon Mode count I have ever seen. Congratulations?**

Suddanly Goaleth moshed thro the frunt dor.

"Bloody blitskreeg karaty" Geliath sed.

**What?**

**Speak. English. Or German. Or one of the languages in Asia. But pick _one._**

Lonk tred 2 het Galith with his sord but was noked away. Than Ike tred that 2 but was noked away 2. The sam thin happened wen Tin Lenk tryd that.

**Obviously stop trying that.**

Pit tred 2 use his heven bow but Golsath runned ovar and knacked him unconshus. Than he knacked ot the otter Christen smashers expect for Lauren and Me.

**Obviously you're going to beat him when the rest of the Smashers didn't stand a chance.**

Wen he tred 2 ran tords us 2 Becky stapped him.

"No. I went tham 2 be awak wen I rap tham.

**Oh Becky, worst mistake ever.**

Ty tham up" Becky sed. Goalith grab sum rop and ted Me and Lauren up.

"Sara Im gonna rap Lauren fisrt. I want u 2 hav 2 wach as ur BFF becums a lesban in luv with me. Than Ill rap u 2" she sed.

**I sense epic fail.**

"no stey away" Lauren sad.

Goleth waked ovar to held Lauren stil but he was suddenly shat!

**Please have done it over Sara. Please have done it over Sara.**

I loked ovar 2 were ballot cam

**There is a vote going on?**

frum and I saw it was my bruther Josh.

**Oh FUCK NO!**

**ARGH!**

"Get awey form my sistar and her frend" Josh sed. Sudanly the son Reel Amerkan by Huck Hogen startad playen

**FUCK NO! ARGH!**

(My bruther werks ot 2 this son alot. Its anoyin sum of the tim wen im tryen 2 do sumthin eels but the musac fils up the hose. And wen Me and Lauren r togetter 2 do normel strate girl frend thins the musac roons the mod.

**Can't have sex listening to Real American now can you?**

But thes tim its god becuz hes their 2 sav us. Also hes an ant hero wich I herd abot in englash class 2day wich mens he can do stuf that normel heros like Me and Lauren cant).

**Anti-Hero means he's selfish, means he's usually in it more so for himself then the goody two shoes.**

**Sara is the anti-hero here! FUCK SHES THE MOTHERFUCKING VILLIAN!**

Josh put an AR fiften undar ech arm and opaned fir on Goaleth. Wen he shat all the bulets he throed the gans aside and garbed 2 rockette lanchers and fird the rockettes than he throed sum groinaids.

**Spades calm do-**

**SHUT UP! I'm contemplating how to kill this asshole.**

Al of this injared Goalith and scarred him away. He tred 2 shat Becky 2 but she was so fat that the bullet just bonced of.

**ARGH!**

She runned away anyway tho.

Aftar Josh unted Me and Lauren Mastar Hanes and Crapy Han flayed in.

"Wats gon on here?" Mastur Hen sed.

"I jus savd ur manshan and ur smashers u stooped glov" Josh sad.

**OH YOU DO NOT DIS THE HANDS!**

"That was amazin" Mustard Hans sed "do u want 2 jon the smashers? Ill get tha papurwerk."

"No I werk along" and so Josh walked ot the frant dor of the manshan

**ARGH DIE JOSH DIE!**

**Spades does not like Josh it seems. **

**THEY WERE THIS CLOSE TO LOSING! HE HAD TO COME AND RUIN IT ALL!**

"Ill cum back 2 protact my sistar wen she neds it but I dont wanna lessen 2 anyuns authorety but Gods."

**GODS! HAH! Multiple! MORE THAN ONE!**

And son Josh was gon.

**For good I hope.**


	22. Chapter 21

Im starten 2 get scarred that Bjork Obema and the librul medea mite find thes storey and mak fenfacshunnat tak it don

**I doubt that's what he would do.**

**If I was him, I'd have you arrested.**

so no im on the wating lest 4 anutter sit call archev off r on

**Sadly, you got accepted.**

**WHY AO3!? WHY!**

wich ill put a bakip of this on for if the libruls remov my storey her 2 silance me I cam contenu it their.

**And then your story on there will be deleted.**

**What's taking them so long to delete it?**

I wilnut be sillans Brak Obuma!

**Oh, I think we can silence you. *Holds up Metal Pipe* Do we need to repeat chapter 17?**

**I think we do.**

CHAP 21: THE GUD TEECHER

It was a fwe days latter and Josh was stil in hidan

**The fuck are you doing in Hidan?!**

and we coldnt fine him. So I went on anuther doble dat 2 chickfela with Lauren and Lunk and Ije.

**Seriously, all you care about is dating!**

I was eetin my fod wen sudanly a famelar persan I wasnt excepting cam and sat naxt 2 me.

"Hi Sara" she sed.

"Hi Tiffany" I sed back.

**Who the fuck is she?!**

**Oh Enkindlers! Not Another one!**

It was my englash teecher Miss Dawson but I call her Tiffany

**You shouldn't.**

evan tho in reel life shes ben tell me 2 stap dong that 4 moths and ses shell giv me a dameret if I doit agen.

**Hah.**

In this storey shes ok with it tho.

**You can't alter real people in stories!**

**It's a bitch thing to do!**

Shes relly patent with me evan tho I hav dislexa and wratin is hard.

**No! You are not pulling the Dyslexia card on us! I CALL BULLSHIT!**

**People with dyslexia can write better than this!**

She evan lets me cum in aftar scule sumtims 2 get help with wrating.

**She does? All my teachers let students come in after school.**

I thank that mens wer frends.

**It means she's being a teacher and letting you come in after school to get help.**

**She _needs_ a lot of help.**

I thank dislexa is a chalunge that God mad 4 me

**Shut up.**

jus like he mad girls so much mor atrective than bois

**I find that offensive! Boys are very attractive! We are handsome!**

so thet steying strate wodnt be 2 esy for me and id hav 2 werk at it.

**You shouldn't _have _to work at staying heterosexual if you're heterosexual.**

Im try hard 2 overcum both chelenges so I can hav a gud life and than goto hevan.

**You're a massive bitch, if you get into heaven for that, I don't want to go to Heaven.**

Shes also yung and pritty 4 and smells nise.

**Do you sniff your teachers?**

The onely bad thin is that shes engag 2 Mr Jonson of al pepole

**Aww**

**Congratulations you two!**

in fact I wrot the first chaptar of this storey aftar she cam into class and telled us she was engage.

**I'm happy for the two of them.**

Most of the girls in my class r made abot the engagmant becuz they think Mr Jonson is hawt 4 sum resin but hes an athist librul and hes not gud enuf 4 Tiffany.

**You don't get a say in that.**

**That's like saying Spades isn't good enough to be my friend.**

"I jus braked up with Mr Jonson becuz hes evul" Tiffany sed.

**And my hate for this bitch increases.**

"Cool" I sed. So we all want back 2 manshan togetter. Wen we git 2 the Manshun and Mister Ham flewed up.

"Sara u ned 2 stap brinen new pepol her" Matter Han sed "espeshully withot dong the paparwerk."

**Yeah Sara! Listen to the Master Hand!**

"Master Hanes ur such a jurk why do u hav 2 be that wey" I siad.

**Why are you such a bitch?**

"Its ok Sara" Tiffany sed "Ill do thes relly big globe thins paparwerk."

And so Tiffany left 2 do that. I went 2 the TV scren rom agen 2 see if the evul pepol wer up 2 anythin. Mr Jonson luked sad.

**It's okay Mr. Johnson, it's okay, Sara just fucked up your fiancé so you have every right to fail her and hold her back a grade or two.**

"My gurlfrend braked up with me becuz im evul" he sed.

"Thats ok we shuld probebly tell Samas 2 rap her into a lesban aneway" Barick Amoeba sid.

**Ugh! Just let Samus rap already!**

"Yea go do thet now Becky Samas is prolly in Hom Deepo becuz shes a lesban" Satin sed.

**Shut up about Home Depot already.**

"Ok" Becky sed "I was gon 2 goto their aneway becuz ima lesban 2. Wen Miss Dawson (shes not god enuf frens with Tiffany 2 call her by her furst nam)

**You're not even friends with Miss Dawson. You don't have any right to call her Tiffany. **

is a lesban shell go bye Ms Dawson becuz thats wat librul lesban womens

**Uh, no, Ms is just an abbreviation of Miss.**

**This brat is such an idiot.**

do and than shell giv Sara a F and rap her."

And so Becky laft 2 goto Hom Deepo. I was scarred agen. I had 2 protract Tiffany form becom a lesban!

**You need to leave so everyone can go back to normal!**

Id stap her befor she got 2 Hom Depo but im strate so I didnt no were the neerest on 2 the Manshan was and evan if I did that plaec wold sertenly be fill with 2 many lesbans so I just had 2 protect Tiffany by stayen neer her.

**Become a stalker. Great.**

I want 2 tell everone abot wat I saw. Lauren and Lenk and Icke jonned me in protect Tiffany frum been rap by Samas.

**Just let Samus rap already!**


	23. Chapter 22

**Only 14 chapters left!**

**Yippe!**

B4 u read this chaptar u ned 2 her abot my frist and thenkfuly onely trep 2 Hom Deppo in reel life.

**We don't _want _to hear about real life stories of yours. It's bad enough we hear about your fictional ones.**

I was nin yares old and my dad piked me up from ballot class

**I'm sorry, but I hate ballet. **

but he neded 2 stap by Hom Deepo 2 by sum stuff. He woldnt let me stya in the care becuz the Maxekans han ot outsid of Hom Deepo

**_More _racism?! **

and they wode give me crak and than send me 2 Mexako 2b a chilled prostatoot 4 there drig kartals.

**Oh my Enkindlers. *FAcepalm***

So wen I want insid I got board and wondered awey 4 my dad.

**Smart move. Idiot.**

I got losed and coldnt fin my dad. Son sum woman who werked their waked up 2 me asked me my nam and tolled me shed halp me fine my dad but evan than I new she had 2 be a lesban if she werked at Hom Deepo

**Seriously?**

**And this girl was nine years old at the time. What an idiot.**

and wode jus rap me instead of leding me 2 my dad so I tolled her 2 go awey and runned of and twanty minuets latter I fond my father. It was on of the wurst tims of my lufe.

**Reading this is the worst time of my life**

**Maybe you'll not run off like an idiot next time.**

CHAP 22: ASALT ON HOM DEEPO PART 1 THE PLANE

**What plane?**

**She does not deserve a plane.**

Aftar I told Lauren and Lunk and Ikd abot wat I saw in the tv scren rome I wated 4 Tiffany 2 get dun with her meetin with Mister Hanes.

**I thought she was with Master Hand**

**The hell is Mister Hanes?**

Wen she was dun she came outsid Mastar Hens orifice.

"Becky iz gon 2 Hom Deepo 2 tel Samas 2 rap u" I tolled her.

**No, they're going to Home Depot.**

"Ono" Tiffany sed "we ned 2 do sumthin"

"Dont worry" I sed "Were gonna all protact u"

**Who's going to protect her from you?**

"I thenk that all thes lesbans in Hoem Deppo ned 2 be delt with" Lonk sed.

"But their r 2 maney of tham their" I sed.

***Face Desks* I'm already pissed.**

"Thats wy we hav 2 do sumthin" Tiffany sid "Hom Deepo is the fecal pint of all lesban actevity in the ara."

**Does this world even _have _a Home Depot?**

**I wonder that too.**

"Its 2 dangaros 2 try to fite tham their on there hom terf" I sed. Lauren put her han on my shulder.

"Dont worry Sara we all belev in u" Lauren sed.

**To bad believing in someone doesn't do much.**

"Thank u Lauren" I smoled at her.

**Now. Kiss.**

"So ur atecking Hom Deppo" I tuned tords the dor and Josh was their "how cani help"

**Not YOU!**

"We ned a plane" I sed.

**You don't deserve a plane.**

**If anyone gets a plane it should be the reviewers! That way they can bomb Sara or her story.**

"Ill cum up with on" Tiffany sed "jus brin all the Christen smashers 2 a mating room in an ower."

**Just bring all the christen smashers to a mating room in an owner?**

**The hell is wrong with her?**

So we wated an owar an than went 2 the meting room with all the Christen smashers. Tiffany had a perjactor huked up 2 a commuter and than she stated shoing us her plane.

**So she does have a plane.**

"firt of all we ned 2 splat up in2 2 teems" Tiffany sed "Ill be staying her as mishon contral and luking at a map of Hom Deepo on the intranet to tell u were 2 go thro walkytalkys. Sara and Josh r the teem captens and u ned 2 salect ur teem members. Sara go furst"

**What's this got to do with a plane?**

"I chooz Lauren" I sed.

**I choose Charmander! Charmander! Use Flamethrower!**

**Lauren has fainted. Trainer MC wins.**

"I chooz Master Chef" Josh sid.

"Link" I sed.

"Maryo" Josh sed.

**Why Mario?**

"Icke" I sed.

"Pet" Josh sad.

"Nas" I sade.

"Lookus" Josh sed.

"Loygee" I sadi.

"Tone Lik" Josh saod.

"Sonec" I sed.

**NOT SONIC!**

**Man, this feels like Gym Class Dodgeball with how they're choosing.**

That ment Kerby went with Josh. R teems went ovar 2 us as we called tham.

**You know, when you split up teams, you choose teams based on skills and what each team will be doing.**

**But Sara thinks it Dodgeball Style of choosing.**

Than Tiffany contenued with her plane.

**THERE IS NO PLANE! QUIT LYING!**

"Joshs teem neds 2 fite the Mexakans outsid of Hom Deepo and than baricad the entranses 2 kep renforcments frum ariving. Saras teem will cleer ot all the lesbans frum insid the stor. Wen that part of the misan is complet u ned 2 fined a wracking ball and destroy the stor itsalf ons and 4 all.

**Why...would there be a wrecking ball at Home Depot?**

**It's the author, just try to ignore it.**

**They don't even know how to DRIVE A WRECKING BALL!**

**Anyways, Now I'm thinking of that Miley Cyrus song Wrecking Ball or whatever.**

That well mak mist of the lesbans dispars frum the area."

"This sonds like a plane" I sad.

**THERE IS NO FUCKING PLANE! **

So we all got reddy 2 go 2 the lesban HQ an tak the fit 2 them.

**...It's just a store. Not a HQ.**


	24. Chapter 23

I feneshed shaping 4 Laurens birthday 2day. Hopfully she liks wat I gav her.

**From what we know about you, I think what you got her is more something you like instead of what she likes.**

I havent talked 2 her much in reel life since Sunday but not becuz were akward abot r kiss becuz we didnt kiss and we r strate and not lesbans.

**Aww, did a certain couple have a fight?**

CHAP 23: ASALT ON HOM DEEPO PART 2 INVASHUN OF HOM DEEPO

**Why is it so hard for her to spell?**

**I wish I knew.**

We all aproched Hom Deepo form a hill overloking it. The parken lot was petrol by maxipads.

**Pfft! *Starts giggling***

**...I don't get it? What's so funny?**

They wer speckin spanush insted off inglosh becuz they wer inedible imegrunts.

**Well...I wouldn't say humans are _inedible._**

Joshs teem runned don the hull 2 tham 2 get there attrition.

"kay pasta ombray" the leder of the mexakans sed wich was prolly an insalt in there luggage.

**I didn't know their luggage could insult people, but I'm pretty sure that he just said 'Okay, Pasta, Shadow'.**

"SPECK ENGULSH!" Josh het the mexakan leeder in the fase.

**He did! All but the last word!**

He garbed his sambaro and threwed it lifk a frazbe at Josh but Josh bloked it with his feetbal helmut. Than Josh usd his linbaker skills form fotball 2 tickle the Moxiecan leder. Than the rest of Joshs teem came. They fot the Maxekuns 2. Wile my teem runned into Hom Deepo 2 fite the lesbans.

***Slow clap* What an _amazing _fight scene. I almost gave an actual fuck.**

"Sara wach ot theres lesbans direct 2 ur left (becuz lesbans 2 leftwong)"

**The hell is a 'leftwong'?**

I herd Tiffany say threw my walkytalky. She was on a websat of the intranet that shoed were all the lesbans wer in Hom Deepor and alos were I was.

**...**

I shat the lesbans that wer runnin at me a buncha tims

**Seriously, with how much you do this, I think you should live in the bathroom. You got digestion issues or something?**

and than Likn and Iek ranned ovar and chipped there heeds of 2 maek shur they wer rilly ded and wodnt cum back as lesban zombis.

**No!**

**Do NOT ruin Zombies! I love my Zombie Apocalypse games!**

**Do NOT RUIN ZOMBIES FOR US!**

"Now theres lesbans hidin behind the cheekot lines" Tiffany sed. I threwed sum groinaids at the chekoot lins and blowed up the hidan lesbans. Than we sneeked farther into Hom Deepo.

**I'm pretty sure it's not sneaking anymore.**

**Wow for such a 'loyal Christen' she sure loves to kill.**

**'Thou Shalt Not Murder. Unless Your Name is Sara.' I guess.**

Their wer lotsa lesbans in their 4 us to fite. I used my god powars and my dads shitgun.

**Find a different gun. Please.**

***face desk***

Lauren used marital arts (shes a blokbalt in ty kwahn doe).

**Do I look like I give a fuck?**

Lunk shat aros and boms at the lesbans. Icke dekapitated them with his bug sord. Nas used pk fir on them and Loige did that thin were he flays reely far with a headbutte and Sonec runned reely fat and turd into a boll. We wer in hedcarters of lesbans tho so they kep cumin.

**Pfft!**

**Another descriptive fight scene! Wow!**

Than Samas and Zelsa and Peacg and Evul Clon Sara and Becky came.

**The Five Bad Band.**

The othar lesbans steeped asid 2 let tham thro becuz they wer the most impotent lesbans.

**They're not lesbians though, and LET PEACH GO YOU SICK FUCK!**

"Well well luk who came" Samas sed.

"I thot the Mexakans wod stap u" Celda sed.

**Who's Celda?**

**Evil Clone Zelda?**

**Makes sense.**

"My bruther is fitting tham" I sid.

"Well than he will dye all Maxkuns hav drig kartal tranning so they no how 2 fite reel gud" Patch saod.

**I'm pretty sure trained fighters can whoop a football players ass. So, Go Mexicans!**

"And were gunna rap u and Lauren 2 mak up 4 all the lesbans u killed b4 r massev orgi 2day" Evul Clon Sara sed.

**How's that make up for the death of them?**

"And than well all go2 the Manshan and rap Miss Dawson and Mister Hanned will letus becuz he is tolarent of r evul gay agrnda" Becky sed.

**I'm pretty sure he's not tolerant of rape.**

"No ill stap u" I sed.

"Ha theres onley a few of u and alota us" Becky sed "and im fat enuff 2 cont 4 lik ten pepole wile u and Lauren r so thin and pritty and stuf."

**There is the self centered bitch we know and hate.**

**When did she leave?**

**She hadn't gone on any rant about how she's 'so pretty' or how Becky is 'so fat'. YOU'RE NOT FAT BECKY! **

"But u forgat on thin I hav God on my sid" I sed.

**God has to be drunk to be on your side. He has to!**

"But were athists so we wershap Satin and dont beleve in God" Samas sed.

**That's not what an Atheist is! Oh my Enkindlers! *Face Palm X2***

"And that wy u well los" I sid "wen God crated the Erth SIX THOSAND YARS AGO

**I'm not getting into that territory...**

**You know, there is a thing called exaggeration. Why can't you be a person who understands that some of the things could be exaggerated . Like the 7 days weren't really days but years or centuries...but God still made it? Ugh. I'm just...Why can't you be like Becky Baker from Degrassi? Have her views? Then you would be more tolerable! **

he mad sur that gud wold alweys triamp ovar evul!"

**Yeah... he's not been doing that good of a job it seems.**

"Lol ur stooped Erth is billons of yars old nut six thosand" Becky sad.

**Becky is right. We got proof of it being billions of years old.**

"No ur wron and u libruls r usen ur byasd carban doting

**What?**

**What?**

2 lye 2 the pepole and try 2 undmane the werd of GOD!" I sed. I actived my finel smush and gut reedy 2 fite all the lesbans at onse.

**Not Angel Form again!**


	25. Chapter 24

**(Edited because some of the underline didn't show up. :P **

**First thing to say: Sara wrote a new story for Attack on Titan, we have been reading her story and i- **

**IT SUCKS!**

**Yes. It sucks.**

**How the fuck do you assume that ARMIN IS CHRISTA'S TWIN SISTER?! I can understand thinking the guy is a girl but how the fuck can you assume he's Christa's sister!? They weren't even from the same area!**

**Just shows the bitch doesn't pay attention to the show.**

**She needs to step away from Attack on Titan. NOW.**

**Anyways letsstartthestory! *Nervous laugh and backs away from Spades***

Ho meny tims doi hav 2 say it IM NOT A LESBAN AND NETHER IS LAUREN

**You kissed. You shouldn't have told us that if you didn't want us to call you out on being gay.**

and im not in dental.

**Of course you're not in teeth. You're in denial.**

Also I have anothar day of from skule on Mundy becuz of Marten Loother Kin Day. I forgat what he ded 2 get a holaday

**...**

**You...forgot what he did? Are you mentally disabled.**

but hes blak so he was prolly the first MVP of the NBA or sumthin.

**Oh my fucking god.**

I wondar if their will be a Lebran Jams day sumday I liek the Mami Heet becuz they wine all the tim and sens all baskatbell tems r filed with libruls I dont have any otter way to chooz wich tem to rout 4.

***Demon Mode Active***

**All we did was read the motherfucking Authors Note and I'm already Demon Mode!**

CHAP 24: ASALT ON HOM DEEPO PART 3 SARA CONCURS HOM DEPPO

**The fuck?**

Insanely

**Make's sense, you're a fucking nut job!**

wen I activeted my finale smish a buncha lesbans leept 2 pine me to the grond but I mad a fors feld that disinterested them. Than I fird sum mor beems of hevanly lite that vaparized mor lesbans. Than Peech fgarbed a chansaw frum on off the shelvs and runned at me weth them.

**GO PEACH! MAKE ME PROUD!**

I graped the chansaw blad and riped the cghan of wile it was ranning and than knacked Peech asid an she was unconshus.

**Oh God! Chainsaws don't work against her!**

Son it was cleer 2 them that I hed wone and Becky gat ot her fone and culled Satin and Derek Obauma. Saddenly a porthole opaned up 2 Subspas.

**RETREAT! **

"Hurray getin" Oibama sed. Becky and Evul Clon Sara and Samas jumps into the porthole and Zelda tred 2 fillow them but Lonk used the cootball skills that Josh tot him 2 tackal Zelda and the porthole closed b4 she cold get 2 it. Than Oak noked her unconshus.

**Professor?!**

**What are you doing there?**

"I see onlin that u nocked Peech and Zalda unconshus" Tiffany sid.

**Damn it Peach!**

"Yea" I sed "Shud we kill them b4 they wak up"

"No. I hav an ida. Ty them up and brin them 2 my rome wen ur dun with destoryin Hom Deppo" Tiffany sade.

***Face Palm* I got a bad feeling. **

"ok" I sod.

So aftar I got rod of al the lesbans that wer stil in hidden I walked outsid and Link climed into the wreking ball masheen and destructed Hom Deepo.

**And you can drive one, how?**

Aftar that was dun we hird a consecration teem 2 build a new shaping mall there and they wold hav gards 2 mak shur gays and lesbans didnt cum inside.

**I _really _hate this story.**

Than we laft 2 retune 2 Tiffanys rom with the unconshud Zedla and Peech. Alon the wat they waked up.

"Hey will u leyus go so wecan rap u" Zeda sed.

"No" I sed.

**Let them go.**

"But yule lik been a lesban" Peech sed "Evul Clon Sara is a lesban and shes relly hapy."

**She is.**

**She might even be smarter than Sara.**

"But shes gong 2 hell" I sade "I chooz 2 be strate 2 goto hevan."

**Oh my God! *Face Palm* I can see why you have your Enkindlers now Spades.**

"U ned 2 stap lissen 2 ur parants their is no haven and Lord Staten will be nise 2 u in hell" Zepda sad.

**I'm sorry, but if there is no Heaven then how the Hell is there a Hell? You're logic is flawed.**

"No Stan is evul and ur a lyar!" I shatted "NOW SHADDAP OR ILL NOK BOTH OF U UNCONSHUS AGEN!"

**Please! I would rather be knocked out than listen to you!**

Tesla amd Peevh shat up. Son we retuned 2 the Manshan.

**Who's Tesla and Peevh?**

"Sara wy did u destruct Hom Deepo" Mastar Hend sed he was watting outsid the frant dore.

**Yes Sara, why?**

"Becuaz thats were all the lesbans comgragat" I sad.

"That dosent mater u ned 2 be tolerate and wy r Peech and Zelda tid up" Matter Hemp sedd.

**Yes, Sara. Why?**

"Becuz Tiffany wants 2 c tham in her romo" I sid.

"Why" Nastier Hen sed.

"I dont no but it sonds impotent" I sed.

"Ok but u ned tobe punash 2 destoryen Hom Deepo. So no mor maches 4 u untel I say so!" Mastar Han flayed of.

**Yay!**

"I cant beleve Mister Hond.

**I can. He's the only sane character left.**

**Yet she sees him as a bad guy.**

"Hes suck a stooped jurk!" Lauren sed. She huged me becuz she new I felt bad abot my unfar punashmant.

**Unfair? You went on a fucking killing spree and destroyed a store! I say you got a pretty fucking lenient punishment! If I did that I would be in jail! Or a mental hospital! OR BOTH!**

We toke Paech and Zeald 2 Tiffanys room.

"Ok there her" I sed "why dou want 2 tid up lesbans in ur room they mite brake free and rap u."

**They're already tied up.**

"Good Sara" Tiffany sed "Dont wary abot me I hav a gun and Im getin Master Chef 2 be my armed gard (ALL SKULES SHUD HAV ARMED TEECHERS AND ARMED GARDS

**My school does have an armed police officer. **

BARK OBAMAS KIDS SCULE HAS THOS BUT HE DOESNT WANT ANY OTTER SCOL 2 BECUZ HE DOESNT CAR ABOT ANY1 ELSES KIDS BUT HIS ON HE JUS WANTS 2 TAK AWEY EVERONES GUNS).

**I really hate this.**

Asfor wy I ned thes to well I ned 2 test thins on tham becuz IM GONA ADVENT A CUR 4 HOMASEXALITY!"

**You can't _cure _sexuality! Oh my fucking God! That's it! I don't care if your thirteen Sara! If I ever meet you in real life, prepare to be beaten to a pulp! By Spades!**

**...Why are you deciding that I'm going to beat the crap out of someone for me?**

**Well aren't you?**

**Yeah.**


	26. Chapter 25

**Ten chapters left! Yay!**

**Also it's just me today, Spades is busy studying for a Chemestry Test so she won't be in any reviews today. On that note, she forgot to upload the new chapter to her Hidden Prophecies Review. She's going to email it to me later and I'll upload it for her. But, since it's just me, expect more chapters today.**

**But again; TEN FUCKING CHAPTERS LEFT! WE'RE ALMOST DONE!**

Im so exited its onley 1 wek until Laurens Birthday!

**Well I wish her a happy birthday. I know she's not a bitch like you.**

To bad Okamis secant interrogation is on Moonday wich sorta runis the day of from scool. He didant reely win the electron

**Uh, yes, he did. **

goto barackofraudodotcom to lern the TRUTH abot his VADER FROG

**One; looks like I got a site to check out. After all, I didn't know he was lying about his Vader Frog. What secrets did he keep from us about that frog?**

**Two; The hell is a Vader Frog? Darth Vader in Frog form?**

and wy Mutt Rambo shuld be presadent now becuz hes the 1 who relly win.

**Mutt Rambo wasn't even in the election. I never even heard of Mutt Rambo.**

CHAP 25: THE SERCH 4 A CUR

**Find a cur, feed a cur, tame a cur. I wonder if she knows a cur is a dog.**

For the naxt few days Tiffany was on the intranet loking up the cur 4 homasaxelty.

**Because of _course _it will be on the internet.**

Lauren and Me helped her with thus. I was so excite becuz of the cur not becuz I neded it becuz im alredy compliantly strate

**Can you _please _come out of your closet? We already know you and Lauren are dating.**

but becuz it culd help alota pepole lik Peech

**PEACH!**

and Zetta and Mark and Snopes and Kung Deedee and Clod who wer all organically Christens but wer turn gay wile I was in the Mashon.

**Wouldn't have happened if you hadn't arrived.**

Maryo sudanly came.

**Get lost Mario. You failed to protect Peach. You are a disgrace.**

"Did u devalop a cur 4 my girlfrend Peech yet" Marik sed.

"Im nit ur gurlfrend anemone im a lesban now" Peech sed.

**I can't blame her for dumping him, to be honest. But I feel bad for Mario.**

"Thats a no than" Maryo laft the rom disapoint.

"In ordar 2 figur ot a cur I ned 2 no wy pepole turd gay wen rapped by gays and lesbans.

**That's simple! *Puts on geek glasses and a lab coat* They turn gay after rape in this story because the author is a complete and utter idiot.**

Their has 2 be a resin forit" Tiffany sed

**The reason is Sara.**

Sara and Lauren goto the librery and get as menuy boks as u can fine."

**I don't think the library can help. In any other research project it could but this? Nope.**

So Me and Lauren want 3 the libray 2 find boks abot how pepol tune gay.

**I don't think there are books like that. But I could be wrong. **

Mastar Hends libya was the bigast anywere so it was harrd 2 find the rite boks we runned into Crapy Hanes.

**Hello, Crappy Hanes. You know where we can find Crazy Hands?**

"Do u no were ur bruther keps the boks abot why pepole turn gayu" I sed.

**I guess there really are books like that.**

"Yes but he telled me not 2 toll u becuz u ned 2 be tolerate and nut try 2 chang pepole" Crazy Hind sid.

**Master Hands is the best. He is horrible OOC but he is great in this story.**

"Ill giv u munny" I sed.

"ok ill halp u" Crazy Hung

**Seriously...? Just like that?**

flayed of and came beck with lotsa boks that we neded I gav him munny and leaved the rom and want beck 2 Tiffanys rome.

**I guess there is lots of books on this. All of them are wrong though.**

"Yes thes boks will halp" she sed "now I ned 2 do som reserch so brin be bak sumthin form Chikfela.

**Seriously?! Is this girl obsessed with that restaurant?! You don't see me going 'Okay this chapter was awful, lets go to the Country Kitchen!' 'Oh! It's over. Okay let's head over to the Country Kitchen for some homemade pies'. 'I'm bored, let's go get a Spicy Philly Melt from the Country Kitchen'.**

**...**

**Country Kitchen's Spicy Philly Melts are awesome.**

So Me and Lauren and Luke and Ine went 2 Chikfela and got som fod and eat it and then ordared tak ot 4 Tiffany and tolled everone wat she was dong and the pepole that werked there gav us Tiffanys fodo 4 free becuz she was werkin on a gud claus

**Oh my God!**

and they sed thed halp in aneway they cold. We brot Tiffany beck the free fod.

**You don't _deserve _free food.**

**I swear, if she ever became a world leader, I'm going to make a rebellion.**

"I fond ot sumthin impotent" Tiffany sed "Samas and Capten Fapping wernt turn gay buy rap butt bye govermint vaksine!"

**Oh yeah, that was from a chapter in the single digits.**

"o yea" I remambered that.

**How did you even know that?**

"So we ned 2 fin the vaksine and than make it the opasit so it curs homasexelty insted off makin pepole gay" Tiffany telled us

**So, an English Teacher is an awesome scientist and can do this shit? **

...

**Okay than.**

"I ned 2 reserch this sum moar aftar I eet."

***face desk***

She ate the Chikefla fod and than retuned 2 her wirk. It wuz a few days latter wen she fond ot mor abot the vaksine.

"I hev god news and bed nesw. The gud noose is I fond ot were the vaksine is" she sed "u ned 2 get it so I can fin ot whats init so I can mak it the opasit and cur homasexality."

***Goes on a long rant about how you can't 'cure' sexualities and that there is no way she knows how to do all the shit she's about to do***

"ok ill do that" I sed.

"Wats the bed news" Lauren sid.

"The bed nos is Barracks Epona keps the vaksine in a secrete rom of the wite hose naxt 2 his planes 4 wite slavary.

**Not that much of a secret then.**

Its reely secrete and noone nos abot it so itll be hard 2 find and he well try 2 stap u becuz the wite hose is were he livs" Tiffany sod "u ned 2 us steelth 2 brake in and git the vaksine so onely bring a few pepole."

**We already know who she's going to bring: Lauren, Link, Ike, and Josh or whatever his name is will probably show up**

I desided 2 brin Lauren and Fink and Uke. We hed 2 snape in2 the wite hose!

**I was right. **


	27. Chapter 26

Hello agen everone its Sonday so I hop u all went 2 chirch.

**Dude, I can't go to church on Sunday. I work from 7 to 2 on weekends. **

If u dont u well go2 HELL!

**Like I said; I HAVE A FUCKING JOB. Unlike _you._**

I cant beleve its ben a munch sense I publashed this on Fanfectiondotnat.

**Sadly, it took that long to delete it too.**

Tim reely files. Thanx 2 everone who laft me gud revews in that tim!

**Seriously...just why would anyone leave her a good review?**

This is my furst archev of or onw excloosev chaptar becuz Barik Oboma fond ot abot my storey on

**_Sure. _Blame the President despite him not having anything to do with your shitty story other than the fact that you put him in it.**

CHAP 26: SNEKING IN2 THE WITE HOSE

**...*Realization hits* HOW THE FUCK IS THE WHITE HOUSE IN NINTENDO?!**

**Did she FORGET she's in the Nintendo world or something?!**

**Oh my God! I CAN'T BELEIVE I JUST NOW REALIZED THIS! *Smacks head into desk repeatedly***

That nite Me and Lauren and Lank and Ice went 2 the Wite Hose in Wassinton CD.

**It's DC.**

**You know what. I'm not taking any chances. *Equips Fire Armor and Flame Sword* I am completely ready to turn this chapter into a pile of ashes. **

We hed 2 thank ofa plane 2 sneek insid.

**It's not easy to sneak into the White House, but of course they are going to turn it into the easiest thing ever.**

We want 2 the Chikfela in the city 2 talk abot r plan becuz anewere eels wod caus libruls 2 eevsdrap onus and warned Brak Odama.

**Oh my God! Just! SHUT UP ABOUT THAT PLACE ALREADY!**

**Also, I'm pretty sure the 'liberals' would go there too.**

Sudanly as we were taking Guvaner Mit Ramney and Cangressmen Pal Rain and Speeker of the Hoes Jan Boner waked in2 the restarnt.

***Raises sword* Hello, Mitty. **

"Hi Sara" Mott Roomie sid.

"Hi guys" I sed.

**And so, apparently it seems that a idioitic thirteen year old is best friends with three Government officials. The Bullshit Meter broke after excessive use and maxing out, so I can't tell you the level of bullshit on that.**

"God telled us what u wer dong and asked us 2 help u brake into the wite hose" Andrew Ryan sed.

**They are so going to lose their jobs.**

"Yes were also ned 2 get the planes 4 wite slavry becuz were all wite and dont wana be slavs 2 the blecks and the mixalots and the aslans" Guvanir Raimi sed.

_**Well. **_**Maybe it's time you learned how they felt when they were slaves. But, THERE IS NO PLAN FOR WHITE SLAVERY! ARGH!**

_**...**_**Calm down, M.C...Calm down...**

"Cool" I sed "Tiffany sed there in the sam rom."

"ok" Congrassmen Reyn sed.

**She knows 0 about the people she's writing about.**

So we all want 2 the wite hose and entred threw the front dore. Suddenly a buncha libruls atecked us!

**Well, duh, you just broke in USING THE FRONT DOOR! Seriously! YOU NEVER USE THE FRONT DOOR!**

Me and Lauren and Lkni and Iek and Rian and Boner stated fitting them. Butthan Ramnoy pulled ot alota munny and pade the libruls to leev becuz libruls r pore and lik gettin mony 4 noting.

**Ohmygod! Go to your happy place. Go to your happy place...Imagine Sara being burned at a stake...Fire...**

Than we loked 4 Barek Obsamas ovary orifice

**Ovary Orifice.**

**You can not read that and not laugh.**

becuz that leaded 2 The Room.

_**Another **_**The Room?!**

Suddanly Barak Ebauma cam outta a roon wering pajamas with pictars of Lennon and Stallion and Car Max al with harts around tham.

**"What are you doing in here?! IM TRYING TO MOTHERFUCKING SLEEP!"**

"Hey watter u dong in my hose!" he sed.

**A very good question.**

"Were is the vaksine that cases gayness! Tellus or well beet u up!" I sid.

**Sara is so going to jail if she did this in real life.**

Suddanly Brad Obooma puled ot a reed lifesaver!

**Reed flavored lifesavers? Bad weapon of choice.**

He was a Seth Lird!

**HAPPY PLACE WHERE ARE YOU?! THEY'RE BRINGING IN STAR WARS!**

It was werd that he was a librul with a red litsabar and im was a consergatev wiyh a blu lutsaber but I guess star wares gotit moxed up.

**WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET A LIGHTSABER?! What? You want a red one? Make's sense since you're EVIL.**

"Go find The Room ill fit the presadent" I tolled Lauren and everone else. Than I startad fitting Brake Obbema. We fot r way 2 the rom in the wite hose with a catwalp ovar labia.

**Heh.**

"Giv up Sara u well loose" Ovama sed.

**If only she would.**

"No Impala I well beet u becuz God ison my sid" I saod.

**God. Get off her sid.**

"No Im gonna knak u unconshus and than get a lesban 2 rap u so ull be an evul lesban lik Evul Clon Sara" Opana sed.

**Why not just kill her?**

"Wy do u went everone 2 tune gay arent u strate u hav a wife" I sed.

**Good question.**

Butthan Mishell Obuma runned in and puled don "her" paints and reveled that "she" was a MAP with a PENS!

**So, the First Lady is actually a map, and has several pens.**

**Nope. No logic.**

"No u no the trooth" Brock Obana sed.

"But ho do u hav 2 dotters" I sed.

**Good questions.**

"In a few yars ill get sugary 2 turn my pens in2 a vegeta

**So, you're going to turn your pens into a Saiyan prince.**

and than ill get preggant and giv barf 2 tham

**Barf. That one word describes this chapter.**

and sand them back in tim with r tim masheen" Mishell Ogama sid.

"hunny dont tell Sara abot r tim masheen!" Barek Obamuh sed "it was a gif from Lord Saten!"

**And now we know she's going to time travel.**

"Its ok werent u gonna defet her and find a lesban 2 rap her son aneway" Mishell Opana sed "I want 2 tel her sumthin eels first. U mite no me by my old nam."

Suddanly Mishell Ubama stated monwelking acros the crapwhelk.

"MIKAL JAKSAN!" "she" sed "I fakked my on deth and tuned mysalf blak agen and pretanded 2 be a women so I cold mary my gay luver Bark Oabma."

**...**

**Happy place...damn it...what's taking you so long?! I need you now! I _really _need you now!**

***The entire room is suddenly light on fire, the floor turning into rocks and the fire growling larger.***

_**There **_**you are!**

"Ull nevar git awey with thes" I sed.

"Yes we well" Barok Ohonda and Mikal Jaxun sed.

**GO President and Singer**

Suddanly Lauren and Lunk and Ico and Renesmee

**Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stop!**

**Renesme?! What the Hell is she doing there?!**

**Oh God she's a Twilight fan too!**

and Reyn and Boner runned passed the dore

"we got the vaksine and the savory planes"

**No! you don't deserve planes! Let alone savory ones!**

they sed. So I jamped ovar Bork Odom and Mikhail Jaksan and runned outta the wite hose witjh my frends. Wen we got otsid I telled them the dark secrete I lerned.

**It wasn't that much of a dark secret. **

"now giv us the planes and the vaksine and well take the vaksine 2 Tiffany and make the planes pubic so wecan impasse Opoona and his gay luver and fail there evul planes" Rimnet set.

**I really hope Sara goes to jail for doing something she does in this story in real life. Like ATTACKING THE PRESIDENT!**

**Oh my God! this is just horrible!**

So we gav the planes and the vaksine 2 the tree consarvetav poletishens butt they stated laffing evully. They riped of there musks and reveled that they werent the reel Matt Ronmey and Pual Rany and Jan Boner atall!

**Yeah...Masks. I'm going to pretend they actually ripped their faces off.**

They were Becky and Evul Clon Sara and Goleth in disguys!

**...How did they not notice the boobs and the giant? I'm pretty sure a mask wont disguise that.**

"Were r the reel pepole!" I sed.

"we tarped them in Sunspas and son Barek Ibama and Mikal Jaksan will rap them and tune them gay so thell be spys 4 the Democrat Party" Becky sed.

**No one gives a shit.**

"We hev 2 sav tham!" Lauren sed.

"Ull hev 2 fite us firts!" Evul Clon Sara sed. She throwed the planes and the vaksine 2 Golath who runned away with them.

**...Why not just rip up the planes and destroy the vaccine. So much easier. But nope. Plot demands they remain unharmed so Sara can take them back.**

**...Damn this story is awful.**


	28. Chapter 27

**Spades is back, just so you know.**

**I'm really sorry you had to deal with the last two chapters by yourself, M.C. but at least you survived and- *looks at number of reviews*...heehee**

**...Yep. Spades is back.**

Happy Matin Loothar Ken Day everone!

**Do you know who MLKJ is finally?**

**Or do you still think he's just an MVP for the NBA?**

And boo 4 the falsy-elacted presadents secant inebriation!

**Here we go again...**

I gess Ill be rooting 4 the Revans in the supper boll becuz the 69ers r frum Sen Frensisko so there antire teem is prolly gay.

**Oh my Enkindlers.**

I wantad the Felkans 2 win the NCF Champagneshap but they didnt becuz the reefs prolly were gay 2 and riged the gam.

**Can you just _shut up?!_**

**You are the worst homophobe I have ever met!**

CHAPTAR 27: EVUL CLON SARAS FENAL SMASH

**If Sara's is an...angel *Represses rage mode* then is Evil Clone Sara's going to be a fallen Angel?**

**Make's sense but I doubt it.**

"Theirs 4 of us and onely 2 of u so giv up" Lauren sed.

**Evil never gives up.**

"And I have the powars of DOG!" I sid.

**Yes! You have the powers of a dog! That means you really are a bitch.**

**Bitch = Female Dog. She has just confirmed it herself.**

"Well I hev the powars of Saten and Adama!" Evul Clon Sara sed.

**we know.**

"They wont be enuf 2 beet nme" I sed.

**Sadly, they wont, because Sara is a major Mary Sue.**

"Yes thay well!" Evul Clon Sara sed.

"Ill fite the othars hunny" Becky gave Evul Clon Sara a discussing kis on the lisp.

***Face Palm***

Lark and Spike

**WHO THE FUCK IS SPIKE AND LARK?!**

atecked Becky with there sords but she was so fat that they coldnt cut throo 2 her blud vassals thro her thik layar of obasety.

**I. Have. Had. Enough. Fat. Jokes.**

**Same.**

***HIGHBLOOD RAGE MODE ACTIVE***

***DEMON MODE ACTIVE***

**Can you just STOP RANTING ABOUT BECKY BEING FAT?! Oh my God! IT JUST MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A BIGGER FUCKING BITCH THAN YOU ALREADY ARE!**

**Seriously! How would you feel if we wrote a story, put you in it as the biggest idiot alive who thinks she's the best when she is really just the fucking worse? Wait! That would actually be pretty fucking accurate.**

**I just...Every time you talk or write something it makes me want to beat you to a pulp! With a porcupine!**

***Demon Mode Deactive***

***Highblood Rage Mod Deactive***

**I feel better now.**

**Glad we got that out of our systems.**

Lauren tred to panch her but her fist bonced of.

**Grrr...**

**Arrrgh!**

Meenwile I was fitting Evul Clon Sara we were evanly powared becuz she was my clon. I new there was onely on way 2 became mor powarful than her. So I actived my finale smash!

**Oh God! You make Angels look so God damn awful!**

"Ha! Now u dont steand a chans aganst me!" I sed. But Evul Clon Sara jus stated laffin. Than she actived her finale smash 2. I didnt evan no she cold do that.

***face Palm Combo X 10***

Her finalle Smash mad her gro a hole buncha wongs lik Stepharoth the evul lady form Clods gam (shes prolly a lesban becuz ho evul she is and she has a manely vois in kindam harts 2).

***Grabs Sara and punches her repeatedly* QUIT ASSUMING PEOPLE ARE LESBIANS WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SHIT! *Throws her off a cliff***

**If only you actually did that...**

"Ono" I sed. I new I was in 4 ther fit of my lief. We stated atecking each otter and I shat holly bemas and she shat demonstrative banes.

**So, she has an army of Banes she's throwing as a demonstration?**

We war stall evanly powared. So I preyed 2 God 4 advise.

**Oh my Enkindlers! GOD JUST KILL HER ALREADY! I'M BEGGING YOU!**

"Remamber! Evul Clon Sara cums form u!" God sed. Than I had a idiot.

**You _are_ an idiot.**

I plased my han on Evul Clon Saras cheat and apsorbed her back in2 me! Than, b4 my finale Smash wore of I opaned a porthole 2 Hell that suked Becky in. I new Satin wode jus let her ot agen but she wod not have a fun tim 4 the littal bit she was their. Than my finale smash wored of and I falled on the grond.

**Did you die in the fight?**

**I have urge to kill rising.**

"Sara r u ok?" Lauren sed.

"U want 2 hav lesban sax Lauren" I herd Evul Clon Sara in my hed.

**You can't 'absorb' your clones. Just saying.**

"No im strate!" I shatted.

"Wat?" Lauren sed.

"I apserbed Evul Clon Sara 2 beet her but no shes in my hed tryin 2 contral my thots and tune me in2 a lesban!" I sed.

**You already are one.**

"Ono!" Lauren sed.

"We ned 2 fin the vaksine 2 mak a cur 4 homasexalty!" Lick sed.

"But Golath runned of with it!" Ice sad.

**GO GOLIATH!**

Suddanly Josh waked up caring Goaleths savered hed in on han and the vaksine and wite slavry planes in the othar.

**URGE TO KILL SKYROCKETING!**

"Hi everone I saw Golith runing with these so I killed him and taked them" he sed. He saw me wrathin in pane on the grond "wats wron with Sara?"

**"Oh she's always like this"**

"RAP LAUREN MAK LAUREN UR LESBAN LUVER RAP LAUREN" Evul Clon Saras thots flewed thro me hed. I coldnt speek (if u evar saw Lord of the Wangs Fallowshep off the Ron wen Frollo gets stab by the cloaky badguy and colapses and they thank hell tune in2 on of tham 2 so the girl frum Armegalodon taks hem 2 the alf town sumthin lik that is happen 2 me in this storey rite now).

**OH DO NOT BRING LORD OF THE RINGS INTO THIS!**

**YOU ARE GIVING US MORE REASONS TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND FEED YOU TO SHARKS.**

"Ty... ty... me up" was all I maneged 2 get ot.

"We ned 2 tak her 2 Tiffany" Lauren sed. So they ted me up and caryed me bak 2 the Manshan. Will Tiffany fine a cur in tim b4 Evul Clon Sara taks ovar and I becum a lesban? Fined ot naxt tim!

**We already know the answer.**


	29. Chapter 28

**Hello! Welcome to the Spades and M.C show! The show where to take authors of bad stories- like Mission from God- and play Dunk Tank. With Sharks. Today's author is...Princess America. Better known as Sara.**

**Spades, don't get their hopes up.**

**Well, we can fantasize can't we?**

Im bak 2 scule agen. Its gud 2 c Tiffany agen but I hav 2 call her Miss Dawson in class or shell giv me a damerit and 3 of thos is a ditenshun

**If she doesn't like you calling her by her first name don't call her by her first name.**

and my parants well be made at me if I get on of thos. I relly lik the outfet that Tiffany wore 2day shes almos as pritty as Lauren and shes a relly gud teecher. I wish she braked up with Mr Jonson in reel life lik she did in my story.

**She admits to changing people to suit her opinions and story.**

**I hate people like her.**

**We all hate people like her.**

CHAP 28: TIFFANY FINES THE CUR

**She put a fine on the cur.**

**Poor dog was fined.**

I spant the naxt few days in Tiffanys rome. Evul Clon Sara was sloly take ovar my mined. I falt sinfel dasires 2 rap evary women I sawed.

**Serves you right to be tortured.**

***Cracks Knuckles* But we still hate you.**

But I stell noed it was wron so I wasnt a lesban. Prolly my God Powars protracted me frum lettin Evul Clon Sara complately tak ovar. Butt I new Tiffany had 2 hury.

**Can't you just die already?**

Evantully Tiffany came with a nedle.

"Im gonna inject this in u" she sed.

"IM GONNA RAP U!" I sed but it was relly Evul Clon Sara contralin my thots.

**Rap your heart out, Sara.**

Master Chef ponted his trankwilezar gun at me in cas I braked free and tred 2 rap Tiffany.

**The Chief doesn't need a gun to subdue Sara. **

Tiffany stucked the nedle in my amr and sudanly I falt a wav of putrefaction clansen my sole of the gayness and son I was as strate as I was b4 absarbin Evul Clon Sara (complately 100 percant strate pepole!).

**Yeah. We don't believe you.**

**Hard to believe anything you say is the truth. You _are _a natural liar.**

"It werked" I sid.

"Ok thats grate heres a presant" she pulled ot sumthin and handad it 2 me. It was a Hom Deppo gift card.

**I'll take that. I need some new paint.**

"Ew whyd u giv me this" I throwed it on the grond.

"Becuz I had 2 mak sur it relly werked and u werent jus try 2 trik me" Tiffany sed "Unty her Mister Chafe."

**...Where did _you _get a Home Depot gift card?**

**Hah! You are caught red handed!**

Muster Cheef untyd me wile Tiffany injacted Peech and Zoltan with the cur 2 and tey tuned strate agen 2.

**Peach! **

**I'm not even going to bother ranting about how you can't cure a sexuality. This girl is just to big of an idiot to understand. It's sad to think that she's in eighth grade but has the intelligence of a six year old.**

"Yay! Were strate agen!" they sed.

"Ok now we ned 2 cur everone" I sid. Furst we fond the pepole who used 2 be consarvetiv (March and Salted Snap and Kin Deede and Clod) and curred tham.

**I don't think they appreciate you 'curing' them. **

"Hi Sara. Sorry I was gay. Can we dat agen" Marht sed.

"Well Im daten Lunk no" I sed.

**Wow.**

"Its ok ill dat Zeda no that shes strat agen 2" Lonk sed.

"ok" I sid.

**Oh my Enkindlers *Face Palm* She will use any tactic to jump from one boy to another.**

"ok were dun no rite" Lank sed.

"No we shud do the rite thin and cur the libruls 2" Lauren sed.

**At least Lauren isn't a complete douche in this.**

So we went thro the Manshan curring all the libruls of there gayness and maken tham consarvetev.

**You can't! Oh God! I just want to strangle this girl!**

"Im so sorry I tred 2 rap u al thos tims lets go shaping sumday" Samas sed 2 me wen we curred her "but 2 a gud stort not Hom Deepo."

***Face Palm* Okay, I need to listen to some Get Scared to get through this. I have reached my limit of how much of this shit I can take.**

**So have I.**

"I destructed Hom Deppo remamber" I sed.

"O yea" Samas sed "but theres other Hom Deepos in the wrold and I dont wanna go2 any of tham anemor."

**Seriously...Sara should be arrested for this. **

**HOW THE FUCK IS THERE A HOME DEPOT IN THE NINTENDO WORLD?! ARE THEY EVEN IN THE NINTENDO WORLD ANYMORE?!**

**Yeah, I was wondering that too. Just shows the level of intelligence of the author. *Gets hit with a brick for insulting the author _too _much*...All right, I _might _be sounding like a douche now, but I speak only the truth.**

Soon all of the smashars wer curred and wer on r sid.

"Saten and Oblama dont stand a chans!" I sed.

Sudanly God walked in.

**GET LOST! I don't like you anymore! You fucking asshole! You gave SARA powers! NOTHING YOU CAN DO CAN MAKE ME FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT STUPIDITY!**

"Acshully Satin figared ot what u ded and no he sumaned lotsa damons from Hell 2 gard Subspas and there relly powarfel and stuf. U will ned everone 2 halp u sav Mit Rmoney and Pail Rayn and Jin Boner" God sed "and I brot 3 mor allys 4 thes."

**Oh God! MORE PEOPLE!?**

Suddanly the 3 gratest presadents in histary waked in. They war Tomes Jafersan and Roland Regen and Ann Rand!

**Who the fuck is Ann Rand?**

**Uh, no. The three greatest presidents were George Washington (Obvious reasons), Abraham Lincoln (Obvious reasons), and Franklin Roosevelt (He helped restore the US after the Great Depression) **

**But cue more fucked up history.**

Tomes Jafersan wrot the constatushan and invanted freedam. Roland Regen defeeted the comies buy knaking don all the walls in the Saviet Onion wich mad the seelings fall on al the comansts and kill them. And Ann Rand wrot Atlus Shagged wichis the most impotent bok evar expect 4 the Bibal.

***Face Palm***

***Triple Face Palm***

***Looks up Ayn Rand* SHE WASN'T A PRESIDENT! Oh My Enkindlers!**

I new we had 2 hurry if we wanted 2 sav the consarvetav polynesians frum Brock Obumeh and Mikal Jaxan and Stan.

**I swear, when this is over, I am going to go on an angry rampage, I've been holding back so much anger at this story.**


	30. Chapter 29

Sory 4 the lat updet.

**No one cares.**

I hed alota homwerk becuz Mr Jonson wants us 2 do the stuped siens fare and the reely lon repart (lik 5 tiped pages) is doo 2morow.

**Seriously? Wait until you get into highschool, your amount of homework is going to double. I get Chemistry, Algebra and 11th grade English homework every. single. day. **

**How much do you want to bet that Sara is failing all her classes?**

Also I hed anotter tutaring season with Tiffany and she gav me sum lesions 2 do to halp with my wratin.

**Obviously it isn't working. Your spelling is still pretty bad.**

**IM DROWNING IN ALL OF THIS FUCKING RED!**

But thats ok becuz Tiffany is a gud teecher. Its reely cold ot I cant wate 4 the wekand wen Ill hav Lauren 2 kep me warm (but not in a lesban way).

**Heh, just shut up about her and we wont assume your going to be having sex this weekend.**

**Seriously, you cant say 'and I'll have Lauren to keep me warm' and not expect us to not to assume you're going to have sex.**

CHAP 29: SAV THE POLATESHANS

**I actually hate politicians **

Everone want 2 Subspas and there was demans everwere.

**Hey Spades! It's your family!**

**Oh shut it. We both know they'd be my servants. **

They atecked us. I tred 2 fite on but it was extramely powarfel.

**Yay, it's powerful**

I coldnt evan hurt it. And there was lik a tun of tham 2 fit!

**Will she lose? Yes!**

**If only.**

Wen I actived my finale smosh I menaged 2 beet it. But there were 2 maney.

**Yes! She's being overwhelmed!**

And non of my allys cold us there finale smashs withot a smash bull. I new it wold tak lik forevar 2 beet tham all unlas their was a marakal.

**Cue miracle to save her ass even though she doesn't deserve it.**

Lukely God is relly gud at thos. Suddanly a hole buncha smash bills apared and all of my allys startad hetting tham until they braked. Since everone had fetal smashs they cold fit the demins 2.

**I want to quit.**

And God mad them kep aparing wenevar they runned ot so evarone cold always us theres ovar and ovar agen.

**Oh. My. Enkindlers. **

Son we bet enuf demans 2 get to The Room

**The most important room there.**

were Lank was kapt wen the bad guys capturd him. But the poletishans werent ther!

**Sorry, your politicians are in another castle.**

"Ono were r they" I sed "Samas u wer evul until just a bit ago do u no wer they r"

"No sorry" Samas sed "I was in the Manshan wen they wer captared. I dont no were they r."

**Of course she wouldn't be of any help.**

"I no wer they r!" I herd.

"Who sed that?" I sed.

"Noone sed anythen Sara" Marth sed.

**...Nope! **

**I thought she was destroyed.**

"Its me Evul Clon Sara but im not evul anymor. Im still in ur mined" I herd. I gess I forgat that Evul Clon Sara was stil in my hed becuz she was exectly lik me in evary way no so her thots wer lik min al the tim.

**So, there are technically two Sara's now?**

**Two...Saras...Excuse me, my brain just died.**

"Were r they" I sed.

"Who r u telkin 2" Lauren sed.

**Don't mind her, she's insane now.**

"Its Evul Clon Sara. Shes still in my hed but shes not evul anemore becuz of the gayness cur that Tiffany med" I sed "I gess I shuld call her Gud Clon Sara now."

**I guess she's a split personality now. Proof you're crazy.**

So Gud Clon Sara telled me wer the polateshuns wer and we want 2 fine tham. We excepted 2 fit Saten and Brek Obaba and Mikel Jaxon but we didant c tham anewere.

**They're avoiding you because they quit. They don't want to be in this shitty story any more.**

Wen we got 2 the rom with Mit Ramni and Pol Rian and Jan Boner they wer all haven gay sax! This wod have ben a biger deel if we didant except this and bring the cur. We just injacted tham and they retuned 2 normel.

**Spades? Anything to say? Any comment about how they are cured yet probably still in sex positions?...Spades?**

***Singing Simon Curtis songs softly***

**Damnit! Sara! you broke Spades!**

"Thanks 4 saven us" Mut Romnoy sed.

"Ya we wer rapped in2 been gay and wer goin 2 spy 4 the demacrit party but u curred us jus in tim" Pal Reyn sid.

**...Okay. I know I don't like rap music but it doesn't turn you gay.**

"Now we can retune 2 wasintan and stap Brak Obomeh frum destructing Amerka and enslaven all the wite pepole" Jin Boner sed.

**YOU GUYS AREN'T EVEN ON EARTH! YOUR IN NINTENDO!**

"Cool do u no wer they want" I sed.

"Satin and Obsama and Mikel Jaxin climed in2 ther tim masheen and want back in tim 2 the cival war" Mit Ramboy sed.

**Time Machine? WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO BRING TIME TRAVEL INTO THIS SHITFEST?!**

**And she is back!**

So the poletishans laft. I new we had 2 go bak and stap the villns ons and 4 all!

**YOU NEED TO BE STOPPED!**


	31. Chapter 30

**Five chapters left**

**WOO!**

Its onely 2 days until Laurens birthday. Im so excite!

**We aren't.**

Alos ill be stayen at her hose 4 the antire weekand. Thats alweys relly fun.

**I'm sure *Wink8**

I cant wate onley 1 mor day of schule!

**END OF SCHOOL! BURN IT DOWN! HAHAHAHA!**

CHAP 30: THE SECRETE TIMLIN

**The _Secret _timeline?**

Aftar hering that the villens want bak in tim 2 the war of nothan agreson we retuned 2 the Manshan 2 figur ot ho 2 fine tham 2 defet them ons and 4 al. We coldnt us there tim masheen becuz it cum form Saten so it was prolly evul and stuf. And we didnt hav r on tim masheen. So we wer stuk in the presant.

**Of course they either steal one or make their own.**

"Wat shuld we do Sara" Marht sed.

"I dont no I gess we shuld prey 2 God 4 advise" I sid. So we did. Than God walked in2 the Manshan.

**GET LOST GOD! *Takes out Flame Thrower and incinerates the FAKE God.***

"U want 2 go bak in tim 2 defet Satin and Berk Abomo and Mikel Jaxun?" God sed.

"Yes" I sed.

**"To bad, I don't give a shit."**

"Ok Ill giv u a tim masheen" he sed "but first I ned 2 tell u sumthins."

**"You suck, I'm sending you back**

"Wat God?" I sad.

"I wasnt complately honest abot why I sant u to the Smash Manshun.

**YOU SENT SMASH MANSION TO EARTH APPARANTLY.**

I wanted u 2 defet Stan 2 kep him from doen evul thins in this uneverse I sed.

**They aren't in a new universe though.**

But theres mor than thet."

"Wat?" Lauren sed.

"This isnt the reel timlin" God sed

**Go figure. Wonder what she's changing in History now.**

"al of the mammaries in ur lif r fake. Barak Obams alredy want bak in tim and chaned the passed with a tim masheen he got buy maken a deel with Saten."

**OhmyEnkindlers *Facepalm***

"Wat reely hapaned?" I sed.

"Oreganally the Soth wan the cival war

**Hahaha...I'm sorry, I thought you said the _SOUTH _won the Civil War. But that can't be humanly possible for someone to be _that _dumb.**

**...MC...**

**...**

***RAGE MODE ACTIVE***

**HOW CAN ANYONE BE THAT STUPID?!**

butthen Barek Omaba went bak in tim 2 chang it so hed be presadent instad of a slav" God sed.

***DEMON MODE ACTIVE***

**THIS GIRL IS SO FUCKING RACIST! I bet she's part of the modern KKK too! I wouldn't be surprised!**

**I wouldn't be surprised if this girl is a terrorist who is planning to bomb every country but America.**

"So Obomas 2 blam 4 all the carpatbagers in reconstitution ear and the fact that the soth has 2 lissen 2 yanky libruls in the presant" I sed.

**I officially HATE HER MORE THAN I EVER THOUGHT I COULD HATE ANYONE!**

**I think we ALL feel that way. **

"Thats rite" God sed.

"We ned 2 go bak 2 chang the timlin back 2 nromel so tjhat the soth can ris agen!" I sed

**THIS GIRL IS A FUCKING BITCH!**

**From what it sounds like, she actually _WANTS _slavery! Oh my Enkindlers! I bet she supported the Salem Witch Trials too! **

"Thats why I relly sant u 2 the Nentendo wrold so that u cold fined al thes ot" God sid.

***HIGHBLOOD RAGE MODE ACTIVE***

**YOU CAN'T BE IN THE MOTHERFUCKING NINTENDO WORLD AND MERGE EARTH TO IT! IF YOUR IN NINTENDO YOU CAN'T BREAK INTO THE WHITE HOSUE! YOU CAN'T MERGE THE TWO WORLDS! IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!**

I wuz so mad this was low evan 4 Obamuh.

**Oh, this was low for Obama?! HIM GETTING RID OF SLAVERY IN YOUR STORY IS LOW?! And YOU BRINING SLAVERY BACK IN ISN'T!?**

The soth was saposed 2 win the war of nortern agresion

**Northern Aggression?! THE SOUTH WANTED TO BE A SEPERATE FUCKING COUNTRY!**

but they didnt and it was all Obamehs falt! I new I hed 2 go bak in tim and chang this.

"We ned 2 go bak in tim an chna thes!" I sed.

"I agree" Lauren sed.

"ok" Mark sid. All the Smashers agred 2.

***Holds up flame thrower* I am going to enjoy burning down her house and everyone she loves.**

"Ok I ned 2 mak u a tim masheen" so god snaped his figars and a tim masheen apeared that was big enuf 2 fit everon insid. I het the baton that mad us go bak 2 the cival war. Than wen I got ot of the masheen and luked arond it werked! We wer in the midal of a confadarat armey camp.

**Yet no one in the camp cares about the random house appearing.**

Suddanly a old guy walked up wering a gray unefrom I alredy new who he was but he introdused himsalf aneway.

"Hi miss Im Genital Robarty Li" He sed "and im the leder of the confedarat armey duren the war of northarn egression."

**Urge to kill...rising.**


	32. Chapter 31

**We did a lot of chapters today (It's Saturday as I write this) so we might be done by tomorrow (Sunday). Though M.C and I agreed not to post these until Sunday. So depending on how many chapters we do tomorrow is what decides if we'll be done tomorrow or Monday. **

**And let's skip the long explanation and just review.**

**QUICK! How many people are pissed about Sara basically supporting slavery and wishing the South had won the Civil War? Show of hands?**

2moro is Laurens birtday so their wel be a speshul treet 4 u pepole

**What kind of treat?**

**She kills you? Please?**

Lauren wrot a chaptat of this storey and ill put it her.

**PLEASE tell me she's better at spelling.**

**She probably is. Lauren is awesome. I think. From that review she made on that one story she sounds awesome.**

Laurens chaptar taks plase duren this on so the excitin clifhangar that this chap endz on wont be resalvd intil sonday.

**We know how your cliffhangers end and how they are resolved. Trust me, we wont be held in suspense. *Hears music and turns to Spades* Can you PLEASE stop playing that song!?**

**Hey! 'Super Psycho Love' is awesome! *Turns off laptop playing the song on repeat***

Im sad 2 say that thes storey is almost ovar. Chaptar 35 is gonna be the last chap.

**Four chapters left!**

So stay tund 4 the epac concussion!

**Is someone going to hid you with a brick and give you a major concussion?**

My fanes will hav 2 fined sumthin eels to reed aftar

**You? Have fans? Nope.**

that I rekamend the Bibal and Atlus Shagged both of thos boks r as gud and wel-writan as this storey

_**Well, **_**If it's as 'well-written' as this, I'll make sure to stay clear of it because it must be crap like this story. Not the Bible though, that's just confusing as Hell.**

an sois Twilit so maybe u can red that 2.

**We've read Twilight.**

**It SUCKS. Though her other book, The Host is pretty good. Aliens rock.**

CHAP 31: TEH WAR OFF NORTON REGRESSION

***Equips Fire Armor* I'm ready for war.**

"So im of 2 fite the battal of geticeberg" Genital Li sed "who wans 2 cum with me"

**Why is he not questioning thirteen year old girls and a bunch of video game characters appearing.**

"I do" I sed.

"Sorry but no womans alod in the miltry yet" Genital Li sid.

**'Yet'? As far as he knows, women never join the military. **

I forgat abot that.

**I bet you didn't even know until someone told you after writing this.**

All of the smashers who wer duds war alod 2 joyn the confaderat army and so cold Samas becuz she was wering her armoire so noone cold tel she was a women.

**And no one questions the high tech armor either.**

But Lauren and Me and Zalda and Patch and Jigalopuff and the gurl Ike Climer werent alod in the miltray.

**'Girl Ike Climer'? Who? Is that an actual Nintendo character? Someone tell me I am so confused.**

Nomely that wode be gud becuz a womans plas is at hom not at the battalfeld

**Tell that to every female soldier out there. I'm pretty sure they won't like that.**

but I neded 2 be the on 2 defet Satin and Oboema and Mikhail Jaxun. So Me and Lauren and the otter gurls waked away and came back wering fak moosetouches.

**There is no way that is going to work.**

"Hi who r yall" Genital Li saif.

**Pffft! Genital! **

"We r manely mans and we want 2 jon ur armey" I sed.

"Wats ur nam" Genital Li siad.

"Sara" I sed.

"Bit Saras a gurl nam" Genital Li sod.

**Sara also has boobs and long hair, and a fake mustache is going to make you think she's a boy?**

"Yea but this is a difrant tim I men theres a dud namd ashley in gong of the win so wy cant their be a dud namd Sara" I sed.

**Does he even know what that movie is?**

"I c ur pint" Genital Li sed

***Face Palm***

"but im stil nut convansed I men u lok lik a buncha gurls in fak mostuches.

**Because they ARE A bunch of girls in fake mustaches! **

Their neds 2 be a taste. Wy dont u nam al the NFL teems."

**...Oh my God! THERE IS NO NFL YET!**

I new sum of the NFL teems but not al of tham soi got ot my ifone and loked it up. I tolled the nams 2 Genital Li.

**CAN I KILL HER YET?! THERE IS NO WAY HER PHONE CAN WORK! THERE ARE NO CELL TOWERS!**

"Thats rite and the ifone hasnt ben invanted yet soi dont no wat that is ur holden.

**YOU JUST SAID WHAT IT WAS!**

R fones can onely cal pepole and sand taxt massages and picturs u cant go onlin on tham.

**You can't text or send pictures either yet! Do you even HAVE phones during the Civil War?!**

**SHE IS FUCKING UP HISTORY MORE!**

Alos the onely intranet we hav is dallup lik at ur grandmas hose so I dont thank its possabal 2 get the info onlin that fasst" Genital Li sad.

"Ur faseboks must tak 4evar 2 lode" I sed.

***Face palm***

**This girl is the BIGGEST idiot I have EVER met.**

"Fasebok hasnt ben invanted yet ether we stil us myspas in this tim.

***RAGE MODE ACTIVE***

**MYSPACE HASN'T BEEN INVENTED EITHER! OH MY GOD! DOES SHE THINK THAT THE CIVIL WAR WAS LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO!?**

It taks evan lunger tho becuz everon has musac on ther profils tho" Genital Li sid.

"Do u hav Taylar Swuft on ur profel" I sed.

**Grrr...I don't know how much longer I can take this stupidity!**

Genital Li shuck his hed and sad "she hasnt ben borne yet. Mos of us lissen 2 Willy Nalson and Meral Hagerd and Charly Danels and Jony Cahs."

"There al gu buncha old guys" I sed.

**Don't. Diss. Johnny. **

"Ok enuf talken we ned 2 get 2 geticeberg 2 fit the yankys" Genital Li sad. So we al stated marchin. We marthed 4 a few dais (this is the patr that Laurens chaptar taks plas duren) b4 we runned into sum1.

**I really wanna kill her.**

**I'll rip her to pieces, you burn the remains so there is no evidence.**

"Prepair 2 dye sothern skum!" We herd. We loked arond an sawed GENITAL USELESS GRUNT AND THE ANTIRE YANKY ARMEY! The battal of getyzbirg was abot 2 began! Expect this tim I had 2 halp the Soth win in order 2 win the war lik there suposed 2.

**Who's General Useless Grunt? Can't be Grant, he was useful enough to become president. **

**Raise your hand if you're going to help us kill her or help us hide the body.**


	33. Chapter 32

**This is Laurens Chapter. There isn't much to say about it really because it has a lot better spelling.**

Hi! Lauren here! This is my chapter of my BFF Sara's fanfic.

**No need to call her your BFF, we know your lovers.**

I decided to post this before anyone gets here for my party (except for Sara, who stayed the night). I have never written fanfiction before, so I don't know if this will be good or not.

**So far it's a LOT better than Sara's, and that's just because you know how to spell.**

I asked to write this chapter because I want to tell y'all about the real Sara. The Sara I know, the Sara when we're alone together, is a kind, beautiful girl.

**If she is kind, why would she portray herself as a close minded, racist, obnoxious bitch?**

Also, Sara wants me to remind y'all that we're NOT a lesbian couple ;).

**Suuure. Your secret is safe with us.**

Also, that was just a semicolon and a parentheses. Pay no attention to the wink that it wasn't.

**Oh we wont. *Crosses fingers***

I just like to put random punctuation at the end of my sentences sometimes. Yeah. Look, here's a hashtag and one of those "and" things that I forget the name of: #&. Now, here is my chapter. It's set the night before the end of the last chapter. I'll leave the battle with the Northerners to Sara herself.

**NO! You write it! YOUR WRITING IS SO MUCH BETTER TO UNDERSTAND!**

Also, it's from my point-of-view instead of Sara's.

**Finally a sane person telling the story.**

**I don't think you have room to talk.**

**HEY!**

CHAPTER 32: THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP

**That we know don't last.**

I waited inside our tent for Sara to arrive, for the stench of sweaty men with 1860s bathing standards that wafted over the encampment to be gone, replaced by Sara's sweet aroma of a summer's day in a field of flowers.

**Yep. Totally straight.**

As she entered, I looked up, and I got lost in her azure orbs as I have many times before. Her long, golden locks flowed down her back in waves, like a field in the fall ready for harvest. She smiled at me, which was like spring coming to her face, though it revealed teeth as white and perfect as a winter's snow. She was the best of all four seasons in one very beautiful girl.

**Yeah. That sounded a lot like the musings of a love struck person.**

She sat down next to me and we held each others hands. I loved to feel the softness of her skin the color of porcelain that reminded me of the elegance of the vampires in Twilight.

**RAWR! NOT A TWIHARD! I had so much respect for you.**

My skin was darker than hers. To the untrained eye, it appeared that I merely had a tan. However, it actually revealed the truth of my ancestry. My biological father, who died in a car crash when I was just one year old, was half-black. It was common knowledge that the man that my mother was married to was actually my stepfather and that my real father was dead, but my real father's race was known only to a select few people in our hometown in South Carolina. If Sara's parents or older brother knew that I was one quarter African-American, they would never allow Sara and myself to associate with one another.

**So, Sara's best friend is a quarter African-American, yet she wants to bring back slavery. Though I hope her family doesn't read this or your secret is not a secret.**

Sara's mother would not even allow my mother into their Bible study if they knew that her childrens' father was half-black.

**Sara's mom is a racist bitch too. Great.**

Sara knew the truth, however, and our very close friendship continued to thrive despite it. I new that Sara's occasional seemingly racist statements were nothing but a desperate attempt to earn the love and respect of her parents, not a reflection of her own deeply-held beliefs.

**Really? Wow, you sure know her so well. YOUR FRIEND IS FUCKING RACIST! That is NOT an attempt at earning love and respect!**

"I know I should probably be spending some time with Marth, but..." Sara whispered to me.

**Oh, your new boyfriend, I keep forgetting which of the three your dating.**

"You don't love him, do you?" I got close to her face to whisper back, getting lost in her pleasing olfactory sensation. She shook her head. Her beautiful smile went back into hiding.

**We knew she didn't love him. She went to a new boy the moment he turned gay, swapped boys again in less than a day when Link died, than did so again when Link was revived and again when Marth was straight again. You don't do that if you 'loved' the boyfriend.**

**She's just a slut.**

"I didn't really love Link or Cloud either.

**WE KNOW. You don't treat the boy like a fucking toy if you did!**

You know that. I mean, Link and Cloud are both legendary heroes with a lot of battle experience and Marth is a fricking PRINCE. I figure if I bring a guy like that home..." Sara stated.

**So, you did it for the fucking image. Sheesh! I hope you never get a real boyfriend! NO BOY! Not even JUSTIN BEIBER deserves a bitch like you for a girlfriend!**

"It's your parents, isn't it?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

**Her parents must be horrible.**

"It's just that... I want them to remember they have a daughter, not just a house pet who they have to give money to sometimes.

**Hey, if I get 1000 dollars to get a friend a birthday gift, just for being a house pet. Sign me up as a house pet. I'll even wear a collar. **

It's always 'Josh this' and 'Josh that' with them. 'Josh made the varsity football team as a freshman!' 'Josh caught a pick-six to defeat our school's rival and take our team to the playoffs!' 'Josh is dating the Homecoming Queen!' 'Josh got a scholarship to some random Division III school that's TOTALLY going to lead to him becoming the Great White Hope of the NFL, and South Carolina and Alabama and Michigan and all those other schools that turned him down are going to be sorry!'

**I actually know the feeling. When my brother lived here, it was always 'Dylan this' 'Dylan that' 'Dylan went into the Air Force! He's going to be a national Hero!'**

**...Don't tell me you found something in common with Sara...**

**Nope, because I actually stopped giving a shit. My bro and I were pretty close, he treated me how mom and dad treated him. So it's all good. Sara here can't seem to get over it though.**

I just want them to say something like 'Sara is dating the Prince of Altea'," Sara spoke.

**Whom she also majorly fucked up the character of.**

"If you want to know the truth, I don't really love Ike either. I'm only dating him to give us an excuse for all those double dates.

**WOW! Way to treat the boys like they don't matter! Oh my God! You are the worst girlfriend ever!**

To spend more time with you," I admitted. Plus, I was pretty certain that Ike was gay for that Soren guy from his game, but I left that part out.

**Heh, don't let Sara know.**

"I know," Sara nodded. We talked together for what seemed like just a few more minutes, but was really several hours. When I got out my phone to check the time, I was shocked.

**"It doesn't work anymore! It must be because there ARE NO CELL TOWERS IN THE 1860's!"**

"According to what I learned in history class, the Battle of Gettysburg is supposed to start tomorrow... er, today since it's after midnight," I stated frantically, "we should really get some sleep."

**At least SHE knows history!**

I wondered if the influence of time travelers again was going to change anything, like making Ulysses Grant the commander of the Yankee forces here instead of George Meade. I decided not to dwell on it though.

**I hope it doesn't change anything. **

**I hope Sara gets shot by a bullet and dies.**

"Good night, Lauren," Sara said. I kissed her on the forehead.

"Good night, Sara," I said. We both laid down to sleep.

**Yep.**

**Totally straight.**


	34. Chapter 33

Im back pepole and reddy 2 writ the fenal 3 chaptars of this storey.

**Almost done.**

**MC and I are going to do the last chapters Sunday.**

Tahnks 2 Lauren 4 writen the last chaptar (I dont no why everone thinks ther was sumthin lesban abot it ur relly reechen 2 try to mak me a lesban 4 ur sik pervart fantesys)

**If it has you in it, it's a nightmare not a fantasy. Unless your being killed. **

. U r so smart Lauren u shod be an auther sumday. Luv ya gurl (as a frend were not lesbans)!

**Lauren was a good writer. **

CHAP 33: THE FANIL BATTOL PART 1 THE BATTAL OF GETZBARG

**Almost there.**

"MWAHAHA WELL DEFET U SOTHARN SKUM AND END UR STAT RITES IN THE NAM OF SATIN!" Grint sed.

**...The North just wanted to abolish Slavery.**

"No u wont" Genital Li sad. Butthan Grunt fird lighting at Gentle Li. Than he paled ot a litsabur.

**SERIOUSLY?!**

"Beet u wernt excepting this!" he sed "Derek Obaba tot me 2 be a Seth Lard the firts tim he want bak in tim!"

**OH MY FUCKING ENKDINLERS *Smashes head against keyboard.***

I new that Genital Li was no mach 4 a Seth rite now so I throed him my litsaver.

"Catch" I sed.

**YOU NEVER EXPLAINED WHERE YOU GOT ONE!**

"ok" so Genital Li cot my lifesaver and actived it. Than their was a litsabur dool betwine the 2 of tham but I had 2 fit othar yanky solders. Me and Lauren and the Smashers and the Confadaret solders were all buzy with the battal. I puled ot my dads shitgun and shat a buncha yankys and they ded. But their wer so maney of tham. Their wer moar cumin every secant!

**Sara obviously doesn't understand how battles work.**

**We found that out in the first chapters.**

"how do tehy hav so maney solders!" I sed.

Than I relized sumthin. Maney of the yanky solders wer reely demans disgusted as pepole! They didnt dye frum my shitgun

**I don't know if it's supposed to be Shotgun or Shitgun anymore...**

so I hed 2 active my finale smush.

**CAN SHE EVEN USE A FINAL SMASH OUTSIDE OF NINTENDO?!**

The ones who reely wer humens ded pritty esly frum my finale smash but the denims tok lunger. It was a reely lon battal but it quakly becam cleer that the soth was gon 2 win. I saw Genital Li jam pup and driv my litsaber thro Useless Grunts hart.

"I surrandar!" Gront sed as jhe dyed. I puled ot a fefty dolar boll frum nye wallot and saw Useless Grunts fase vanash frum it and be replac by Genital Robarty Lis.

**Oh my God!**

The rast of the yankys runed away becuz they new they wer defet.

"Loks lik we wine the war" Genital Li sed.

"NUT SO FASST!" I loked around and I sawed Barok Obana and Mikhal Jaxan and with tham was Abrohim Linkin!

**Abe!**

**Yes! Abe is here! Are you the Vampire Hunter or Zombie Hunter Abe?**

"U well nevar stap us" Linkin sad.

**NO! DON'T TELL ME YOU HATE LINCOLN TOO!**

"I alweys wondared how u cold be such an evul jerk and a tirant diktater if ur a Republeken" I sed.

**HE WASN'T EVIL!**

"Ha! Im relly a librul I onely pretanded 2 be a Republeken so that conservatevs wod loose in the Soth!" Linkin siad "and u cant defet me Sara!"

***Grabs MC's pipe* That...BITCH! *Snaps metal pipe in half* LINCOLN WAS FUCKING AWESOME!**

***DEMON MODE ACTIVE***

"I well defet u and restor the reel timlin!"

"Ha!" Linkin sed "no u wont"

"Yes she will!" Lauren sed.

"I beleve in u Sara!" Genital Li sed.

"U can doit!" Mark sed.

"Yea!" Icke sed.

"Kick Linkins butte Sara!" Link sid.

"Uv cum 2 far 2 fale no!" Clod sed.

"U can sav the wrold!" Snack sad.

"Its alup 2 u!" Samas sed.

"Weve sen u do so much in such a sort tim!" Master Chef sed.

"Yea. We no u can won this fit!" Peech sed.

**"You're going to lose, you fucking bitch."**

**"I AM GOING TO FIND YOU! I AM GOING TO RIP YOU TO PEICES AND FUCKING BURN THE REMAINS! I WILL PISS ON YOUR GRAVE! YOU USELESS LITTLE BITCH!"**

**I'm going to hide.**

The rast of the Smashers sad gud thins 2 encorge me 2. I felt much beeter.

"O lok at that u think u can beet me. Its tim u new the trooth!" Suddanly Linkin puled of his mask the reveled that he was riley STAN THE HOLE TIM!

***RAGE DEMON MODE ACTIVE***

**AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH! LINCOLN IS AN AWESOME PERSON! HE IS NOT SATAN!**


	35. Chapter 34

**Hey, this is just a quick message. All the chapters are already done, and as you can see, I've been posting a lot already today. I'm spreading them out a little between each chapter though. Hope you don't mind. These last chapters Spades and I did earlier today, I'm just waiting for her to email me the final chapter, should be here in a little bit. With that out of the way lets go to the review.**

* * *

**Hey guys, welcome back.**

**WE ARE DOING ANOTHER FUCKING CHAPTER?!**

**Yeah, Spades is still in Demon Mode. Lincoln was in her top five Favorite Presidents list.**

I cant beleve that thes is alreedy the secant lust chaptar!

**THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING BOOK OF EIBON! THERE IS NO LUST CHAPTER HERE!**

Will Sara beet Saten and sav the wrold or wil evul win and al that bad stuf?

**She will, she will also change history, fucking with the lives of millions. **

Ur abot to fine ot! Than stey tooned 2moro 4 the epac concussion 2 this epac storey!

**PLEASE! GIVE SARA A CONCUSSION!**

CHAP 34: THE FENAL BATTOL PART 2 SARA VERSES STAN

**Go Abe!**

**LINCOLN YOU BETTER KICK HER ASS!**

Satin ponted his patchferk at me and tred to stag me to deth but I dogged it and panched him in the fake.

**Where exactly is the 'fake' located on the body?**

Than I tred 2 panch him agen but he knacked my fis asid with his hors.

**Horse? What horse?**

**THERE IS NO HORSE! HAHAHAHAHA!**

Meenwile Lauren was fitting Brak Obema and Marth wos fitting Mikal Jaxun and everone eels was fitting sum demans that Satin brot withim so noone was abal 2 halp me. I was al alon in my fite with Saten.

**You are obviously going to win.**

Suddanly Saten started gloing lik he had smashed a smesh ball. Than I relized that he cold use his finale smosh withot on jus lik me!

**Well _Duh. _You're not special so why should you be the only one able to use a Final Smash without a smash ball?**

His fenal smash cussed him 2 opan a porthole 2 Hell in the groind that I almos felled in2. Than a buncha demans cam ot of it and I hed 2 fite tham at the sam tim as Stan!

**I can see Stan fighting her, he IS a part of the fucking CIA. KICK HER ASS YOU IDIOT!**

I new I hed to activat my on finale smash. So I menage 2 killed all the denims but Satin himslef survivde the finale smash becuz he was the most powarfel villen evar.

**AND SHOULD BE ABLE TO FUCKING KILL SARA!.**

"Sara cache!" Genital Li throed my litsaber bak 2 me. I drew it and strated fitting Saten with it. He alos throed Grunts litsabur so I dool-welded tham 1 in eech han. Satin tred 2 stab me with his patchforc agen but I slised it in haf!

**NOPE! SARA IS NOT A FUCKING JEDI! I REFUSE! I REFUSE TO LISTEN TO HER! THIS IS TRASH!**

"Ono" Saten sed.

"Giv up Satin! U no evul wil nevar win!" I sid.

**This story was written, so obviously evil won. Sara is the incarnation of evil.**

**SARA IS THE ANTICHRIST! **

**That might be taking it to extreme...**

"NEVAR!" Stan sade. He leaped at me butt I dogged and I useed my 2 litsaburs 2 chap Satins hed of!

**Satan wouldn't die that easily. HE'S A SUPERNATURAL BEING! HE IS IMMORTAL.**

"NO!" Brak Obamug sed. He runned ovar and tred to reviv Satin with CPR but it was fortanetly 2 lat. Satin was ded!

**CPR? SATAN HAS NO HEAD! THAT ISN'T GOING TO WORK YOU IDIOT!**

"Yay!" I sed. Evaryon began celibating the victary in the battol and Brock Obomo and Mikal Jaxan had 2 rune away. Suddanly evrythin stated been in slo moshun and everythin begun 2 fad to wite. Lauren runned ovar 2 me.

**"Sara! My Love! Let us kiss to celebrate our victory!"**

"We ded it!" she sad. But than she was gon 2. I was al alon in a wite rome. Than God wanked up.

"Well dun Sara!" God sed "u killed Satin ons and feral! No the wrold is sav aand theris no mor evul!"

"And is the timloin bak 2 nomel?" I sed.

**YOU FUCKED THE TIMELINE UP!**

"Yes" God sed "withot Satins leedership that nords wer no mach for the sooth. And everone eels is saf."

**...I hate this story...**

"Wat abot Lauren" I sed. I was kinda worred that she mite be a slav in the new timlin.

**SHE PROBABLY IS AFTER YOU FUCKED IT UP!**

"Shes saf 2. And shes not a slav shell tell u mor wen u wake up in the fuxed timlin" God sed. Suddanly God walked away agen and evrythin stated to fad agen. My mishon was finally ovar and the evul was defeet. No it was tim 2 c the wrold I had repared form the damag that Osbama cassed 2 it. I closde my eyes and git reedy 2 opan tham agen.

**The damage Obama had caused? YOU CAUSED THE DAMAGE!**

**I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID!**

**...Uh...I think Spades might have rabies...she's foaming at the mouth...ROM?...can I please leave? Or put her in a cage so I don't get killed?**


	36. Chapter 35

**I'm calm, I'm good. I'm not Demon Mode anymore.**

**You're also wearing a shock collar in case you snap again.**

**...yeah. That too.**

I cant beleve that aftar almos sex weaks

**So you admit to having sex!**

of writen im fenally dun with my storey! Id lik 2 tahnk everone who sad gud thins both on and on . Its tim 4 u to get the rewad 4 ur reeding: the and of the storey whichis prolly the beast endin evar.

**I doubt it you arrogant little bitch.**

**I think she might have more arrogance than Zim.**

I thank this storey well godon in histary lik the Bibal and Atlus Shagged and Twilit as on of the best boks evar writen expect this on isnt a bok its on the intranet.

**THIS STORY IS ON PAR WITH MY IMMORTAL AS ONE OF THE WORST ONES WE'VE EVER READ!**

On day ill be the presadent

**...If she becomes president, I can promise you she will be assassinated. SHE IS THAT UNLIKABLE!**

and thes storey well be in my mooseum and ill mak everone in my adminstraton red it so theyll no my valus.

**YOUR VALUES FUCKING SUCK!**

**You sure I'm the one who needs the collar? **

CHAP 35: THE GRADN CONCUSSION

**What we've been waiting for: Her to get a concussion.**

I waked up in a fansy bad in a fnasy rom that loked lik a rome in an old platashon hose.

**So, she gets a fancy house now.**

I got outta bad and saw that I was wering a relly pritty fansy dres lik wat womens werd in the passed tims of the war of norton agresion. I loked arond and sawed that Lauren was in bad with me.

**I _wonder _what you had been doing in there together. **

She was wering a fansy dres 2 and she loked relly pritty init.

"Lauren wake up do u remamber everthin" I sed.

"Yea" she sid "loks lik we chaned tim. Hopfully that dosent men ima slav now."

**So, because of Sara, we still have the fashion sense we did during the Civil War, and we still have slavery. *Slow clap* way to go you racist bitch. Now go curl up and die. **

"God sade u werent and he cant be ron. Evan if he sad u wer u wode be my slav and id jus free u rite away" I sade.

**And how do you know she would be your slave? Wow, pretty possessive.**

"Thanks" Lauren sed "o I remamber no in thes timlin my reel dads mastar fred him than he marred my moter and hes alos stell aliv now."

"Tahts cool" I sed.

**Nope. You see, back then, and if Sara's time line went this way, your dad would have probably been killed for marrying your mother.**

So Lauren and Me waked ovar 2 the widow and loked outsid. We saw Bareck Obema and Mikhal Jaxun picken coton in the felds of my platashon. Mr Jonson and Becky wer my slavs 2 evan tho their wite (c is that rasest?)

**YOU WANT SLAVERY! THAT MAKES YOU RACIST EVEN IF YOU DO HAVE TWO WHITE PEOPLE AS SLAVES YOUR STILL A RACIST BITCH.**

Becky wasnt as fat becuz she had 2 do hard werk al thje tim but she was stil uglay.

**SHUT IT ALREADY! THE ONLY UGLY PERSON I SEE IS YOU!**

"Mak sur 2 wipe thos 4 alot" I tolled the overseers who were Mart and Clod and Limk! In thes timlin they lived in thes uneverse insted off vido gams.

**Yep. Makes total sense. So, she has her harem of boys still.**

Me and Lauren went donstars 2 the foyur of my planteshun manshon becuz there was a nok on the dore. I opaned the dor and their was Sarah Palen!

"Hi Sara!" she sad.

"Hi Sarah!" I sed.

**KILL HER SARAH! KILL HER!**

"Is Juston reedy 2 go2 Rihcmand yet?" Sarah Palan sid "we dont wanna be lat 4 r inebriation!"

"What do u men?" I sed.

"Dont u remamber I wan the electron so im gonna be swarn in as presadant of the Confedrat Stats of Amurka and ur husband is my vise presadent" Sarah Pelan sed.

Suddenly Juston Beebur waked don frum anotter part of upstars.

**...I'm pretty sure Justin Beiber can't be Vice President, he's Canadian, not American. I don't know, I don't know what the qualifications to being Vice President are but FOR ALL I KNOW SHE CHANGED THE RULES FOR THAT TOO!**

**Oh! HA! SHE'S MARRIED TO A FUCKING DOUCHE! HA! BUT WHAT ABOUT MARTH?!**

**She totally cheated on Marth.**

"Sorry I jus waked up" he sad "Im reedy tho."

He walk up 2 me.

"U lok grate hunny" he kised me on the check (c how cani be a lesban if I hav a hubsand?).

**Gay men have married woman to conceal their sexuality. Lesbian woman married men to conceal their sexuality.**

Than suddanly I got bak sum mammaries frum the reel timlin b4 Oboma chaned it. Sarah Palen wan the 2012 Confedrat elecshan and Juston Beebur was her vise presadent. Also he was my hubbard.

"Hurry up we cant be lat 4 the inebriation!" Sarah Palon sed "Todds alredy wating in the car."

**Ugh.**

So Sarah Palen and Juston Beebur waked ot to the car I stayed a few secants with Lauren.

"Gud lok in Richmun" Lauren sed.

"Do u reely thank ill leve withot u. Cum on!" I sed. Lauren tok my han and I led her 2 the car. I got reedy 4 my new lif as the wif of the vise presadent.

**OH MY GOD! SARA JUST SHUT UP ALL READY!**

THE AND

* * *

When the lights came on, both Spades and M.C let out cries of joy, clinging to each other desperately. Spades was even crying at this point, it was over. Their trip through Hell was over.

"I thought we would never finish it!" M.C admitted as Spades buried her face into his shoulder, "It was so awful! The Civil War? Slavery? NINTENDO?"

Spades laughed through her tears, "But we're alive, somewhat less sane, but alive!"

They let go of each other, glaring at the screen with pure hatred.

"I think we know what to do now,"

"Already on it."

Spades flashed a less than sane smile and M.C put on a devious smirk as he pulled a matchbook out of his pocket and Spades transformed into her Demon Mode.

"Go wild," M.C told her.

That was all she needed to hear before she lunged at the screen with a cry that would put a banshee to shame. The screen was quickly ripped to shreds, but she didn't stop there. Grabbing chairs, she ripped them from their locations, throwing them at the walls, punching holes into the walls, tearing pits of the floor out. All in all, she was just destroying the room.

After a good five minutes, it looked like a mini tornado had gone through it.

Spades took her spot next to M.C, still in Demon Mode, as he took a match and brought it against the box. It was quickly lit and he dropped it on the fabric that had been the screen, watching with a proud smile as the fire formed and began spreading.

Walking away, he turned to Spades.

"So...want to get some ice cream?"

"Yeah," Spades said as she and him walked, "Ice cream would be good."

"Can't believe we got two stories done in one day."

"Pure determination, M.C. Pure determination."


	37. Thank you

So we finally made it, huh? Took a while, thought it would take even longer. But we made it.

I bet all of you are happy it's finally over. 

While M.C and I are aware that there is a sequel; there is only one chapter of said sequel and thus not really worth the time to review. That being said, we do have a few other stories planned to review. Who's ready to enter a new fandom? Attack on Titan? Majorly fucked up crossover between multiple fandoms? I'm sure there are thousands of them out there, sadly that means thousands of them for us to review.

...

Who am I kidding! We'll probably all quit doing this before we reach the hundred mark! Haha!

Anyways just to reiterate on what M.C said in the first chapter; we do not actually mean half of the stuff we said in the story. We don't actually want anyone to go hunting down Sara and killing her or throwing her off a cliff or burning her house down. We aren't that cruel, we are just a couple of angry reviewers who are just saying what half of you were all thinking.

Don't try to deny it. We know it's true.

That being said, thank you for reading it with us, and sticking with us till the end. It was a horrible ride but it was a fun ride. Am I right?

Now, on that story that we mentioned earlier of a friend of ours; the one where it's taking the idea of Operation Smash Rescue (People go into Nintendo to save it from Sara) and applying it to multiple fandoms with shitty and horrible troll fics? Yeah, I'll keep you posted on when it's actually uploaded. TwinCarcino wants to upload the first three chapters all together.

Thank you and goodbye.

Oh. And P.S, we'll be reviewing her newest story next. It's basically being updated every day and so far the spelling worse (Either it's worse or we're just now noticing just how bad her spelling is)

But~ I finally get to do a Mikasa es Su Casa joke. Hopefully.


End file.
